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Nemesis Farewell

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For my entire life, I wrestled with depression. I feared it, yes, you could say even hated it. I use the “hate” word very infrequently, yet in this case, it suffices to say, that is exactly how I felt.

A day dawned where I clearly “saw” how I was at war with depression. With my anger and hatred and fear, what I was actually doing (in retrospect) was attracting more of the very thing I detested and feared …. depression. Unconsciously, (unaware of) I was signaling to the Universe that with the attitude I was presenting, I wanted (indicating lack) to create more depression. From there I received an unfriendly dump back into the boiling depression pot.

In resisting something, that very something persists and plagues. Like energy attracts like energy. Thus, fear = fear. Anything born outside of the Realm of Love, is fear.

The day I no longer feared depression, changed my life forever. The fight with depression ceased. I accepted it and not only that, befriended it. Without hesitation, I consistently (without letup) showed the Universe I truly meant to change my life forged with new words, new thoughts, and new actions. (not easy!) You cannot cheat and pretend when it comes to something like this. Energy is energy and energy does not lie.

Since that Momentous Day, a Real Peace, a Joy, and a return or so it seems to my childlike glee, have been Gifted to me. What had followed me from my childhood no longer put quaking fear within my Heart. I found the courage to not only first see the Truth for what is was but then to move ahead to change that which was detrimental to my very Being.

As you can very well see in my gallery below, I really am having the time of my life out in the snow. That is not all either. Every single aspect of my life has been effected by this huge change, especially in areas of my life where struggle has been very evident. It seems as if by letting go of depression, I’ve welcomed a Spirit of Ease into my life. BIG SMILE!

Click on first image to enter gallery.

Welcome
to my New World
one in which I am free
to BE
exactly as I am
meant to BE
as I NOW feel
in my New World endless glee.

Photography/ “Nemesis Farewell”/ January 2019©AmyRose Photography
http://www.herladypinkrose.wordpress.com

91 thoughts on “Nemesis Farewell”

  3. Super photos AR…Don’t you just love the color blue the sky gets on a cold winter day? Vibrant! As for your words, very compelling indeed. I can relate to your journey deeply. It is amazing what happens when you stop allowing unwanted stuff into your life. It takes a great deal of constant awareness and action to shift thinking instantly when needed. We are creatures of habit so our old ways of thinking just easily slip into place and getting them out is real work but keeping them out is even more difficult. The payoff is huge. Change your thoughts change your life as they say…I’m thrilled for your outcome after a long battle. Your photography tells your story for it changes as you do for the better! Hugs…VK ❤

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    1. Thank you on my photos, VK!! I had so much fun that day as I walked in what seemed like Wonderland! Yes it is amazing what happens, especially those things that you just didn’t see coming, when you let go of something that is hurting you. Understand about creatures of habit. This is why it is so challenging to do the inner work we do. One day we had our hot water off for repair work. I cannot tell you how many times I went to turn the hot water faucet on just as I remembered … oops no hot water. We do things without even thinking about them because we are so used to doing them. When we change a pattern, we are reprograming our brains! That is powerful!! BIG (((HUGS)))!!! and Much LOVE to you!! 💞💞💞

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      1. Yep…What you describe is exactly why change is so difficult…If we don’t stay on top of our thoughts at any given moment, we can slip away into the dark recesses of what is familiar again. It is an ongoing process to get to where new thinking becomes automatic just like the old. It takes constant work and even then we slip off the tracks and have to get back on. No big deal because we are now awake and aware and paying attention. We just have to have the discipline and desire to stay on top of it all….Good for you AR !!! Love your way…VK ,3

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  4. your pictures are always so beautiful.
    Regarding your text, I agree and disagree.
    Okay; it is obvious that the joy brought joy, a smile a smile etc …
    But maybe there are people around us who would like so much out of their daily troubles and who can not (not their fault but they just need a little something – according to their needs – but who does not come , that the administration and no one else gives them) and without this little VITAL something they miss they can not like you did … move forward and leave behind what prevents them from moving forward (since it’s this little something vitakl that they miss)
    And personally, I could not tell them … you’ll have better days

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    1. Yoshimi, it took me over 60 years to get to this point. Something of this magnitude can only happen when the person is ready. It is a process. I just didn’t wake up one day and decide to let go of depression. I had to see many things first, experience many things first, and finally get to a place in my life, that I was ready to face my nemesis. Not everyone can do this. This is my personal journey, one that I am sharing with Faith that there will be those who read my words who understand and therefore are encouraged in their own Walk.

