Our precious Bella lost her fight to live at 8:30am on April 1st. Her little body finally gave out after many years of being unwell. Mom and Dad were right there with her as she passed. For hours afterwards, Mom, Dad and all her brothers and sisters were able to say goodbye. This death was difficult yes to witness, for she not only stroked but had a clonic-tonic seizure unable to breathe. Thank God she lost consciousness seconds after when disaster struck.
Before all this, Hubby and I worked around the clock for weeks on end, seeing how poorly our Bella was doing. At times both of us dropped from exhaustion yet we just didn’t stop. If there was any chance Bella could pull herself out of this downslide, we gave her every opportunity to do so. Bella had proven to us countless times she came back after a seemingly “oh oh this is it” Heart-in-our-throats event. Unfortunately, this time that was not Bella’s fate. This time she succumbed to go HOME.
With Bella’s passing, we were given the necessary time needed to properly let go and say our goodbyes. With euthanasia there is not enough time between death and the carrying of the body out the door minutes after the passing. We as parents require and deserve time to hold our babies, to cry, to mourn, to sing, to talk to them, and to then let them go. We spent almost 5 hours with her after her Heart ceased beating. We are so much more at Peace with Bella’s death then with any other of our babies’ deaths.
From now on, whether it is a natural death or if euthanasia must be employed, we will mourn properly until we are ready to go to a private crematorium of our choice. No more hurry hurry, rush rush, oh you don’t want to see this …. death is awful, something to avoid. No more someone pressuring us to leave or for someone to leave with our baby in a basket. Now we are doing this our way. Darn it, we are giving ourselves the time we need in order to let go someone who we Love with all of our Hearts.

And we also are making sure from now on, that our babies’ bodies are put into the crematorium oven. When we did leave our house Monday afternoon to go to the crematorium after hours of saying goodbye, we didn’t leave until we saw Bella gently placed inside the cremation kiln. You better believe it was hard to do. I didn’t want to let her out of my arms. She still smelled like my Bella as I kissed and kissed and kissed her, my tears falling on her precious face. And then, knowing I had to, I handed her over to the gentle-man who proceeded to start the cremation. Upon the closure of the crematory kiln door, we returned home.
This is our third baby loss in just four months. Both Hubby and I must focus on remaining steady and calm, because we have some pretty ill cats that must go in to see our new Vet. We are attempting to avoid the major grieving process of a loss our cat family exhibits that lasts approximately four to six weeks, for them to tolerate the stress of going to see the Vet.
We are celebrating Bella’s life. She lived a Beautiful life. She lived according to her. And her suffering and struggling are finally over. Yet, no matter that struggle, she never told me, “Mom, I’ve had enough.” In the end, she could barely walk, yet right up until moments before she was dying, she was eating, drinking, peeing and pooing. Where she got her strength from, I do not know. She actually emptied her bladder so there would be no mess. Yes, I believe Bella knew what was coming. Her parents, however, did not.
Bella Marie born October 29, 2001, died April 1, 2019
You are Loved Eternally, Bella Marie
~~~~~~~~
*Not sure if I can answer comments. I will not be blogging.*
Photography/ “Bella Marie”/ April 2019©AmyRose Photography
http://www.herladypinkrose.wordpress.com
No need to answer comments dear Amy.. I had to wipe tears away to begin typing. This brought so many memories back when we lost our beloved sweetpea of 21 yrs who fought back from a stroke to wait the return of our daughter whom she was totally bonded from a holiday, she then picked up for a week, until we had to make the choice.. Our vet was then very understanding and gave us all the time we needed to say our goodbyes.. But its so hard when they are your babies for such a long time…
You gave Bella the best possible life, and all her brothers and sisters whom you have cared for and loved with such compassion and dedication Amy..
Take your time to heal and grieve Amy..
Sending LOVE and Blessings dear friend.. ❤
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Sending condolence and love, Amy…
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My heart goes out of you. We lost our 14 year old cat in October. I still feel like I see him in all his favorite places. Seventeen years old is a very old lady…a testament to the love and care you gave her.
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No need to answer back Amy – sending much love and hugs to you and your previous family.
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Amy my dear, prayers and such warmth is sent to you and your husband. God comfort you both. 🙏
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A painful time. Like those who already commented, I’ve been there and am there with you now. Blessings.
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Amen. 💕💕
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❤ Love sent your way. We've talked so I will not say anything more… Hugs to you…VK
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Dear Amy, I send much love and good thoughts to you and your family❤️
A prayer for Bella❤️
Take care❤️
Hugs🦋
Bless you🙏🏻🦋
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Amy… It’s so tough losing a pet and you’ve lost 4 recently… RIP dear Bella Marie… ❤
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My heart is broken for you and yours, including the other babies. I’m so sorry Amy. She was a gorgeous and wonderful girl who was loved and cherished. I’m so, so sorry. ❤
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Sending you much love Amy… 😦 xxx
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So so sorry for your loss. I know my words can not help you, but I wish you and hubby find peace.
May Bella rest in painless peace. May her memory always live in your heart like a beacon of warm light.
HUGS
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I am deeply sorry………there are no words to take away your pain.
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I have just lost a dog that was very dear to me and I understand perfectly what you are feeling. My condolences to you and your family.
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I’m so sorry for your loss Amy. We will be praying for you all!
