Judgment (2 IMAGES)

61 thoughts on “Judgment (2 IMAGES)”

  1. I think when people take words, perhaps out of context, or at least out of their proper context, and find them judgemental, they are judging themselves. If someone feels a statement is judgemental, they should ask “is that what they said, or is that how I feel?”

    Take care, Amy. I read your post yesterday and was sad for you. You are strong, as strong as you need to be.

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    1. Very wise words, Dan. Words that I know to be true. This person is so tied up in knots over the word judgement because of all the issues she herself have yet to address. So very defensive whenever I spoke with her and it is a good thing that for now we are going our separate ways. I know what I have to work on and that’s all that is important. As for what I posted yesterday, thank you. I I have no words how I really am feeling right now my dear friend. It is a horrible place to be. 💕🐾💕

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    1. All I know how to do, Robert, is to allow the feelings and emotions their rightful place and have faith that come a time they will settle down. I will no longer stuff and I will no longer ignore. This is one of the hardest places if not the hardest place I have ever been in. I know this too shall pass and I will find Solid Ground once again. Thank you for your kind words. 💕🐾💕

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    1. Scott, unfortunately I don’t think that will happen. This woman is so deep in pain herself that she does not at this time in her life have the ability to have understanding of how I am going to pieces. It is a relief in many ways to go separate ways because it was always as if I was trying to drag words out of this person to help me understand where this person was coming from. She truly did not have the ability to communicate well for she’s still stuck in the pit that was dug when we were children. So I pray for her and I send her love with faith that someday the words will come. Truthfully life is messy at times and it hurts many times. Those are the times that it is hardest to express how we are feeling. It takes a big person and a lot of practice to not withdrawal. Thank you for your kind comment and your support. Both are so appreciated. 💕🐾💕

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  2. Two things are coming to my mind reading your post:
    – Never judge a person or their reaction because you don’t know the story behind
    and
    – The way someone reacts says more about that person than about the one that person reacted to.
    I agree, we need to talk. We need to speak up AND we need to listen. Old story, right?
    Sending you the biggest hug, my dear friend 💖

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    1. Erika, you are absolutely right on with what you expressed in your comment. When one person in a relationship is unwilling to talk things out Heart to Heart, there is no point in continuing the conversation and it is best at times to take a time-out. There is such a deep pattern within my family that dictates to many of us that it is wrong to express ourselves emotionally and passionately and truthfully and straight from the gut. I seem to be the odd man out so to speak, within this family structure. I will not pull anyone along trying or forcing someone to open up and talk. That I will not do because it is the person’s responsibility to do that very thing. Thank you so much for the hug because truth be told I don’t know how I’m putting one foot in front of the other right now. The pain in my heart is brutal beyond just beyond words. I do not know how to overcome this portion of my life but somehow I will figure it out. Bless you my dear friend. 💕🐾💕

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      1. Yes, it doesn’t help anyone to force another one to open up. We can try and encourage but need to understand that if they don’t then they are not ready to… for whatever reason. We need to accept that it is none of our business to judge it. But at the same time we don’t need to agree and walk our route.
        I felt your pain in the post before this one. I am so sorry. Again, sending you the biggest hugs, my dear friend 💖

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  3. It’s so easy to see the pain in your words, Amy. Overcoming that family message to hold it all in is such a lifelong challenge, but you seem to be there quite nicely. Be yourself, express what you feel, and let others deal with it in their own way. I’ve been thinking of you a lot lately, and I know you will overcome. Just give yourself time, you have been dealt so much. Major hugs to you. Glad to see you here, even if only for a single post. Be well.

