For about a week, my sister and I had been playing phone tag. Very unusual for us because we do our darnedest to return voice messages with a prompt phone call.
We speak on a [gasp] landline phone, not a cell. My sister normally doesn’t turn her cell on so any texts I sent I knew would probably go unnoticed. I waited knowing there would come a day we’d talk.
Last Friday, my sister again called for the umpteenth time, leaving another message while I was out. Hubby listened to the message and relayed it.
“Your sister won’t be able to talk today because she is going to a ________ and a marriage counselor.” Why a blank? The moment I heard marriage counselor the “No way!” screaming in my head made me forget the first place he mentioned.
“WHAT!!!????”, this to Hubby. “That’s what she said. She’s going to a ______ and a marriage counselor.”
Again my brain refused to hear the first place with sole focus on that counselor word. I stood gawking at Hubby as if I had heard my sister was going to the moon.
This was absolutely not possible! Not the sister who has a husband who when gently nudged to sleep on his side due to his snoring, apologizes in his sleep mumbling, “I’m sorry, Honey.”
Anyone who has a husband who apologizes for snoring while asleep does not require marriage counseling. That’s all that is to that!
All that day, however, the thoughts in my head went into heated overdrive. “Do I even know my sister?” “Why wouldn’t she say anything to me that she is having problems?” “What is going on?” “This makes no sense.”
Finally I texted her Friday evening. That text said, “M, due to the bombshell you dropped on my answering machine, I honestly don’t know what to say.”
To my surprise, a text returned almost immediately. It read, “About what? What bomb did I drop? Hubby and I are at a marriage convention waiting for it to begin. I was just turning my phone off when your text came in.”
A convention!? Not counselor?
The rapid texts from me one after the other …..
Hubby told me marriage counselor! Sorry! That man does NOT hear right. I didn’t hear your message but received it secondhand.
Just told Hubby. He says sorry. No more secondhand messages from him.
I’M saying no more secondhand messages from him.
How did my man manage to get counselor from out of convention? The only thing these two words have in common are the letters C, O, N, E. Notice the word these letters spell.
Cone is a shape with a circular base ending in a point at the top. This word could very well explain that Hubby’s brain is restricted at the top, thereby grossly interfering with his interpretation of the English language as it was meant to be interpreted.
I do believe that is intelligent reasoning on my part.
As for you, Hubby, who I know is reading this, could you at least try to tune into 3D for a while and get out of your head? Your Dad was completely correct when he told you that you don’t listen. The next time you blame your “bad hearing” on why you didn’t hear what I said, I’ll remind you admitting to having selective hearing when you delivered
a bungled bombshell that was completely erroneous.
Photography/ “Bungled Bombshell”/ Sept. 2019©AmyRose Photography