If what I am about to discuss you consider politically incorrect, move on. The following words are based on my experiences. I know I am not alone, hence the reason for this post. My intention is to bring to light subject matter IMO that imperatively needs to be addressed.
In speaking to one of my brothers yesterday who lives in Georgia, I realized I was not alone. The lightbulb went off with a flash as it hit home hard. I and my siblings are wounded children suffering still to this day from the severe child abuse we survived. As a result none of us, at least those who I speak with, can wear a mask. It traumatizes us. A mask immediately creates PTSD, anxiety, panic, claustrophobia, and in addition me exposed to suffocating shortness of breath when we attempt to wear one. Even seeing others wearing a mask traumatizes us. We just are not able to handle it. God help me! It hurts! I presently am protecting myself by not wearing a mask.
For five months I’ve quietly stayed at home while my husband, God bless him(!), has done all the shopping. I’ve tried several times to go out with a signed doctor’s letter stating I am not able to wear a mask based on my medical condition (other then wounded child syndrome) but to my horror, and despite the fact the Executive Order exempts me from wearing a mask, businesses inform me, “No mask, no service.” Deplorable behavior! Of course those businesses have lost my interest and money. I stand upon integrity!
Then another lightbulb! The majority of the population are wounded children who either are (a) unable to wear a mask, thereby prisoners in their own homes; (b) suffering silently while wearing a mask, as insidiously their soul is crushed with despair; or (c) out in the world acting as bullies while wearing a mask, bombarding their festering woundedness on those around them. What will it take for people to acknowledge their own pain in order for the colossal inhumane behaviors exhibited in today’s world to cease? How impossibly wretched for all of us who are unable to wear a mask and those who do wear a mask for we are continually traumatized again and again. That is, until we of the wounded soul choose to learn how to protect ourselves from further harm. However, when in denial or the consciousness is shutdown, realization of what is actually occurring is blocked.
How my heart cries at times. The emotionally-charged road I’ve personally been on has resulted with me recreating and repairing that which others completely destroyed. I am presently only going to parks, the library and a hair salon. I found a hair salon that honors my doctor’s letter so I do not have to wear a mask. This after the hair salon I had been going to for years denied me my right to freely breathe resulting afterwards in three days of respiratory agony. Lesson learned! While at the library I wear a face shield and I can breathe with ease, and thank heavens without experiencing PTSD. The parks I have to be very careful of where I go because the political atmosphere differs from park to park. I go to those only where people are not wearing masks.
What a tough way to live! And I know I am not alone either. Friends, if we do not dig our heels in and begin to heal our wounds, we will continue looping in this horrible cycle of anger, hatred, and violence. Our inner child will be pounded with every imaginable nightmare which in turn will increasingly worsen the degree of inner woundedness. I have disengaged completely from this world’s madness, focusing instead all my energy in creating my life [again] from out of ashes. My latest endeavor has been creating a gym from materials that enable me to mimic what I used to do at the gym. I almost have my new gym complete. I have one pair of 10 pound dumbbells to get (Hubby, thank you!) and waiting on my custom made bench press Hubby is making for me. (another thank you!)
The first step in recovery is self-healing. It is only then we can move forward in a positive direction!
Photography/ “Wounded Child” /August 2020©AmyRose
All images watermarked.