Secrets. Half truths. Lies by omission … ways so many of us were taught how to interact with others. Honesty is surely not upheld much in today’s society, is it? It’s no wonder so many do not know how to be honest with themselves much less with anyone else.
If we don’t learn to trust with our very souls, we set ourselves up for a very lonely existence, one that will have us running from here to there and back again with insatiable yearning in our souls to anchor in a safe port. We need connection and a safe place where we can be cocooned in a Heart that is willing to give us the freedom to be ourselves.
Growing up not knowing how to have a healthy, intimate relationship has hindered my relationships throughout my entire life. I am teaching me to be honest with myself and with others, maintaining diplomacy where it is required when others are not at the same place I am in. Time and time, however, I seem to bring fear to the forefront in others regardless of what I say or do. Why fear? People tend to hide behind doors, peeking ever so carefully through well constructed cracks to protect themselves from potential pain. Honesty brings Vulnerable along and Vulnerable is scary! By hiding, their real Selves are not seen.
So, it’s Game Time!
It is my responsibility to be honest. Do I mess up? Yes I do yet when I do fall, I get right back up on the Honesty Horse to keep on riding! Gosh darn it! I’m gonna get this honesty thing right to the best of my ability!
Creating a smoke screen to hide behind preventing honesty to present itself, hurts others. Withdrawal. Silence. Avoidance. Anything but honesty. Many hurt feelings could be avoided if we all choose to be honest with one another. Energy can be felt especially when dishonesty comes along to poke and prod.
Recently I met two women while at my favorite park. They stopped when they saw me photographing something, curious if I had spotted a bird or another form of wildlife.
When finished I laughed and told them I was only photographing a closeup of cattails. As I walked towards them I started to share where I saw a bird if that was what they were interested in.
Both had cameras. The closer I came the more I knew they were put off by me for I felt their aversion. It felt like a slap in the face. Here I am only being myself but I inadvertently created a less then a harmonious feeling in another. The moment I realized this I did not attempt to get any closer not wishing to cause even more alarm. My goodness! Neither woman could even give me eye contact. Wrapping my narration up quickly about the bird I had seen, I wished them good luck. I knew somehow I had pushed an alarm button in them. All because of my “energy”.
They evidently could not be honest with themselves by welcoming me for who I am, thus the uncomfortable situation that developed. Whew! In walking away, I just looked back at those two women and felt sadness for them. This behavior is so typical in this world. If someone is different [gasp!], the predictable [for the most part] response from others is guards up, with honesty taking a back seat. In honesty’s place stands judgement. Don’t you think that can be felt? Darn right it can! Ouch!
As a dear friend said to me, I am choosing my own happiness. It is on them, not me, those who refuse to be honest not only with me but with themselves as well. That is a prison of their own making and no thank you, I would not wish that existence on anyone. Care to join me for the ride of your life on your own Honesty Horse? Let’s begin today! As with all aspects of life, the first step in living an Honest Life begins with you.
This is a contribution to ForgivingFridays of ForgivingConnects that promotes healing through forgiving of our judgments and limitations.
*Photographs for the most part were heavily accented with effects.*
Photography/ “Honesty Horse”/ September 2018©AmyRose