The Journey Home

71 thoughts on “The Journey Home”

    1. I am sad too, Dan. My family is my world. Yes I was given extra time with her. Upon exam a tumor the size of a golf ball was found in her abdomen with irregular edges. She was suffering, wayyyyyy beyond what I knew. I told her she has taken care of so many, now it is my turn to bring her HOME safely to end her suffering. The stories I have about this baby regarding a bond I cannot even put into words. How we interacted it was as though she and I knew exactly what the other was thinking and feeling. She will be greatly missed and my heart truly is breaking. Some day again we will be together. xo

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  1. Amy, I have tears in my eyes as I write this as I know of the deep love and loss of a beloved furry family member. Your darling Cookie is at rest and your vibrant rose is proof that love grows and endures under any circumstances. Sending you big hugs and lots of love my dear friend. And may Cookie R.I.P. xxx 🌹🙏❤️

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    1. Oh, Miriam, bless your heart for your heartfelt empathy. My Cookie meant so much to me. I never know who these cats truly are in spirit form but this I can say. Cookie is the brightest soul I have ever met. To have the name of Mom of this baby was in every way an honor. Spirit carried her HOME with a huge celebration waiting for her. So many loved and adored her, many who are on the Other Side. Thank you for the hugs and love. Thank you. BIG (((HUGS)))!! xo

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  2. What a special post in every way. The rose looks like a beautiful painting to me full of love and vibrancy. It seems to me to parallel your love and connection to Cookie. I anticipated hearing that she was still on the mend so feel some surprise with her passing. At the same time I hear your peace around it and comfort knowing she’s HOME. Sending love and hugs your way Amy!

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    1. Thank you, Cathy. I really thought Cookie had turned around but she was just too sick. Upon exam, our in-home Vet found a abdominal tumor the size of a gulf ball with irregular edges. She was far sicker then I knew before the two weeks started where she did present with critical symptoms. I am so relieved she was never exposed to the barbaric conditions Vets are being forced to operate from creating as they do severe harm upon pet parents and pets. I pray, OH how I pray, hubby and I have enough knowledge to treat our babies until this horrific insanity ends. Yes I have peace but at the same time my heart is breaking in a million pieces. Thank you for the love and hugs!! SO appreciate them!! God bless you!! xo

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  3. Ah dear lady, my heart goes to you for such a beautiful connection for so, so long. If that isn’t a soulful connection meant to be dear lady. And even Mother shared this moment with such a wonderful show in a flower so perfect. Just as you and Cookie had been…and always will be ❤️
    Love, light and hugs to you Amy, her heart will always be with you ❤️ 🙏🏼 🦋 xox

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    1. Bless you, Mark. Hubby and I tried so hard to turn our Cookie around, doing everything and I mean everything we knew how to do. I thank God she was never subjected to the hell called Vets offices right now. And I also pray that we have what it takes to keep the rest of our babies stable and healthy and away from the nightmare Vets offices have become.
      Mother never lets me down. Never. This rose appeared from seemingly out of nowhere. One day I noticed a bud and the next blink this huge glow-in-the-dark red rose was evident. I honestly couldn’t take my eyes from off of it, and to this day cannot. Some day I will be reunited with all those I loved dearly. Until that day arrives, I continue to walk Love and Integrity, loving those that consist of my family and those who I know. Love and light and hugs right back. Thank you for your compassion at a time when my heart is just breaking. xoxoxo

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    1. Rob, not once have I experienced human love as I have experienced love with my cats. It is pure. It is unconditional. We humans have so much to learn from the animal kingdom. Cookie taught me a depth of love I am unable to put into words. We really were One. Bless you for your words. They mean so much to me. xo

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    1. Thank you, Julie. That very rose was in sight where we sat in our backyard when Cookie went HOME. That rose is still there to this day, reassuring me Cookie is in the Light and free from all suffering. Thank you for the love. I receive it. xo

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    1. Thank you, Gigi, with all my heart. This pain I feel is one that I wish would stop, yet this is the price we all pay, those of us who dare to love with all of our being. She loved her catnip mousies and hunted them right up until the day she left. Yes I agree this is a great loss. Cookie, however, truly is in the better place. Bless you! xo

