Thoughts Of A Thinker

71 thoughts on “Thoughts Of A Thinker”

  1. Amy, I can appreciate the depths that you’re feeling because trust me I’ve been there too. In the two years since I’ve lost my mum I’ve battled daily with a huge darkness within me. It’s not all been issues with her passing either but in my own journey and what I’m going through. We all have moments when we question everything, I know I do. But keep trusting in yourself my friend and keep seeking out solace in nature. She’s unbelievably healing. Warmest wishes and hugs 💙🌸

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    1. Miriam, oh how I prayed that I would get comments like yours that encourage me and uplift me as I continue seeking and sifting and searching through the ashes from the huge burnout that I experienced recently. Losing a mother is life-changing and it changes you for the rest of your life. The struggles I have encountered since her death have been numerous and yet in looking back I am seeing huge strides in my own growth. I extend to you huge hugs and many many thanks for reaching out to me. I truly understand your pain and your own Darkness because they just reflect mine. Much LOVE to you this day, dear friend! 💕😚💕

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      1. It is indeed life changing Amy and every day that passes we just have to forge ahead, the best way we know how. Sometimes forward, often back, but forever moving. Love and hugs always my friend ❤️🌹

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    1. And I in turn, Catherine, appreciate your honesty. It takes a courageous soul to even admit that we all have Darkness within ourselves. Too many people cannot or will not even see the darkness within themselves, for it is too painful and it is not easy to do. I wish you all the best on your Journey. I really thank you from the bottom of my Heart for your Heartfelt comment. Much Love to you this day, dear friend! 💕😚💕

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  2. “Each of us is responsible for our own happiness.” That was a message shared with me a long time ago. The first step in being happy is to accept yourself – all of you – and then work on the things you want to improve, expand, ignore and eliminate. It’s not a task for today, Amy. It’s a lifelong journey and we step off the path every now and then. It doesn’t mean you’re not still heading in the right direction. Accept where you are. Focus on where you want to be and move on – it’s all we can do, and it’s something we all do. You are not alone on this journey.

    Thanks you for sharing the beautiful pictures from your special place.

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    1. Dan, I have read your comment over and over again, and I am so grateful to you for sharing so much wisdom. I know I am not alone in this stumble and bumble and fumble called life yet so many people tend to hide behind games when they do stumble and fumble and bumble. I have dedicated my life to clean up my act and to get things according to my full potential, and that is what I have been showing here at my blog through written word and my pictures. There are times when the fall is so hard that I am shaken down to my very soul. Yet, in the shaking, what was meant to be rent loose is loosened so that I in turn, can decide to either keep it or get rid of it. Thank you from the bottom of my Heart for your words straight from your Heart. And you are quite welcome for me sharing pictures of this absolutely beautiful paradise on Earth that I am so privileged to have almost in my own backyard. May you have a blessed and happy day, for yes we are all responsible for our own happiness! 💕😚💕

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  3. Sounds like a very familiar journey AR!! I think it is the stage we humans are stuck in right now, coming to terms with the truth of ourselves. The most arduous journey we will probably ever undertake. It requires our courage at every turn to look within even when we don’t want to and the lesson returns even greater for us to deal with. I’ve actually been sick in bed for days now with an odd condition I had never even heard of…Costochondroitis! There’s a mouthful for you. It is extreme pain behind your sternum from inflammation in your muscles and bones where the ribs join. Can’t breath, can’t sleep, can’t even think. And yes, it can be caused from anxiety! The world is over run with it right now and I think most people just can’t take anymore insanity! There is no way of getting away from it. Massive lessons to be learned unfortunately many people are not learning the lessons by happily placing blame on others. I still say the world needs a jolt from above that awakens our ability for mental telepathy!!!! With it there is no longer the ability for people to LIE!!!!! Maybe truth will then get a chance to breathe. So sorry times have been so hard but I know your hidden strength is growing in the end as painful as it may be. Know you are not alone!!!!! Hugs to you….VK ❤

