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Maturing Self-Respect

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Life is a classroom. This is where we learn lessons that are presented to us within our lives. If we do not learn them the first time around, which is the case for most of us, they will be presented again sometime in our future.

 

Presently it seems I’m working on self-respect more then anything else. Yes there are other lessons yet this seems to be my Major. In recognizing this opportunity for what it is, I began to “see” my life differently. I examined my past actions and didn’t like what I saw. I am finally ready to change my actions to line up with respecting myself even more.

A situation kept repeating itself in my life and I allowed it. By allowing it I enabled the actions of the other person and in so doing trampled my own self-respect. I shrugged my actions off by saying, “This is who this person is and so it is.” One day the camel’s back broke and I finally said, “No longer will I allow this behavior towards me. It is not right. And I most certainly deserve better.” I then took measures to notify this person that how I am being treated will no longer be tolerated by me.

 

If I don’t respect myself, how will others respect me?

 

I am no longer willing to accept this behavior as being OK.

 

By allowing others to control it shows two things. One, we are disrespecting ourselves and two, the one who is controlling is actually insecure and afraid.

 

We all deserve respect regardless of who we are or what in happening in our lives. If we don’t keep the lines of communication open, a relationship will not survive.

 

I am no longer willing to have my own self-respect trampled in conceding to someone else’s control. I am standing tall. I respect ME.
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My decision to follow through with my declaration regarding actions that are no longer tolerated in my life, was not easy. It was right out scary. This relationship is very important to me, yet I just will not compromise who I am any longer. My intent is within the space I created by backing away, both of us conclude that changes are to be made in order for this relationship to continue. I was taught to be a doormat as a child. That no longer holds true.

 

A very talented writer, Jude, wrote haikus for my Crocuses that I showed here recently. Please visit Floral Wonders to support his grand efforts. Thank you!
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Photography/ “Maturing Self-Respect” /March 2020©AmyRose
http://www.herladypinkrose.wordpress.com
All images watermarked for protection.

80 thoughts on “Maturing Self-Respect”

  2. Lovely deep colors – I love the colors in new buds! So nice to see and so refreshing. Some people are just so hard to figure out, that’s why I’ve stopped. Like you, I take care of myself and my own stuff. Other people have their problems – I don’t need to get involved. If it comes towards me -I wack them, give them a 1-2 in the face!! Ha ha ha. Of course just kidding – but sometimes . . . Have a nice rest of your weekend!! Much love, Donna

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    1. I can get much deeper color on a cloudy day, Donna. These pictures were taken yesterday on a very cloudy chilly day. Getting on that ground was not pleasant but I did it knowing I would get phenomenal shots.
      We all have problems. All of us. Yet that does not excuse any of us to be rude or ignore each other. Relationships take work and if one person is willing to let communication to slack due to problems, that relationship is going to sink. I took care of matters diplomatically and kindly but firmly from out of tough love. I just don’t deserve from anyone actions that speak I have to wait “my turn” in order to get a slot of time. What is important to me I make time for. Most of my day revolves around flying around doing doing doing. If I don’t stop to consider someone to reach out no matter what else is going on, it won’t happen. If I can do it, anyone can.
      Have a great Sunday. I’m going to a forest today. It is sunny! YAY! Much love to you! xo

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    1. Aw, bless you, Marie. This circumstance was very painful and it was not easy for me to stand tall and say in essence, “no more”. We all deserve respect, no matter what is going on in life. Communication is key. IF someone is really in a bind and unable to talk, let the other person know so that someone is not hanging on waiting and waiting. That is not right. I have worked so hard at loving myself in all ways and it just continues until I finally am satisfied I am respecting me through and through.
      May you have a superb Sunday! It is sunny here so I am going to a forest with my camera. YAY!! Much love to you! xo

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      2. I did enjoy, Marie. And yes you will be hearing all about my adventures, especially about a certain bird who for the life of me I just couldn’t find even though I could hear him. LOL

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    1. Holly, standing up for others is a whole lot easier then it is for ourselves. At least it is for me. Yet when we deeply and absolutely respect ourselves, when we do stand up for others, we will be that much more effective. Have a great Sunday, dear friend. Thank you for the comment and the compliment on my flowers. Much love to you! xo

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    1. Since you really don’t know me, self-love is a long journey, one I’ve been on for more then 30 years. It’s a long process. I’ve been free for a long time. Now however, that freedom encompasses more. Have a great Sunday! xo

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      1. I completely understand! 💚I’ve been on that journey for a long time and your writing resonates with me ♥️👏🏻 It’s in the writing of others I see myself even more clearer. Thank you! Have a wonderful Sunday! ❣️

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      2. Good for you! You are giving yourself the Gift of Life! And I so do agree with you that within some writing, those who are on a similar journey, we see things even more clearly. I’m so very happy for you and proud as well. I know how difficult a journey this is. I’ll be over to your place later. My “friends” know I always do this ….. For now however, I’m getting ready to go to a forest with my cameras. Much love to you!! xo

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      4. You are welcome. The forest is where I find my Zone, talk to God, meet with God, and walk Sacred Ground. This is where my Soul gets refreshed and washed. (smile) xo