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    1. Thank you and bless you, Dana. Cookie and I were as ONE, something I have not experienced before. To have gained her complete trust and whole heart, is to me the greatest honor in the world. It took 3 years for her to trust me when she was outdoors having been born wild. When finally she decided to come indoors to live with us, not once did she what to go back out. Hers was the most amazing transformation going from completely free and wild to submitting to become an indoor cat. She did it with grace and with ease. She meant the world to me. xo

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  4. I’m so sorry that you lost Cookie. I admire you for allowing her to pass away at home in the place she loved and being with her through her last moments. I think that is important part of what we owe our kitties for all the love and happiness they give us throughout their lives. Bless you and Cookie. Beautiful Rose.

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    1. Thank you, Tim, for your sympathies. We allow all of our cats to pass at home now after we witnessed the most horrible euthanasia at a Vet’s office. Not only did I make my mind up to find the best in-home Vet which I did, but we “fired” the Vet who callously brought harm without remorse to both my husband and myself and to our precious baby we had to put to sleep. Our in-home Vet I trust more than any other Vet I know. Cookie gave me so much, more than I can ever put into words that the very least we could do for her was to give her a Going Away Ceremony befitting a Queen. And a Queen she was, not only how she hunted, the most incredible hunter I’ve ever seen, but a Queen in her very stature. She had this ability to surgically within about one minute time perfectly eat a mouse, delicately spitting out the stomach and intestines. I was IN AWE how she operated not only on an invisible radar knowing exactly where those mice were, but in the stunning way she neatly ate a mouse, spitting out a perfect stomach and intestines with noting attached to them. [This is from the days she was still a wild barn cat.] I miss her more then I can possibly say. This past Summer she became very clingy to me, becoming my shadow. I knew she wasn’t feeling well from that sort of behavior and yes the alarm bells went off. As long as she looked to be comfortable, I watched her very carefully for months. The relief of not having that now is immense. I so look forward in going HOME myself where not only Cookie will be but all those who I love so much are waiting for me to join them. xo

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    1. Thank you, Scott. I couldn’t answer your last comment being in the middle of heart rendering pain. When our in-home Vet examined her, she found a golf ball tumor in her abdomen with irregular edges, a very bad sign. The picture here of Cookie was taken last week Thursday I believe, just as she began to really go downhill. Fast so fast she went down. She’s been ill for a while but still going as normal. She is forever in my heart and the memories of her are precious.

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  5. Hi Amy, You’ve been on my mind and I’ve been saying prayers for you, Cookie and your family. Sounds like Cookie had a very special, blessed release from her body. What a wonderful tribute to her too – the Cookie Rose! She will continue to blossom each and every year. Much love to you and yours – sending heartfelt love to you! Donna

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    1. Bless you, Donna, for having me on your mind and saying prayers for us. My heart is broken yet at peace. I’ve had so much sorrow in this lifetime that if I gave into the tidal wave of grief within my heart, I may not be able to hold onto sanity. Cookie was just incredible, not very photogenic but breathtaking in person. I’ve always looked at the pictures I took of her and have known how much more stunning she is then what the photos show. There was just something about her that stopped you in your tracks so taken by her. Our Vet as I held Cookie, kept stroking her, saying over and over how she couldn’t get over not only how gorgeous she was but how soft and silky. In her young years when she was still outside, I was mesmerized by the way she seemed to fly with that huge fluffy tail sailing behind her. She will never be forgotten by me nor by this family. That red rose is still going, still proclaiming that this realm lost such a unique and special soul. I will see Cookie every year when this rose bush flowers. Much love to you and yours. Thank you and so many blessings for your love and prayers. xo

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  6. So sorry to hear that you lost Cookie…pets are always so attached ..so lovable..it is always painful to lose a loved one..but good in a way that her suffering did not last long…May her soul rest in peace ..
    God bless you 🙏🙏

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    1. Thank you and bless you, Krish. When our time comes to depart this world, it comes no matter how much we humans would prefer it did not. How I miss seeing her precious presence! Yet I know how very ill she was and how much she was suffering towards the end. I am Cookie’s Mom and one of the very difficult positions I am put in is to bring an end to suffering. Her soul is at peace that much I do know for mine is as well. God bless you for reaching out to me at a time in my life when my heart is just breaking. xoxo

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  7. Oh, Amy! This made me cry. I’m so deeply sorry for your loss of Cookie, sweet friend. 🤗 What a precious soul she is and was. Your stories of her are beautiful. You both were blessed with such a love as this! ♥️

    I love the rose and the symbolism it provides. Your story of the gentle winds moved my heart deeply.