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    1. VK, I am SOOO sorry you are not feeling well. Anything connected to the ribs is incredibly painful! I’m still sending “energy” your way to assist you to understand the why of this condition and how to heal it. And yes mental telepathy would be nice. I have that to a certain extent and coupled with the fact I’m an Empath, I usually can spot a LIE a mile away. Truth is getting a chance to breathe …. in my own life and others I am seeing this. We are ALL connected so what effects one of us effects us ALL. Hang in there and 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 to you for your bravery and courage to keep on digging and seeking in order to be fully YOU. Much Love to you! 💝💝💝

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    1. Here I was knowing that yes I do have darkness within me yet I could not bring myself to “own” it. Finally, David, I’ve stopped fighting that darkness and instead I plan on showing “it” Love. Mind-blowing realization! 🤗

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  4. Isn’t it crazy that we always think we have to overcome or eliminate something of our inner hidden world which always catches up over and over again? And in the end, we realize that what we actually have to do is accept it as a part of our life and development in order to let it rise up and let it go. As simple as it sounds as difficult it is.
    Right now, I am learning to not push myself for a decision I cannot make yet, for not deciding before I am sure it is my heart that speaks. Otherwise, it would be a decision out of guilt and reason. I am teaching myself to give myself time, enjoy the moment (whatever moment), go with the flow, have a calm mind, and from there see the signposts which will lead me deeper to my own truth.
    Amazing post, Amy, which made this all even more clear for me. Give yourself time, and don’t swallow the unwanted over and over again. Sometimes we need to go through all the pain again in order to leave it behind us. Much love and blessings to you, Amy 💖

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    1. Oh, Erika!! You totally understand. Thank you! I know it sounds crazy that I knew I have darkness within myself, yet I could not get myself to accept it. Instead I fought it, pushed it away or pushed it deeper until one day that very darkness had its own way of making itself known. How that experience nearly broke me! And then in the breaking I saw what I’ve been doing and right there, surrendered. The relief was immense! I’m a work in progress and right now am seriously immersed in music therapy to assist me to let go of the dysfunction within me. Many Blessings and much Love to you, dear friend!! 💝

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      1. The vibrating energy of music… what could support better to loosen the grip of the old inside of us?
        I totally get you. We try to push it all back. It hurts and scares too much to look at the darkness. But when the pressure becomes to strong there is only the way up and we cannot do anything but go through it. In the end, we will always have to face our demons sooner or later. There is a natural way if we try to oppress it. Somehow it is like when you feel sick and try not to throw up but when you did, it is a big relief. (Sorry for that comparison…lol… but I think it fits pretty well.)
        Lots of blessings to you too, Amy 💖

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  5. Life is one long learning journey, that’s for sure. Learning how to live with and accept our ‘shadow selves’ is a big part of that. We’re allowed bad days, Source is still present and we can’t be separated from our good. 🙂
    Your photos are esp. lovely today, Amy. I love the pockets of light you’ve captured. There is always light even on the darkest days. 🙂

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    1. I was actually chasing the light on that day, Eliza. It was very late in the afternoon and the sun was rapidly declining to meet the horizon. My eye was deliberately pulled to pockets of light to which I photographed as quickly as I could before I lost that light. With the Sun that low you do not have a whole lot of time to capture a burst of Light within a pocket of Shadow. What amazes me is that this post was not written at the time of the shoot. Days later I wrote this post and only then did I edit the pictures I took and to my shock every picture I edited somehow fit perfectly within my words. To me that is amazing and a sign that Source is always always with me, even on the bad days. Much Love to you this day! 💕😚💕

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    1. THANK YOU, YellowCable. I’ve been experimenting with filters and how to compose an image, creating in a way I haven’t before. I’m also stepping into some different editing methods. Your comment meant a lot to me and I will continue to experiment!! Bless you! 🤗

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  6. I second Dan. It’s a process. We’re all in the process of shaping our own worlds, and that includes our happiness.
    Beautiful photos. Just incredible plays on light. Love them all, second one the most.