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I’m so sorry for your loss Amy. Thank you for sharing your experience and the loving images of Bella Marie. I found it comforting to hear how you and your husband did this in a way that worked best for you. Sending love! Cathy
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Amy, no need to reply to this comment as I know you’re still grieving. My sympathies on losing Bella. It’s always so very hard. We’ve been fortunate that the couple of times we’ve had to euthanize a pet, both vets allowed us to stay in the room as long as we needed to, even shutting the treatment room door so we could be alone with the dogs, even when it was after office hours. Both vets also have candles on the reception desk which they light during a pet’s passing to alert other patients’ owners. There also are separate exit doors than can be used so as to avoid seeing other cats and dogs. Despite every effort to ease the way, the process is still extremely stressful for everyone involved. I can understand why you prefer to keep your babies at home when their times come. Hugs, friend.
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I’m so sorry to read this sad and painful news about Bella. I hope you can cherish all the beautiful and warm memories of Bella in your hearts. My thoughts are with you, Amy. Sending you lot’s of strength and hugs.
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I am sorry for your loss, Amy. I know how much your furry family members mean to you. Sending you and your hubby lots of love and strength 💖
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So sorry to hear about yet another loss for you, Amy. How heartbreaking.
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Prayers and Deep thoughts. Much Love.
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Oh, I’m so sorry, Amy. You shared so much love here for your dear Bella. Best wishes to you both in this tender time, my friend.
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So sorry Amy!❤
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How very sad to lose a beloved pet. My condolences to you and your husband. I can understand how much you are grieving. Hugs to you, Amy
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Big hugs dear Amy, to you all, and with the love that she is now a part of ❤
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I’m sorry for your loss. ❤
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I’m so sorry. But please know that your words were an encouragement to me as we go through this with our sweet 22-year-old kitty, Smokey.
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My husband and I have gone through the death process too many times, as we take care of special needs cats. We have created within our home a sanctuary of sorts, for those furry angels who we rescued or who came to us when they were very ill. We Love and Loved every one as if they are/were are family. Please take my words very seriously when I stated that with Bella we took TIME to mourn, hours worth, and in doing so, for the first time ever, we achieved closure. With all the others, we were not given enough time and afterwards, we were just inconsolable. It took me weeks to get closure compared to this time around. The grieving process this time is so much easier and the Peace we both have is unlike any other we have experienced. Whether you decide euthanasia or your precious Smokey passes naturally, make sure you take enough time for you and your family with your baby AT HOME to let go. From now on, Hubby and I are insisting we keep our baby after death for as long as it takes, then we take that baby directly to the crematorium we have chosen.
My Heart so goes out to you, for I know and understand the bond of Love between you and Smokey. Please know how very lucky you are to have had Smokey for 22 years (WOW!). I really hope that this post made you and your family think how you are going to proceed when your baby passes. We as parents deserve the TIIME it takes for not only us to fully let go, but for our baby to fully let go. You are in my Heart and I pray that Smokey’s passing is painless and effortless. Much Love to you!!
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Thank you so much! We have been through this with two other cats (all of our cats have been rescue cats) and did not have time to mourn. We want this time to be different. I appreciate your blog post and your sweet comments. Much love to you, too!
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Sending you hugs, Amy. ‘Bella’ was an apt name for this beautiful soul. RIP, lovely girl. ❤
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I’m so sorry for you and your husband.
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my heart is with you and your husband in this painful period. Bella will stay in your heart for both of you. She is at peace now and looks down on you.
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Sending love and hugs to you dear Amy. Hope you and your husband can also take good care of yourselves too.
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My condolences. I’m sure we all go to a better place after we pass. A place of warm sun and slow mice.
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Love and prayers to you, Amy. ❤ I'm so sorry your heart is hurting. Thank you for sharing these beautiful photos of your sweet baby with us. ❤
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I am so sorry for you guys, Amy. I know what a terrible loss this was, but to have so many in such a short span, I can’t imagine. Stay strong. Hugs.
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No words Amy…I’ve come after a long time since my exams were going on….this is the post i saw immediately after logging in! my condolences….
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(((((Amy and loved ones)))))). 😔
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OH AMY! I cried right along with you. Precious Bella, what a loss. I am so sorry you have another dose of grief. That love, ah, that love. ❤ All the hugs, Amy. xo
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I’ve not been answering comments, Joey. I absolutely need to be in the Woods and in my gardens as much as possible. Bless you for your empathy! You really “get it” how precious and how much LOVE these “pet kids” of ours give us. I was SO touched by your words, dear friend. I’ll be OK. I’m doing much better this time around due to taking time to get closure, something we have never done. That however does not dismiss the Heart break. I could talk your ear off about Bella. She was just that special!! (((HUGS)))!!
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What a beautiful friend Bella clearly was, and a huge loss, I know! My heart goes out to you. 😢 Mary
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Oh my dear friend I’m so very sorry for you both .. it’s never easy losing our beloved pets. Thinking of you and hubby, sending love. RIP sweet Bella
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Thank you, dear friend. NO it is not easy loosing someone you Love. Our Bella was such a special Soul and she is missed. Yet I rejoice for her that she is now healed and running about. Bless you for your empathy. It is so appreciated, Julie. Much Love!! XO
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My heart-felt condolences, Amy. 😦
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