I saw something that shocked me to my soul that screamed how very very precious life is, and how at any moment, life can cease. Remember this when you are with family and friends this Holiday Season who may not necessarily be your best buds or who may rub you all wrong. Could you this year swallow your pride, push aside your animosity, and reach out in love to your family? Why? Life can cease at any moment and to live with regret is a living hell.
Under all that hate or anger love will be seen for that person when you let go of the grudges or unforgiveness. Let’s say your reaching out is not met halfway or rejected. That’s OK. The whole point is for you to reach out. How it is received, that is not on you.
No this is not an easy thing to do. By far. It is easier to hold on to that resentment rather then let it go. Yet, when you do, if you do, you will have done a great and magnificent favor for you. In actuality, you will be freeing yourself from the prison of gloom.
This Christmas I am writing handwritten letters to all my siblings, telling them even though I am not in their lives, that I love them as my brother or sister, and that I carry no grudges in my heart against them. This will be my Christmas gift to my family. I am choosing to write letters because I express myself best most of the time by writing, especially when their are deep emotions involved. That, and I suspect if I did call, the phone probably would not be answered.
It is not up to me if my siblings accept my words or not. Those letters will also be very clear if they are unable to accept me for who I am and what I have chosen in my life as they have in past years, then just let me be. There are those in my family I prefer not to be in my life and that is the truth. I’m sure some of you can relate. Those letters will be written precisely for my benefit of letting go of any remaining “not of love” feelings I have toward my family.
Where is all this coming from, you may ask. I had an exceptionally emotional week. I witnessed on Monday a 20-year old boy die at the gym I attend. He died, from my educational guess, from a major myocardial infarction, or in other words, a massive heart attack with a hundred percent occlusion. In the time it took for him to slide to the floor after he sought a wall to collapse on, he was dead.
The emotions that whipped me over and over while EMT resuscitation was attempted devastated me. The shock was catastrophic. This boy had no pulse and that is how it remained regardless of the efforts made to save him. Still to this day those very emotions are driving home that life, no matter who you are, can be snuffed out without warning. It is precious and something to be cherished.
Before I am unable to do so, I am making sure I have no regrets. I thought I did not but I have been doing some deep inward digging this week. I am leaving no stone unturned as I make peace within myself with those who are called family. With a new clean slate, my forward motion will be so much more joyous and free!
Anyone care to join me?
Photography/ “The Most Precious Gift Of All” / Nov. 2019©AmyRose