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    1. Thank you for commenting, Joey. I so do appreciate your presence here at Petals and you taking the time to not only read and view my work, but to leave your words as well. I love love love the second photo as well yet I truly don’t have a favorite. May you have a blessed evening! 💕😚💕

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  7. There is indeed darkness in each of us, and very brave of you to admit that out loud it’s within you, Amy. The last year sounded challenging for you. Sometimes emotions just bottle up and it’s not easy to find a release, let alone have the opportunity for it. But where there is darkness, on the other side is light. Self-improvement takes time…a long time ago I was convinced I wasn’t much of a writer, didn’t believe in my words and annoyed others around me with these thougjts. But I kept writing, and I today I write what I write. Hope you keep finding solace in your photography and taking care of those who need you and love you. Amazing captures as always, and I look forward to more honesty from you ❤

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    1. I’ve had several very challenging years, Mabel, and it looks like it won’t settle down anytime soon now that most of my cats are entering the elder years. This inner work is indeed very challenging. Ya gotta keep at it in order for the process to keep unfolding. Sometimes though, I would just love to dive under the covers and not come out for a while when the going gets tough.

      You keep on with your writing. I felt the same way as an artist as you but because of the tremendous support I receive here, I kept on and improving as well. I know you do the same as is evidenced by how many people come on by to read what you write. Thank you for the compliments on my images and you can depend on honesty from me. That is a promise. Have a great day, dear friend!! 😘

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      1. Does sound like challenging times for you, Amy. But like everything you’ve been through, your resilience will get you through it all. We will continue supporting you and your work, always here for the passion and honesty you give to us. Thank you for your nice words, and you take care ❤

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  8. Life is a journey and we don’t always make the right decisions, but working out how to get back onto the path we wish for ourselves requires much effort and insight. Within you’re heading in the right direction. Lovely photos.

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  9. This life is a testing ground, dear Amy, full of trials and joy. You recognize that there is opposition in all things. The beauty you portray in your photographs exudes the beauty and the light within you. Let your light so shine, my friend!

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  10. Hi Amy! No, this path isn’t easy by any stretch of the means. I have always counted on Grace and thank God it has been there for me – even when I have made terrible blunders, acting from my darkness. Somehow Grace knows I have a path – one of self love – and understands when I mess up and act from darkness, it’s only to expose that darkness to the light for healing. I know Grace is there for you too, helping in the background and I know your intentions are pure of heart. It is a struggle out there, but to have the consciousness of it all – is amazing!! Sending hugs and love to you! Donna

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  11. The pictures today feel astoundingly beautiful Amy, I must say they are special! They reflect the depth of your thoughts, the dive you have taken to see and understand the crevices within and each one shows a brilliant light that shines upon a place that exists in all of us that assists us on our path, the hope and trust that pulls us out of where we are. I hope you don’t mind what I say, I am allowing my fingers to type what my heart says. You are right this road of self progress is not an easy one …it is an amazing one though!

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      1. I’ve been ending up in the spam folder quite a lot lately and having a lot of trouble staying signed in as well with WordPress. Sometimes it’s so frustrating that I just have to walk away. I’ve been paying WordPress 6 years and you would think that by now the problems would have been ironed out between me and them. Sighs …

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  12. It’s been so trendy to deny the darkness within, ignore it, try to pulverize it. Think positive thoughts only or you’re a bad person! But we need the darkness to grow. The dark night of the soul can be beautiful if we surrender to it, let it show us what we need to learn, and, most importantly, forgive ourselves for not being « perfect ». I’ve found that the self-forgiveness has been one of the most powerful shifts I’ve undergone and it was only fairly recently that I figured out that it’s necessary to do. Your photos are so exquisitely eerie, Amy.

