… the sorrow, the despair, the pain, is beauty if you but look to see. The year 2020 has been in my humble opinion, the most difficult and painful year I believe any of us have ever experienced. Yet those of us who know how to find beauty, do, and by doing so, we are able to create a safe haven away from the chaos and utter madness of the world.
It’s Christmas, a very special time of year for our love to shine ever so brightly, as an example how to live every day of our lives. The evil I have witnessed in this world especially this year only strengthens my personal convictions that I live my life according to love and according to me. No one can take the meaning of Christmas from you, unless that is, you allow it. As I’ve stated before, I will not bend my knee to evil as I honor love.
Even with a broken heart, I was able to find beauty. Our Doodles, instead of last week, went this past week to the Rainbow Bridge. Looking as healthy as he did, we decided to have our Vet examine him which she did on Monday. Understanding came with that visit. Our Doodles was suffering from significant abdominal growths that had metastasized. Cancer. This is why he had become so confused and acting so strangely. On Tuesday, December 22nd, our family assisted him to the Rainbow Bridge along with the aid of a wonderful in-home euthanasia Vet.
The night before his ascension, he managed despite being so weak, exhausted and in terrible pain, to climb the stairs, head bump his Daddy who was in bed and then from there, jump up the cat tower in our upper hallway. There he laid all night in the brand new rendition Daddy made for Doodles. This was the first time he actually went into it and he was most assuredly thanking Daddy for working so hard just for him. Tears.
That was Dad’s gift. Mine came the next morning. As Doodles was passing, he placed his left paw on my heart. No words. Just no words. Tears.
The next day we witnessed a precious moment between Rusty and Charlie comforting each other on the love seat. Both have broken hearts loosing their brother who they loved so very much.
Earlier the same day our boys reached out to one another, Mother gave me a Gift like no other. Despite our forecast being cloudy and a lot of snow coming our way, early morning on December 23rd, I saw a morning sky shining with the Morning Star. It was unlike any other morning sky I’ve seen. Between the Morning Star and the cloud formations, I was in awe. I stood with tears dripping down my face, knowing my Doodles was definitely HOME. I had no doubts but to receive confirmation from Mother, is a precious Gift.
Five days before Doodles went HOME, I had to get out of the house with my cameras. Within one hour’s frame of time, I found beauty that spoke of how I felt and which contained signs of what was to come for Doodles. If you take your time viewing the following pictures, you will both see and feel the desolation, yet with the right perspective the beauty as well. These pictures are personal, yet knowing the year all of us have had, I have no doubt you can relate as well. Transmute your despair and sorrow into beauty like I am showing you here. Breathe. Just breathe ….
I know this is an unusual Christmas post, but me being me, I will not be a hypocrite and pretend all is well. Despite my broken heart, I insist on living my life in beauty and peace, and love those around me. Cherish this time and spend it with family and friends. God is good. God is with all of us. Celebrate this Christmas as the Gift of Miracles it truly is.
Merry Christmas, my friends.
Photography/ “Within …” / December 2020©AmyRose
All images watermarked for protection.