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    1. Van, I seem to be the exception to the rule in my family. I am the odd man out so to speak because I am the only one who has learned how to speak from the heart. All my brothers and sisters have blunted emotions and they keep so much bottled up, they don’t know how to share their lives, and they do not think very highly of themselves or value who they are either. I honestly can’t tell you from whence I came from because when I look at my siblings I shake my head and ask but why am I the way I am and all others are not? Yes I have been hit hard, dear friend, and I really don’t know what end is up or what is down lately. This pain of mine is unimaginable and there are times I honestly don’t know how I can continue onward but yet I find myself doing so. I really don’t know what my plans are regarding blogging at this point… I am just taking one day at a time. It is so nice to connect to my friends again because they and you have been sorely missed by me. Thank you, dear friend, for supporting me at this most agonizing and difficult time in my life. So much LOVE to you, Amy

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  4. Those judgements come to the surface so that they can be seen Amy for what they truly are…pain. And allow a release of that pain so that it can be understood. If something causes pain there is only one direction…inwards to find the culprit, the feelings that hold those patterns.
    The most important part as you have said, is the communication that is taking place to heal them and begin a repair for all concerned.
    Much love and hugs to you kind lady, may your heart, above all, understand you ❤
    And also my heart goes out to you for the loss of Tee, it seems that your heart is being tested like nothing else at the moment Amy.
    Much love my friend, just keep the love that they all mean to you, it will never go anywhere but the heart that holds it ❤

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      1. If you can see the glow, Mark, I rejoice. Now mind you these photos were taken in August. I made a conscious decision last evening that I must plunge back into JOY as soon as I can for the sake of all those I take care of. I’m going for a long hike today to begin ….

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    1. Dearest Mark, I so pray that this woman has the courage and the sight to see what is to be addressed, those very things I triggered. Last night I wept again just thinking that this very woman who professes to Love me couldn’t even take a few seconds to text me or to pick up the phone to call. If the roles were reversed I’d be calling morning, noon and night to make sure that person was doing OK. The level of pain is atrocious … first my best friend, the one and only person I could say anything to, then my Mother, and now Tee. I could not feel any more Love for my cats then I would for a child of mine. Perhaps it is the Love transferred from the loss of my 3 pregnancies but truly the suffering I feel, that crushes until it wants to destroy, couldn’t be any less if I had lost a human child. I was shown clearly last night too that I will feel the LOVE from Tee, my Mom, and my friend when I push the crushing sadness away to embrace Love in my Heart. Having my Heart as open as it is the depth of pain that comes from losses such as this is devastating. I don’t know how to keep on moving forward but it seems I am slowly but surely. Baby steps. That is all I can manage right now when I can. 💝

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      1. It is a very big heart journey Amy, but its destination is one where your heart will be free of any untruth around you. You will finally stand in the truth of who you are, loving yourself because your pain has been released in understanding of your journey. A greater love you cannot find ❤
        As you said, do baby steps. Just do you. Find the love among the waves of loss, for it is the peace that will set you free.
        If it was you that had passed over and you were looking back at those people in tears, you would be pouring out so much love to them, connecting with them with all that you are so that they were no longer in that pain. This is what they are doing, that they are still in fact around and helping you with all that they are, cheering you on when you take one more baby step ❤
        Big hugs from me too beautiful lady, and much love from 'over here', just as they are giving from 'over there' ❤ 😀

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  5. Hi Amy, I sat down to read through posts while eating the dinner salad. I missed your one yesterday. I am sorry your sweet kitty has gone. Even in the best of time, this would be hard to take and I know you are already sad. The photo of the two of you tells me that you were his special lady. ❤ I know he was blessed to have you in his life. Thank you for taking such good care of him. ❤ You are in my prayers. May God Bless you and Keep you, Amy. ❤ ❤

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    1. Dearest Sarah, I’ve been hit so hard of late which to tell you the truth, tempts me just to curl up and stop living. The day that my husband took pictures of Tee and me (2 days before he died), I also took a video of my gardens to show everyone here, and yes, Tee is in it and talking. To have this video is like gold because I now have documentation of the special way he spoke. I’m trying so hard and failing miserably to get myself together yet for the sake of those who are taking Tee’s death extremely hard (my other cats), today I take the plunge, get dressed warmly, and go for a vigorous hike where there is naught but legs and lungs working vigorously to chase the blues away. To have 3 deaths in less then 2 months makes me truly question God just how strong He thinks I am. I lost my best friend who I could say anything to, I lost my Mom who truly became my Mom within just this last year, and then I lost Tee, a very special happy and free spirit who finally decided to trust me totally and then who in a blink of an eye was gone. Thank you for your prayers because I really need them! Bless you, Sarah!! 💞