      I feel your “pain”. Yet, some day, this pain may change. You might not see this now, but, when you really wish to change something in your life, it all depends on you. In the meantime, be Gentle with you. Find Tenderness towards yourself and know that where you are in life is exactly where you are meant to be. BIG (((HUGS))! I hope my words helped you. Much Love to you!! 💝💝💝

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  5. I relate wholeheartedly to letting go that catapults you into ‘heaven on Earth’ or NewEsrth as I like to say… as we can see from your delightful pictures❤️ much love and magnificence Amy😘 Barbara x

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    1. As you well know, Barbara, this “process” is far from easy and occurs over many years. And in order for this transformation to even happen, a lot of deep inward searching must take place and then a very firm and determined Mind to change that which no longer serves. Oh yes, when we do this, our entire life changes. I’m not surprised you can relate. Much Love to you, and welcome to the New Earth!! 💝

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      1. Yes for us it’s been a long road consciously observing our own behaviour… mainly because we were never taught otherwise and it has all been part of our human experience… now however new energy (that people like you and me created through our experience waking up) and our experience is here to help others transform most naturally and quicker… 💃🏼🌈🦋💥❤️

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      3. I’m following my Heart, Barbara. Those around me can either see my life as I live by example, or they can choose to ignore what I am doing. Bottom line, it is still the individual’s choice to change or not. I KNOW how “hard” I have worked and how insistent my Heart has been to create MY LIFE founded in Love. Years and years and years worth. This newfound freedom feels glorious!! 😘

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  7. Hey Amy! Your photos are singing!!! Amazing accomplishment about facing your depression and healing! It’s definitely not an easy thing to do as you said. I’ve just been through something similar too that triggers anger and hatred, then turns into shutdown. It’s a life-long pattern that I finally nailed this past weekend. The seed was betrayal and guilt. I congratulate you, things like this take lots of perseverance and commitment – your photos are a testament to your growth!! Much love, Donna

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    1. Oh wow, Donna! Thank you! Singing photographs? LOL I LOVE IT!! I am so so proud of you for what you shared with me. Gosh darn it, I KNOW how hard it is to let go of something that dug deep. How I wish I could really give you a HUG!!! Keep the Faith that YOU can do this, in order for your Real Self to emerge to be free to be YOU!! Much Love to you on this Great Day!! 💞💞💞

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    1. Rob, dear friend, this is a process, a very difficult one at that. You are brave for seeing and wanting change to come. When the Perfect Time comes for that to happen, it shall. Don’t wobble. Don’t second guess yourself. Stay strong and determined and one day, you will just do what I did when all the “building blocks” fell into place. It took me years to let go. These patterns are SO deep and boy do they do all they know how to stay. BIG (((HUGS)))!!! I am very proud of you for being on the Journey you are!! 💝💝💝

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    1. Your words touched me deeply and humbled me at the same time. If I don’t share what I am learning in my life so that others can also (hopefully) free themselves from what troubles them, what is the point of me changing and then hiding in a closet? I am honored I have inspired you. I’ve got a huge lump in my throat and very close to tears myself. BIG (((HUGS)))!! 💞💞💞

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  11. Your Images are very nice! I like what you have done with your Blog. Did not know you had struggled with Depression. I wish you well. I do have the same problem, but not all that bad. Medication everyday helps with it. Like you, I have been thru some bad downs in Life. Loosing my “little girl” was one of them, and still is. Wishing you well.