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    1. Julie, I know of people whose philosophy as they go through life is positive thoughts only. They only have half the picture for it is impossible to ignore the dark. The dark has a way of showing itself one way or another. I do believe in seeing life in general from a positive lens of view, by not deliberately focusing on the negative. That however, does not mean by any means that I am ignoring the dark. This was a huge jump in my self growth history as I realized I have never owned my own dark, only fighting it and pushing it away. Now by owning it I apply a lot of love to that Darkness so that Darkness has no means of hurting me any longer. I found your comment about my pictures being eerily exquisite somehow strange. It is all in the eyes of the Seer and if this is what you see all the more power to you. The important matter in all this is that you enjoyed both my writing and my photography. May you have a beautiful and blessed day this day, Julie. 💕😚💕

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  13. Beautiful writing to go along with the incredible fall photographs ~ and they pair well together. Autumn is a time for reflection and change, an opportunity to see the extremes within us and reconcile what we feel with the world around us – through your words and photos you are doing this perfectly. Asking the right questions and contemplating the importance of what you know and feel. Wonderful post, Amy ~

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    1. Thank you, Randall. September for me has always been a month of big changes, and this year is no different. The artistic process does not cease to amaze me for in shooting this series of images, this post was not even written yet. In the writing and then the editing, every single photograph fit perfectly with my words. I call that magic. I call that Blessed. I am SO glad you came by and enjoyed this post. You could say I’ve been doing a LOT of thinking of late. When triggered the mind starts questioning. 🤗

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  14. Amy dear friend, this battle within is hard, and I agree with you this journey of ours is far from easy..
    And as we learn to let go and transcend our ego and shed the layers that have locked us into these patterns we see ourselves and others constantly repeating..
    Something springs to the surface and it is as if a light switch has been turned on, As we release the burden of what we have carried..
    Yes we’re duel in nature and we hold both light and dark.. Just like you said, The Angel on one shoulder while the Devil sits on the other..
    Learning to distinguish their whispers is at times hard.. For One merges very closely to the other..
    It is not until we really listen, Still our minds, and re-connect back in on our true selves often with the help of Mother Nature do we separate the two and see clearly both sides and where we stand..
    Until we let go of judgement.. And that also means Letting go of judging ourselves.. All too often we are too hard upon ourselves…
    But when we do give ourselves that time, and space to go within and listen to our hearts.. It’s amazing what it reveals and how it forgives..

    The time now is upon us Amy whereby those of us who have been on this journey for a while, are coming to greater understandings, not only of ourselves but of our roles and place within the scheme of this giant puzzle we call life..

    Life is about to show us more truths many will find VERY hard to comprehend.. Our Hearts must lead the way forward in love and compassion and respect..
    The world is going to shudder soon…
    And we are all of us clearing out our own closets of thoughts in preparation for the big energy transference..

    Sending Continued blessings dearest Amy… Be well, So pleased to know your Cats are also improving..
    Stay Blessed..
    Sue ❤
    P.S. Each of your photos dear Amy were so special, each blended perfectly with your text my friend.. And each of them had an aura about them.. Something so very special is happening between you and your lens.. Not only the eye of the camera.. But the eye of Mother is with you.. ❤

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    1. Sue, as I see it, either society will collapse in on itself or something will occur that will jar the majority’s attention away from their selfish ways to learn once again to reach out, that we are all brothers and sisters. My chiropractor yesterday when he heard ALL that has transpired just this month alone, looked at me and said softly, “Amy, you are a lot stronger then you know.” I am not sure about that anymore, Sue. I honestly don’t know if I will make the Journey’s End.

      About the only time I can jump back into my Happy Zone is with my camera. I agree something very special is happening when I’m one-on-one with Mother. It seems the pain and the exhaustion of my life comes to a halt when I’m with Mother. But not only that. Could it possibly be that what I am experiencing in Life itself is adding to the mystic of my images? Could it be that Mother is using the Pain of my Heart to allow me entrance into her world even more so then ever before?