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      1. I hope your hike today gave you some much needed comfort. ❤ I find being outside to be the most direct way to connect to Spirit and God where all the comfort and love we could possibly need can be found. I know how hard it can be to feel it when the mind and the body are full of pain. I know it seems hard to imagine now, but after you make it through this you will be more You. You are a sweet soul and brighten up the lives of those around you: humans and animals. I believe in Spirit and God and I don't think there is such a thing as goodbye. It is see you later. Right now, I know you want to hear the voices and feel the comfort of your loved ones who have gone and thoughts of being with them seem very remote and cold. Be still and find the warmth of their love and God's love within you. Little by little you will find your center again. I will be praying for you. May God Bless you and Keep you, sweet Amy. ❤ ❤ ❤

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      2. Sarah, your Light and your Love in every word brought such deep Comfort to my Soul. I “see” your Heart, one that is so open and filled with a Beauty that is only yours. Yes my hike helped immensely, thank you! There were Moments when that Forest wrapped Its Holy Arms around me and as I breathed in the Beauty that stirred my Soul, so much of my pain was lifted away. I actually felt Peace by the time my hike was over and the crushing pain in my chest gone. I will never forget how you reached out to me. You keep shining your Light into this world for it is so needed. Don’t ever shut down, dear friend. Together we will and can get through anything. And you are so right. There is no “goodbye” only “see you in the Rainbow Dream”. That by the way is what I told my Mother. I told Tee we are together forever and soon we will be with one another again. Until then his Love is held within my Heart as are all the others who have moved onto the next world. Much Love, Amy🌹

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  6. I believe, “stop judging me,” or any of the nine million other ways people are saying it, is just the latest fad. Kids say it to each other, I hear it all the time. It doesn’t even make sense because the people saying it obviously don’t even know what it means. It’s just the latest thing. It’s a to get people to stop talking, to get them to stop saying things they don’t want to hear, to confuse others, or to just say something new. I hope it goes away soon because it’s annoying and pointless. Don’t try and figure out what they are talking about or your head will explode. Seriously, just let it go. You know, from the deepest part of my heart, how truly sorry I am about your beautiful fuzzy love.

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    1. You know, Gigi, you have a very valid point in your comment here. I really thought about your words and it just boils down to control and fear. It drives me nuts when people put a stop sign in front of me when I am trying to speak about something and they don’t want to hear what I have to say or they don’t want to contribute to the conversation because for many reasons. It is all about perspective and it is all about where that person is on the life Journey path. You cannot force a horse to water either. The more I think about what you said the more sense it makes because what is happening not only to me personally but to a lot of others, is nonsense. And you are also right about trying to make sense out of something that does not even make sense. So yeah I did the right thing by walking away and this might be for a good. I am so done, dear friend, putting up with bologna phony shallow nonsense. And I really thank you from the bottom of my heart regarding what you said about my baby. It is one of the biggest shocks out of all the babies I have lost because this loss came from right out of the blue. Bless you for your support. 💕🐾💕

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    1. Garfield, I don’t feel strong and I don’t feel courageous, believe me. I just know I must pull myself from the temptation to curl up, not move, and stop living. I have too many other precious babies to care for and Love. Thank you for your encouragement. With beautiful souls like yourself, I will be able to transcend this Mountain of Pain. 💖

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  7. You know I really enjoy reading your blog Amy, and it is hard to not judge others, but it seems like society and especially the younger generation is doing just that, judging others.
    I love the way you speak out and be yourself, I wish I could do just that, but I am afraid of – being judged, of not living up to someone else’s standards.
    Stay strong Amy, keep going, like I know you have been through so many trials and tribulations.
    Many many hugs for you
    Love K.