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    1. Thank you, Les, regarding my New World photographs! And another thank you on my theme for my blog that I now have.

      Depression is something I normally do not talk about. In fact, I was taught not to talk about it. But now as is very evident I am talking about it!

      I’m happy for you that medication works. Everyone must find his or her way in order to feel good. That way is different for everyone.

      Truly my Heart hurts when you wrote about your “little girl”. I am so so sorry for your loss, Les. Some things in life we just do not ever recover from. BIG (((HUGS)))! 💞

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      1. Thanks, AmyRose. My Daughter has been gone from me for over 30 yrs. I have much heartache about this for years! It’s something that I don’t Blog about because I’m not much of one to tell people about my Personnel Life. Maybe I should? I tend to think that people out there would care less. Don’t really know that. Even though she’s 45 now, she is and always be my “little girl”.

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      2. Like I said, Les, there are some things in life we just do not ever get over. In my experience, it helps to talk about what hurts only to those you trust explicitly. Listen to your Heart if you are thinking about talking about your daughter on your blog. You may be surprised how many people you touch IF that is the direction you are guided to go into. Of course she will always be your little girl. Loosing a child is a nightmare even if it did happen many years ago. You still feel that loss. (((HUGS)))!!

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  12. Pingback: Nemesis Farewell – Timeless Wisdoms

  14. Exactly Amy, I have discovered and written about acceptance in order to move forward. As you and I have had similar problems with chronic back pain. I hate it but by accepting it and where I am in life brings me peace and joy.

    It’s like telling that negative energy that it doesn’t define you nor will you allow it to rob you of the greatest treasure, peace, joy, love and abundance.

    Great post my dear. 😁💛

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    1. Applauding Emma!!! Good for you! Oh no the negatives do not define me not by a long shot but they definitely are a part of my entire essence of who I am. Without that pain in my life, I would not have much of the wisdom and empathic compassion I now have. I accept it as is and IF it is meant to go it shall.

      I’ve worked really hard to get where I am today as have you. I’m really happy for you! The only way we can reap the Joy and Love and Abundance is by getting rid first of the garbage that is clogging the space of who we are. FYI …. That defines my journey presently as I prepare myself for my future success with my photography. All in its good time. I aim to attract only those who shall cherish what is mine to give and that, dear friend, is exactly what shall happen. Much Love to you! 💝

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  15. So beautifully share AmyRose. I love that your photos seem to reflect that feeling of letting things be what they are. So wonderful to know you have found peace! I love knowing this! Blessings and love to you ❤

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    1. I am very fond of the saying … as within so without. In other words what is inside reflects what is inside. I was in such wonder at the beauty that I was surrounded with, MM! Everything so pristine and sprinkled with white snow. I felt as if I were walking in a fairy tale. And so every image I took captured that magical essence I was experiencing. Yes yes I have found Peace ….. It will be interesting to see where this leads. My attention was brought to a post just today (no coincidence!) I wrote 1 year ago about fear that mirrors this post flawlessly. The pattern is set …. now to see what unfolds. Much Love to you!! 💞💞💞

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    1. Dan, a compliment coming from you who in my opinion, who is such an accomplished writer, means the world to me. Thank you. This post is based on over 40 years of life experience. And I also thank you on the compliment about my pictures. That day was truly magical!! ☃️

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      2. That, dear friend, seems a consistent pattern in my life as I unravel the whys behind circumstances, persistent to understand how to change something I don’t like. And so I do. (smile)

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  17. Well done Amy, it is a very big journey my friend to find that treasure trove waiting within, a life lesson with triple A+’s from the teacher. And a lovely white, smooth life to follow like those beautiful patches in your photo’s where no one has trod yet and you can see the slightest indent from nature 😀
    Mind you, the odd snow plough will come along to ‘test’ your smoothness occasionally 😀 ❤