    I’m sending you endless love, Amy. Praying your heart be comforted as you process her loss.

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    1. Bless you, Holly, from the bottom of my heart. I can feel your “heart” and know how moved you are. What a blessing you are, for so many in this world of today no longer have the ability to show or feel compassion, being just so shut down. Yes Cookie was at best perhaps the most powerful soul of all of our cats.
      My story I leave with you, as I have with others here, is one that perhaps will make you smile. Cookie was an extremely independent, wild barn cat. How this gorgeous cat along with her bio sister ended up in the barn next door I have no idea. Both along with a third female just seemed to appear. For years I only was able to observe Cookie and I honored her wishes NOT to force anything upon her at any time. Years went by. Before she was spayed this tiny cat had two litters back to back leaving her in a very depleted and starving predicament. I stepped in and began to feed all cats in the barn. I also took matters in my own hands to make sure there would be no more kittens. Unable to get to Cookie, I was able to get Junie her bio sister and the 4 babies belonging to her and got them all fixed. The owner trapped Cookie (sorry that is harsh just thinking about that one) and got her spayed. Finally. Time went on. I saw her run and hunt like no other cat before or after her. She was Queen.
      This is the smiling part for you. One day as I was filling our bird feeders I felt something warm and wet on my jeans. Looking down saying, “what the heck?” to my complete astonishment, there was Cookie spraying me, marking me as HER property. From then on, little by little, I was able to touch her. After her bio sis died, I brought her inside and never not once did Cookie even attempt to get out the door. These outside cats have a lifespan of no more then 6 or 7 years maximum and she knew another Winter would just be too much for her. I’m thinking she was about 5 years old by this time. She adjusted quietly and with dignity and for years afterwards I kept up with ONLY touching her when she allowed me to. The last segment of her life, all she wanted from me was to be touched and to be held. Going from wild and free and “you can’t touch me” to craving my touch, that ought to tell you how much she deeply loved and trusted me. I spent her last day kneeling where she was laying, and head bumped with her for hours.
      My heart is just so sad right now, dear friend. Perhaps it is a very good thing that the time has come for me to start closing my gardens for Winter and I have Fall to look forward to with my camera. Yes I take time to mourn and let the tears fall, but I don’t stay there. I KNOW Cookie has been reunited with those she loves and is now running wild and free just the way if not better then the way she so so loved to do.
      Much love and big (((HUGS)))!! Thank you so much for keeping your heart open in a time when so many have closed their hearts. xoxoxoxoxo

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    1. Thank you, Erika, and bless you for your support and love. Both mean so much to me at a time in my life that again I have lost someone I love so dearly. Mice getting caught has been passed down to Whispers who just today caught a [toy] mouse and brought it to my computer chair. It’s still there as I type these words. (smile) Cookie taught him how to hunt and he is carrying on the tradition. Perhaps Whispers will teach someone else how to hunt? We’ll see. Sending you much love!! xo

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  8. Dearest Amy, my dear, dear friend.. I had to stop wipe my eyes several times before I could carry on reading to see through my tears…
    My heart breaks with yours, for I know the bond that deep love we share with our sacred four legged friends…
    What a beautiful transition, as our Earth Mother showed you she is well taken care of in the next dimension…
    I have no doubts Cookie’s Rose will not only bloom every year growing stronger still, but I also know that your undying love for Cookie is eternal, and that Love can never be parted…
    Sending HUGE Hugs over the ocean dear Amy…
    Love and Well wishes my friend… ❤ ❤ ❤