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    1. Dearest Karen, I thank you for your wonderful comments and thank you for taking time to read my post written from my heart. You stated you wished you could speak freely but you are afraid to be judged. In order to walk freely you must work on freeing yourself from the chains that say, I am not good enough. Those chains that say, I am not important or I must act in such a way in order to make others happy. The only one who can do that, Karen, is you. It is a process and at times very scary. But I tell you true and I hope I encourage you today. When you choose to say to yourself enough of this BS… And start addressing Who You Are to make you feel good about you and then going from there and standing your ground declaring for all who will hear you, this is who I am. If they don’t like it that is their problem. I grew up without being able to express myself, being forced to be someone I was not, and it was hell on Earth. Between my childhood and now I have practiced how to be the unique individual I am. The more I stand up for myself and the more I show the world who I am the easier it gets. Oh yes believe me there are many people who I make uncomfortable and who do not like me because heaven forbid I show my emotions and I tell the truth. I do not fit in with the majority, something I have never done in my lifetime. But now more than ever because I declare to the world this is who I am and I love me and if you don’t like it tough beanies. I encourage you with everything I have to go Within and learn how to love yourself to the point that you will not compromise to anyone who you are. I say these things in love to you dear friend. If I can do it you can too. And I am not finished yet either with the work I am doing on myself. I am still learning… 💕🐾💕

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    1. Thank you, Randall, for confirming for me that what is written here is important and truly needed to be heard in today’s world. Bless you for the encouragement and kind words! 💝

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  8. IMHO. Judgment is the way to understand the problem. It is not always true and pleasant for a person, but it allows you to understand and correct behavior in different situations. Only indifferent and selfish people can go past non-standard situations. Unresolved problems create an atmosphere of mistrust and even hostility very often. I am disgusted with people who try to be polite and pleasant in any situation. They are not sincere and I avoid contact with them.
    I am open to judgment and glad when I hear them from others. It helps me learn and change myself.

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    1. People for the most part, Alexander, want to hide their heads in the sand while pointing their finger at someone else. Not me. In order to embrace growth we must see clearly those aspects of ourselves that need adjusting, changing, tweaking. People who play games and are not sincere put my teeth on edge and I would just love to shake them and shout … Who do you think you are kidding? I am open to constructive observations that someone is courageous enough to speak to me about in order to assist me to change for the better. I don’t like the word judgement period at all. It is harsh at least to my Heart and it contains so much potential of hurting another. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for commenting. Both mean a lot to me! 💞

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  9. Sorry to hear that someone blew up at you over words you said. Perhaps they were having a bad day, or were having a string of problems that made them react the way they did. But I agree with you on being openly honest and that you said what you had to say. ‘ I for one will not sugar coat the Truth’ That is me too. At the end of the day, I’d rather tell the truth sooner rather than later, tell it like it is as opposed to twisting my words to soften the truth which someone may take the wrong way. I hope you keep speaking the truth as you do. Not everyone has the courage to do so. The truth can be confronting but facing it head on is sometimes the only way to move forward. Very outspoken, honest to the core post. Thank you for sharing ❤

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    1. Honesty is the best policy, Mabel, yet just yesterday I stumbled upon a situation where I was less then honest which I believed in that Moment, to be the Highest Good to do. That is another post. But as for this one, yes I am honest, have learned to be so. I was not taught how to tell the truth but no, I was very punished for telling it. I was determined even as a child to undo what I knew deep within to be so very wrong. And so that has been my life walk. Thank you for commenting and adding your thoughts to my post. As for the person who blew up at me, she has so many issues she is not facing that my honesty triggered her. That was not my intention. I pray that she finally addresses her own pain and wounds so that she can move forward in her own life. Much Love to you this day. 💞

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  10. Hi Amy,
    Boy is this relevant for me right now. I’m sorry that there is so much self loathing in this world that we as humans manage to make everything about us at times. I struggle with self judgment for similar reasons-religious upbringing, parental influence. We were never supposed to fight as children. We were told, “What if one of you died tomorrow and these are the last words you said to each other?” That may seem wise but it isn’t. I grew up thinking that having any anger towards someone would kill them (somehow) whether consciously or subconsciously. Either way it would end badly. So I have been the one to apologize most often, blame myself most often and silently hurt most often. Now that I am moving beyond this problem and being more honest I find so many others that, while being brutally honest themselves and loving the comfort of being honest around me, cannot handle any small bit of that when I am the one being honest.
    I am so sincerely sorry for the painful things, both past and present, that are causing you pain now. hugs.