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    1. Thank you on my flowers, Gigi. And good for you for telling others what you do. That shows what a strong person you are. YAY for you! Hope your Sunday is going well today! xo

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  9. Wonderful colors AR….I wish mine would poke their heads up and say hello! I think a great many people are learning lessons these days and if they aren’t, they should be! We all have a lot to learn especially after being brainwashed our whole lives and being taught not to think for ourselves! It is time to get back to thinking for ourselves. Glad all is going well for you. With spring on the way how could it not? Enjoy the day! Hugs and love…VK ❤

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    1. My crocuses have been stunning, VK. Soon for you! I think a lot of people are learning lessons too. We’ve all been driven so hard and so fast that all of us at times feel as if we are falling apart. I went to the forest today where I saw a lot of people. Perhaps this virus will encourage people to get back to Nature. I can at least hope so. Much love to you! xo

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      1. Yeah, I’m hoping this virus also teaches us that we are all one, all connected and we actually need each other…Crazy times. Glad you got out to the forest! Refreshing….Hugs..VK ❤

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      2. Right now, VK, this virus scare is pushing people even further away. I know myself I have become very germ conscious and deliberately don’t get too close to anyone. Is that nuts? However, this will pass. And yes that forest today was amazing and so refreshing. There were moments of such stillness and quiet in which I just stood there and drank it all in. OH how I needed that. I plan on getting in that forest more often. Ahhhhhhhh ……..

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    1. Thank you, Jet! Yes I was laying flat on the ground to be truthful with you. I had on very warm outer clothes and still I could feel that cold ground. Well worth it though. I’m thrilled you stopped by to see the magic in my gardens. xo

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    1. You’re not alone, Colleen. I’m getting better though. I’ve had years worth with one person until it got easy. Now however it seems my horizon is expanding. I just won’t let anyone degrade me or disrespect me. I’ve come too far and I respect myself just too darn much. I’ve paid my dues as I would say. (smile) Much love to you! xo

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    1. Thank you so much, Sue! Yes it seems I’ve gone another stair up on the self-respect ladder. It feels good. It also feels sad knowing I “may” no longer have someone I really love in my inner circle any more. I just will not allow disrespect anymore. And I won’t compromise who I am either. Much love to you!! xo

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      1. Good to know Amy. Sometimes we just need to be true to our selves. And others need to sometimes be made aware of how we feel.
        Often a wake up call, for them also to look in the mirror. 🙂🙄💕

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  13. Good for you. You have to enjoy life as you want to enjoy it without unwelcome behavior that compromises your self-respect and wellbeing.

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      1. Oh thanks, Tim! I have Crocuses all over the place this year. I have I think three different colors of purple, one lavender, and whites and yellows and oranges …. wow! They just popped all over the place this year. I think it has something to do with the organic fertilizer I put into my gardens last Fall. Makes a BIG difference or so it would seem. (smile)

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    2. Thank you, Tim. It gets tricky when you allow certain behavior because you really treasure a relationship. But when it begins to feel more like a compromise and being disrespected, nope, time for a change. Glad you could relate!!

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  14. Amazing photos, dear Amy 😀
    If we wish others to behave different to us, we need to start with ourselves. Others are reading, what we will accept and act on this.
    Self-respect is the way for us to find out, what we will live with and /or without.
    Wish you a beautiful day in photo land.
    Much love to you ❤

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    1. Yes, Irene, it always starts with us. If we do not learn how to love ourselves or respect ourselves, we will not attract those things into our life for we won’t recognize those things.
      I grew up learning nothing about respect. Nothing, Irene. I’ve had to start from scratch literally. I taught myself and it hasn’t been easy. I used to be a doormat but that is no longer true. I love me too much to allow anyone to show me disrespect.
      I had a very beautiful day in the forest. I took many pictures of birds and had adventures. My soul sighed and sighed and my spirit drank and drank. It was glorious!!
      Sending you much love and peace, dear friend. (((HUGS)))) xo

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      1. Good to hear, that you had a beautiful day in the forest, Amy.
        It is a lifelong work to learn and unlearn, what we early were told was the right to do and be.
        Today we are the one to decide, how we wish to live our lives and that is wonderful ❤

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  16. Be strong, Amy. You’re a dear, sweet lady and should never be anyone’s doormat. I’m glad you’re standing up for yourself, but if the other person can’t or won’t change, get out of the relationship. I’m here if you need me, and my phone number is still the same.

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    1. The other person I don’t think will change. I’m the one who has, CM. I will not allow anyone to mistreat me. I know what it is like to be busy, believe me. When someone calls me or texts me, I do answer them as quickly as I can …. not weeks later. Communication is key to have a healthy relationship. Just sending a quick text explaining circumstances as in not a good time for me to talk because …. I GET IT. Silence however and making me wait for a “talk”, no sorry. I won’t do it anymore. And that’s all that is to it.
      Thank you for the offer, CM. I am so touched. Bless you! (((HUGS)))! xo

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  18. These are very very nice pictures! Love the graciousness they present.