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    1. Bless you, Sue, from the bottom of my heart. Bless you for your heartfelt compassion. In these times either compassion is developed even deeper, or is absent (my observation). Your compassion has deepened immensely IMO.
      I had a story to tell you about Cookie but changed my mind this morning when a new situation came to light. Keep in mind the “wind” when Cookie passed as I tell you what just this morning I found out.
      Our TRANSFORMER on our AC/furnace burned out. There was SO much energy that shifted upon Cookie’s passing because she acted as a transformer, taking with her an immense amount of dark fetid energy. The day she passed, my house smelled clean. The following day a stench so bad that smelled like death itself was coming from our living room, the very room she spent the most time in towards the end, which has had me cleaning like mad. I thought I had gotten to the sources (furniture, floor, rug) but as of yesterday I still at times smelled that horrible smell. Now this morning Hubby figured out our transformer “died” and needs replacing. I will guarantee you when it is replaced and our AC/heat is once again running properly, the “smell” will disappear. There are times I smell things that I’m not sure are physical or spiritual. I just know this. Cookie took with her a HUGE amount of death with her from the Cosmic Energy itself. I knew her to be a HUGE soul in spirit but this? I AM STUNNED!
      Cookie’s rose is still blooming, something that in of itself is extraordinary. I also have a single daisy flowering, something that should not be for daisies have long been gone. Many signs and wonders going on here.
      I’ve had intense episodes of tears that wrack my entire body. They are however brief. I cannot explain this peace with not only myself but my remaining cats. Rusty and Sassy seem to be taking her death the hardest so I am keeping a close eye on them.
      My love for Cookie is eternal, Sue. My heart is so heavy right now yet to know what a powerful soul I had the privilege to care for as a Mom, humbles me so much. If I told this story to the general population, you know very well what the consensus would be. I know you get it.
      Thank you for the support, the love, and the compassion you showed towards me and mine. May Spirit bless you tremendously for extending your heart to mine. (((HUGS)))!! xo

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      1. I hear you Amy and so understand what many would not within your words you have shared here my friend… I hope Rusty and Sassy soon settle, As I send you continued love and Peace your way… ❤ Love and Blessings right back ❤ ❤ ❤

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    1. Thank you, Eliza. Your support and empathy mean so much! I’m moving a bit slow these past few days, having to really get myself back on stronger ground while comforting and caring for the rest of the family. We’ve got such peace in this house with seemingly everyone already at “acceptance”. We’ve in the past gone through atrocious grieving but not it seems this time. Everyone is just so happy for Cookie that she is wild and free once more and no longer suffering. Bless you! xo

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  9. I believe all the animals have a special place they go to as well. Our loving pets are not here long enough on this earth. But the time I do have with them I cherish. And I as you give our fur babies the best homes we can. Where we keep them safe, fed and happy until they go home. It is always hard to see them leave but I know I will see them again also.
    May I tell you Amy, I had a golden retriever, a beautiful loving dog. We were very close, she was only 7 years old but got the hip problems that sometimes goes with this breed. I had to have her put down, it broke my heart. This was many years ago. But one night a few months later, I saw a field of grass in a vision, the wind was blowing and the tall grass was dancing in the wind. I saw a tree line way off in the distance and I could see something running. It kept getting closer and closer, and then I recognized it. It was my Maggiee, she was running towards me, happy and no pain in her legs. Another dog showed up, Maggiee looked at me, with almost a smile on her face as golden retrievers do. She ran off with the other dog. My heart was finally at ease, my eyes tear up every time I think of this encounter. But in a good way, He takes care of all His creation. 🙂