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    1. Hi, Cheryl. We were not allowed to show anger either growing up, taught that it was bad and if we showed it, got very punished. Today I have worked through a lot of levels of the dysfunction I was taught only to turn around to teach myself how to replace those things with health. I do express my anger but still, I must admit, have at times trouble doing so. The majority of my family cannot handle anger still and so do not communicate in a healthy manner about what is making them angry. More stuffing. The only way to heal is to acknowledge that which is clogging our circuits and to learn how to communicate in a healthy means, speaking Truth. I applaud you for moving past this problem, for it is so not easy to relearn how to confront or express truthfully how we are feeling, especially when we are hurting. I encourage you to continue your learning lessons. And thank you for your empathy. From out of this pain, new growth will appear and new wisdom as well. A lot of new will form because so much “old” is now gone. I feel as if I stand today stripped naked of what my life was. Much Love to you this day! 💞

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  11. Hi Amy!
    Firstly, my heart goes out to you as you have experienced yet another deep loss. I am truly sorry and send you love and peace. You are correct – honesty is the best policy and it is good to talk things through, as you say “real communication.” People have so much stuff going on it’s impossible to know what is going to set them off into a reaction from something we said. Take care of yourself the best you can!! Sending love, Donna

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    1. Thank you, Donna, for your kindness towards me. I honestly don’t know what is up or what is down. So many aspects of my life were torn away in such a short time and now it seems I stand naked and bleeding. For now all I can do is to continue to immerse myself in those things that alleviate the crushing chest pains that could destroy me. I’ve never been in such a nightmare. Yet the depth of my Compassion has deepened immensely already and my ability to stand up for myself to declare this is who I am getting even louder. It seems I just will not tolerate control or being put into a box by others and I’m so done acting in a certain way because others are not mature enough to grasp truth. Either I speak it or I walk away. Bless you for reaching out to me. 💞

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  12. Such difficult times these are! Some days it seems I just want to crawl back into bed and pull up the covers rather than watch or listen to the insanity and cruelness going on in the world, a LOT of it being driven by sick, partisan egos in Washington. The people no longer matter( not that we ever did really) and the hate fueled, argumentative rhetoric just continues to saturate our lives. Look what our so called leaders are offering our children as role models. They are being taught how to be disrespectful, angry, divisive, closed minded and down right nasty. It is no wonder we are all witnessing what we are. People have lost touch with common decency, respect, and most importantly the ability to LISTEN!!!! It is embarrassing and frustrating and just plain SAD!
    I am sorry life has been tossing so much on your plate at once. Stay strong AR and take time to look for the good in what is happening because it is indeed there if one can find it. We are all being given mega lessons right now, I hope it is in preparation for a huge shift in consciousness as what we are doing now is failing big time. You are not alone on your journey. Hugs to you and sending faith your way….VK ❤

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    1. You stay strong too, VK. You are SO right about how listening many don’t do. It’s as if their listening portion of their brain has turned to mush. In order to develop listening skills, one must listen. So many are so busy reading all the time via the cellphones or moving air with their lips and are so busy chasing their tails, they have “no time” to listen. I pray a shift in consciousness is almost here because I for one have been pummeled to the ground and pounded into dust. Faith? Not sure what that is anymore. All I do know is this all consuming pain that I must deal with and put to rest. Then I can go on to other things. Hugs back to you! 💝

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  13. Dearest Amy.. Oh I am so with you on this.. My own story such a similar one of misjudgement and so the door became closed..
    Speaking our Truth often hurts those that the truth is hitting.. For they do not wish to see the truth only their versions of it..
    Know my heart is with you Amy and let me also tell you, that your reading of that poem touched me greatly and I so so felt your loss of your beloved friend Tee…
    You so have my heart Amy xxx ❤

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    1. Oh boy, Sue, you hit it right on the head! I’m closing the door as I write this, easier said then done. I’ve grown way beyond most from my “past” and when I speak Truth which is what I have taught myself to do, the other person becomes uncomfortable. I feel it to be so. I’m finished trying to have a conversation when I have to pull teeth to get words from the other person and I’m done with the other projecting their unsettled issues at me when I do speak the Truth. The cost is high at times, my friend, for walking the Path of Truth. Thank you as well for your heartfelt empathy about the loss of my Tee. A greater loss I have not known combined with my mother and best friend. And yes, that poem by Wendell Brown is very very special. You have my Heart, dear friend. 💞

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