    Respect is very important that we should not hold for others but more important to ourselves as well. I would say it perhaps the most important thing for us to be together. The later may easily forgotten and out of balance sometimes.

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  19. I am so sorry your are going through this but it gives others, including myself, strength in similar situations. God bless you, sending you love, light and peace in this journey. Thank you for the beautiful photos.

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    1. Bless you for your empathy, Wendi. I look at this situation as an opportunity to grow. I’ve just gone another step in respecting myself more deeply. I’m no longer willing to compromise my integrity any longer. Have a great day today!! Much love to you! xo

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  20. Whoohoo Amy, go sunshine! 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
    Well done dear lady. It always brings us to a precipice, inducing so many fears. But as you have so clearly said, if we tolerate it we are being disrespectful to ourselves AND giving the other an acceptance to keep on doing their fears.
    If we calmly state how we are feeling because of those actions we are standing in our truth and it can be heard no other way because it is no longer coated with ‘our’ fears.
    Take a bow dear lady, the end result is like your pictures above…clear, beautiful and even project the love that it took to create them. (And they are absolutely amazing!!!)
    Very proud of you Amy, may that glow forever be a part of who you now are 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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    1. Bless you, Mark, for your huge pat on the back and your support regarding this.
      I’m firm about not playing into our fears. When hubby came home from grocery shopping today saying again meat shelves are empty in the store, I admit my heart rate increased and I felt fear. Immediately I began to deep breathe, talking to myself to comfort me and within minutes I was OK. I will NOT bend my knee to fear, dear friend.
      I am proud of me, Mark. This lesson was a long time coming, yet finally I found the ground to stand on to say uh-uh, no more. I deserve better.
      Much love to you on this new and glorious day!! xo

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  23. “I was taught to be a doormat as a child. That no longer holds true.” My parents taught me lack of self confidence and how to be constantly anxious about the future. They were “The Greatest Generation” in many ways, but their childcare strategies “sucked” as you Americans say, I believe.
    And stick up for yourself. You don’t have to be fierce, but a line has to be drawn somewhere.

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    1. We both grew up in a different era, John. I agree with you that my parents’ childcare strategies sucked. I’ve been battling low self-esteem all my life and finally of late, I’m pleased where I see myself standing. It’s been a very long journey. Bless you for your encouraging words! They are so appreciated!! xo

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  24. This resonates with me. I like your thoughts and agree with your conclusions. Respect yourself first, let others follow your example. Also, the colors of those crocuses are a welcome sight for my winter weary eyes. Thanks.

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    1. Thank you so much, Ally. I agree with you that the colors of these croci are drop dead gorgeous. They glow. They shout. They demand to be known.
      We all need to practice respect for one another. All of us deserve to be respected. Good to know you can relate. Beautiful!!

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    1. Aw, thank you, Scott!! This was a big win for me and in order for the other person to know I mean what I now say I’m staying firm by my decision. And another thank you on my photography. That ground was cold but whoa the results I obtained was so worth it!!

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    1. I’m still walking this one out, Miriam, regarding the person who this was written about. I’m on the “forgiveness” and letting go page. This one goes deep. Yet, my respect for myself I will no longer compromise!! Much love to you!! xo

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    1. Thank you, Andrew. This post was created from a very painful experience. Yet I am no longer willing to tolerate disrespect towards me or my family any longer.
      I just found out you have to have surgery. Your are now in my prayers. Please get well soon. This world would not be the same without your glorious poetry. BIG (((HUGS)))!!! xo

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  29. Amazing post, Amy!! ♥ This is one of the reasons I love you so much and enjoy reading all of your blogs. You share hard truths with wisdom and grace. You are 100% correct: you are worthy of respect in every possible manner. Long ago I heard a quote, “You teach people how to treat you,” and it deeply resonated with me. I was in a terribly toxic and abusive relationship that I had stayed in entirely too long. Seeing those words gave me permission to love and respect myself and expect better.

    I am glad that you are setting boundaries. It’s a healthy adjustment to make. I am sorry this relationship has gone the way it has, but I pray in time, it will heal and adjust to the new and improved people in it.

    Such an inspirational post, my friend. The photos and words combined tell a story of absolute beauty. God bless you sweet Amy. I pray you and yours are staying safe and well. 🤗

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    1. Aw, Holly, you’ve gone and put tears in my eyes. This was a very cherished relationship to me and to find out how I did that this person evidently didn’t feel as I do, that hurt. I’m slowly recovering, vacillating between anger and tears. I’m working on forgiving this person and then quietly shutting the door.
      This was a huge lesson for me. No matter who it is, no one deserves to be treated less then what that person deserves ….. love and respect and honor in good times and in BAD as well.
      I am SO touched by your words. To know I have inspired you touches my heart deeply. So much! I have set a lot of boundaries within the last few years especially, but now have gone even further.
      God bless you, dear sweet Holly! Please stay safe and sane during these very troubling times we are living in. I and my family are well. Our cats are picking up the general “energy” and we are doing our very best, at times failing, to stay as calm as possible. Sending my love to you! BIG HUGS!!! xoxoxoxo

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