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    1. Sandra, when I read your words I cried, for I both felt your “heart”, felt your tears and they connected with mine. I loved Cookie more then I can possibly express and what you described I KNOW to be true, yet I’ve yet to “see” it. In my mind’s eye I “see” Cookie running freely through the fields with such wild abandon and joy, something she loved to do before I brought her into the house. I was mesmerized by her from the moment I laid eyes on her and whenever I would see her run, I’d stop whatever I was doing just to watch. Her big fluffy tail like a sailboat sail up high in the breezes effortlessly sailed through the air just as Cookie did. For this reason, I took a clipping of her tail to remind me how happy she is running freely now.
      Even though I was not allowed to touch her, Cookie’s rule, she began to trust me. When I saw how she tortured and mangled mice, I urged her not too many times, “Cookie, mercy kill. One bite through the neck will do it.” In a manner of days she caught on and from then on, she would mercy kill and bring that mouse right to our backdoor where she would eat it. Three years she experienced freezing cold winters. One year she experienced starvation until I stepped in. The owners believed barn cats can exist on mice only but I knew better and so began to bring food over every day for her and others to eat. The day her sister was killed on our road who Cookie was taking care of (Junie was so ill at the end), I decided right there I was bringing her in our house. I could no longer stand by to witness her suffering in that freezing cold barn. When I scooped her up in my arms, a major accomplishment, she did not fight, or struggle. And the transition to an indoor cat was painless and easy. Sandra, she was just an extraordinary cat in all ways. I’m tearing up now …..
      All this past Summer, Cookie became my shadow which told me oh oh, something is going on. Very clingy. I knew she was sick and has been for a while, especially when she stopped eating and I began to feed her. Every time, and I mean every time, I’d go lay down for a rest, Cookie insisted on being right next to me making sure no matter how tired I was I stroked and loved on her. There were times I complained out of sheer exhaustion. Sorry, Cookie. Mommy does have her limits and truly know those complaints were from out of my limited humanity.
      There are so many on the Other Side who have been reunited with Cookie. I know. The night of the day Cookie passed, I dreamed I embraced a woman who I hadn’t see in a LONG time and my heart just literally burst with love and joy. I believe that was symbolic of what Cookie was experiencing herself.
      Despite this being so incredibly difficult I rejoice that this extremely rare Light is now HOME. Imagine, Sandra, someday both of us will be reunited with all those we have loved here. Just imagine it. I have. Sending you much love and light and (((HUGS)))!!! God bless you for understanding and for loving as you do. Many people cannot love for the downside of love is the excruciating pain we experience when we say goodbye. God does take care of his creations as He takes care of me and my family. SO much peace is in this house right now. xo

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      1. Amen Amy, yes, He has His ways of telling us everything is all right and thanking us for taking care of His creation. I also have a stray cat, she is part of our family now, she is actually sitting on my mouse pad to the computer right now as I type this. Animals have a way of knowing what we need and asking us for what they need. Animals are a true gift to us I believe. They live in the moments and they can teach us to do the same thing. That is why He gave them to us. 🙂

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  10. 😢Oh how my heart goes out to you, Amy! I know how it is to lose a precious furbaby. A piece of my soul crossed the rainbow bridge with each one that has passed. The hardest thing about having furbabies is we almost always outlive them. Your memories of Cookie-Mama are a blessing and I thank you for sharing them with us. She remains close to you in spirit and her spirit will continue to inspire you. You will see signs that she is around. Wrapping you in LOVE and (((hugs))), MW ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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    1. Thank you, MW, for your heartfelt and loving empathy. As with you, a piece of my soul has passed with Cookie, and every single one of my other cats as well. I agree with you that when the time for saying goodbye comes, it is the hardest part of being a fur baby parent.
      I share with you another story about Cookie, something I only witnessed with her. As I have repeatedly stated, Cookie was an extremely huge light and powerful soul. When she was still outdoors as a barn cat, twice she did something I came to coin as the “feast” or the “last supper”. Twice she knew when one of her sisters was going to die beforehand. First time it happened I was clueless. The day before Molly died, another barn cat, Cookie brought down a rabbit(!) and to my eyes it looked to be a special feast. The following day Molly was killed on our street. Cookie KNEW she was going to die, but I didn’t figure that out until some time later. She did the exact thing with Junie. This time she brought down a Mourning Dove(!). In both instances the rabbit and and bird were about the size of Cookie. That ought to tell you what an expert hunter she was and the effort she put forth. I found her desperately attempting to de-feather this bird, crying in desperation because she was so exhausted. I de-feathered this bird for her and then brought it over to the barn, knowing this was the “feast”. Again, Cookie knew. As God is my witness I to this day do not know how she knew.
      Two days before her last day, Cookie hunted SIX [toy] micies and it wasn’t until after she was gone that the light bulb went off. She was signaling to me that she knew she was leaving and prepared herself the “feast” as a sign. As I write this to you, the awe I feel is indescribable. Yet I know what I saw is true. Junie was killed on our street the following day.
      I had a dream the night of the day she passed that symbolized the intense JOY and overwhelming LOVE Cookie felt being reunited with those she loves on the Other Side. I asked her before she left if she would be one of my Guides, yet so far I’ve yet to see evidence of that. I know she is in my heart and I will never forget her.
      Bless you for the love and (((HUGS)))!!! Both mean so much to me!! xoxoxoxo