      THANK YOU for stopping by and commenting. It’s been a very tough Summer, heck! a very tough couple of years for me. It’s harder and harder for me to rise into my Calm Place as the continual rise of disharmonious energies culminate into a thrashing madness of unstoppable chaos. You stay Blessed. (((HUGS))) Amy

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  15. Our thoughts shape our reality. The words we say; the images we make in our head; these make up the story that becomes what we are. It’s not even the experiences that make our life, but how we interpret and respond to our experiences.

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  16. Beautiful photos and a really thoughtful post, Amy.
    To know love, we need to know hate too, Amy. When we have lived in not so nice life situations, we learn to appreciate better conditions, when we see and experience those. We do also learn by our parents/family mistakes and then we will be able to change for ourselves and perhaps our coming family later in life. Often we bring the good things on and the bad things, we remove so much as possible. Those need to be worked with too, at least to be able to go on in our new life, so we don’t need to look back later. Not always possible, but good to think about.
    Much love to you ❤

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    1. Some of us, not all of us, want to improve our lives, Irene. I know some who more or less chase their own tails constantly bemoaning their fates, yet willing to do next to nothing to improve their lives. LOVE your thoughts that you added to mine. I read your words carefully and brought much along with me to think upon. To which I have YOU to thank for. XOXOXO

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      1. You are so welcome Amy, we used to be good to inspire each other ❤
        As you know, I do also know that kind of people, they wish a change with a magic stick, without they need to do any change by themselves…

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      2. Life occasionally comes along and kicks our behinds really really hard. You and I both know that. I was hardly blogging during the Summer just sporadically. My Mom’s death and everything else that happened literally broke me. I’m just now beginning right now to feel better and to stand strong. Thank goodness!! And about those people who do not want to help themselves …. I no longer enable them. 😘

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  17. Beautiful soul, beautiful heart, beautiful human…. this is who you are. Your honesty is so gorgeous! My practice is to love what is, love what comes up, love what I discover. So if a dark moment reveals itself, I am grateful for it and love that I can now see what I couldn’t see before. I relax into it and surround myself with love. I ask myself, can I love myself exactly as I am right now? Am I willing to love myself right now? Every thing shifts the moment I stop resisting what is, and become willing to love what is.

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    1. Dearest Michele, I do not get comments like this often so when I do, I cherish them. In order for you to have said what you did to me, I know this is who YOU are.

      Allow me in turn to comment on your thoughts. It is not easy, in fact takes much discipline, to accept the darkness within us and not only this, but when it does surface, willingly allow it to be. It does serve a purpose, does it not? So we who are brave and of determined mind to understand ourselves, dig deeply in order to get to the “root” of that darkness. It is then we can gently embrace that dark, speaking to it and acknowledge, explaining to it that it no longer serves a purpose in your life. And … to love thyself even in these times when the darkness is bold … not easy either. You are so wise to know, to understand that everything yes! does shift the moment we stop resisting What Is.

      Recently someone called me on behaving in a way that was deplorable. I acted out of deep pain, believe me. Yet I fought not. I stood there allowing this woman to angst against me, as I flushed deeply saying quietly, “I am so sorry. Please forgive me.” Then I explained I acted as a child and as a result lashed out from out my pain, my broken Heart. Not showing anger defused her anger and she ended up hugging me. I learned so much from this experience and a knowing that I am capable of anything anyone else is. It is how I CHOOSE to act that counts. (((HUGS)))! Amy

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      1. Wow wow wow… BEAUTIFUL!!! You exercised such strength and grace in that moment, l know how hard that was to do. THAT is the work and the practice. And in that moment, you shifted everything. WOW! Sending you love and light. Hugs back 💖🌸✨xoxo

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