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      1. Thank you for sharing such a meaningful story with me, Amy. Beautiful Cookie will always live on in your heart as your forever companion. Blessings of peace, solace and strength to you…from my furmomma soul to yours….💞💞MW

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  11. This was a beautiful tribute to your dear Cookie. I could feel your love for her in every word…it brought tears to my eyes. A love like that doesn’t go away, she is still with you in spirit. Sending prayers and ALL of the hugs your way. Hang in there my friend.xoxo

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    1. Dear friend, know please know that though my heart is broken, my Cookie is truly in the Better Place. To stumble and to fall apart in the days of where she is no longer here, is to be expected, yet over time, my heart will not acutely render. Oh yes God does have Cookie in the palm of His hand. I have no doubt about it. Much love to you! xo

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  12. I am so sorry Amy. 💗 I understand your loss. I apologize for the delay in writing back. I saw your other post to me early hours on Sunday morning 3 AM ish. I had too many tears to type back with my own loss of Crumpet only two weeks prior. This new post didn’t reach me until Sunday either. I see it was written on Thursday. My mail must be slow. I have thought about Cookie and the similarities with Crumpet. I called him Velcro or peanut butter at times as he was always connected to me, always wanting to be close and from the first day his mother plopped him on our front porch I was his. He went very fast as well and about two weeks time. These two precious souls are together now. Their jobs being completed here. We will see them again as I know they will never leave our sides. Twin souls perhaps. 💞 I feel the same as you that they are in a much better and deserving place now. Sending so much love to you Amy and your husband and fur kids that my heart will burst. ♥️ Always connected, Always through love! 🙏🏻😇💙🌈

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    1. Denise, Luv, please do not ever apologize. I’ve got tears in my eyes as I write this to you, for I so understand the crushing heart pain when it comes to a loss like this one. I am so so truly sorry about Crumpet. I’ve yet to have ONE person say “I am so sorry about your baby” to me other then my sister. The heartlessness in this world is shocking and that is one very very good reason why I cherish the relationships and connections through my blog that I do. I FEEL your heart and I know how deeply my loss has effected you.
      Cookie was so independent most of her life and it was not until she began to feel ill that she became like glue to me. Every night when I attempted to open a book she insisted on giving me love bites on my arm and hand in order for me to pay attention to her. And of course I did. She curled up next to me or on top of me every time I would lay down to rest. Believe me when I was exhausted all I wanted to do was chill but yet somehow I found the strength for my hand to move and my eyes to stare into hers as I told her how much I loved her.
      The night of the day she passed, I dreamed I met someone I knew but had not seen in a very long time and the complete JOY and boundless LOVE I felt in my heart just about burst my heart open. I believe that this dream was given to me to show what Cookie experienced when she went HOME. Finally finally she is together again with some very loved souls she knows.
      Bless you for the love, dear friend, as I return the very same to you. God help me I know how difficult this is and how much I miss my Cookie yet ….. knowing she really is in the Better Place does help. I still have an afghan that has her scent on it. My head buries in that afghan every day. She was so sick at the end with a very foul odor coming from her that I rejoice I have this afghan.
      Always connected, Denise, through LOVE. This is the power and secret of LOVE. Once the bond of LOVE is formed, it never ever can be broken. BIG (((HUGS))) and a huge knowing you and Crumpet will again be together. SMILE!

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      1. Thank you Amy 💞 More ((HUGS)) and smiles for all the LOVE and special memories as well as the knowing that we never truly part. 💖 Heart Centered we are! 😇 BIG LOVE!

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