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    1. Thank you, Mark! Yes it is a very big journey probably the biggest thus far! The lightness I feel projects me straight into a world of pure delight. Oh for the JOY! And as for that day out in the snow, the Beauty of it all had my mouth hanging open for real in absolute amazement. Talk about Wonderland. Magic. Wow! And as for your last sentence …. I’m just not even going to comment on it for now …. Now I am celebrating this Moment for all the years I suffered to bring me to this Glorious Spot. So Much Love to you, dear friend!! 🌹

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      1. It is just to show you how far you have travelled dear lady…and the fact that those ‘moments’ no longer matter, your heart is now in another place 😀 ❤

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    1. Thank you, Eliza! It took up to 60 years to do this, but! I did it. And the lightness I am experiencing ….. just getting down on the floor with my cats brings helpless giggles to me. SO much happiness from within just bubbling up …. 😁

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  20. I agreed. Once you accept things as they are, I think you feel much better. You have stopped creating frictions or resistances against them. I am happy to hear! Those gorgeous pictures are great for this post!

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    1. Aw, thank you so much, YellowCable. And it really brings so much happiness to my Heart knowing you understand the concept of letting things go, which is no always easy to do. I hope you have a really nice evening. 💝

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    1. Aw, thank you, Jodi. I’m not quite sure how I actually arrived here in my New World, yet every fiber of my being vibrates with a new awareness, one that is founded in Joy. I hope this post gave you something to apply to your own life. Much Love to you! 😘

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    1. John, for the first time in my life I really am enjoying Winter. Oh yes I do look forward to Spring, but for right now this change of “pace” is nice. ❄️❄️❄️

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    1. Thank you, Phoenix. This was a long process and when it was meant to manifest, it did. I feel as though I have really and truly walked into another world. Much Love back to you in return!! 💞💞💞

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  25. Amazing winter photos, all look so beautiful and peaceful, Amy 😀

    I’m happy to read, that you are, where you are now in your journey. To suffer with Depression is like being forced to take the choice about either living or not. Have been there for years and remember clearly that time.
    To let go is a long process and very personal and not just an easy thing to do.

    Wish that you and your family will stay warm and cozy and send you much love, dear friend ❤

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    1. Thank you, Irene, so very much! I’ve been having so much fun, finding so much JOY this Winter! I had no idea how much depression was blocking my own Joy. This was a long process until very quietly one day arrived where I understood if I am to let go that which has plagued me all my life, I just had to stop fighting it. Wishing you and your family much Love!!! 💝

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  26. What a beautiful and inspiring post, Amy. I’ve seen this shift work in my life and in the lives of others. It feels nonsensical and like a paradox, but it works. I too have subconsciously hung onto pain in my life, for decades, and one day had an epiphany that “let it go.” That honest act created a lot of space for a more joyful presence in the now. Beautiful photos and wonderful share. 🙂

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    1. How many ways do I know to say thank you, Wallace? Bless you from the bottom of my Heart for saying what you did. Yes this concept is very ironic, isn’t it? Until we can see we actually are our own worse enemies, nothing much will change. I live by honesty, as best I can and know how to. I understand how long something like this takes, for as with you, it has taken decades for me to arrive at the place I am today. Oh for the JOY, right? May you have Much Love today!! 💞💞💞

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  28. Exquisite photos, Amy. I love hearing stories like yours, about those incredible breakthroughs that come after doing the hard work, digging deep, and finding the key that unlocks a person’s individual prison: “I accepted it and not only that, befriended it.” YES. So many “spiritual”/self-help gurus/books, etc focus on denying the darkness, when it’s the very place we need to go to find answers. And we can only do it ourselves: peel away the layers in the order they need to peeled away, which is different for everyone. I’ll never forget the day my depression left for good. An event that I wake up thankful for every day.

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    1. Thank you, Julie, regarding my images!!! You and I are in similar places! I am SO happy for you! I know the complete JOY and Wonder I am experiencing, for it is like walking in another entire world all together. To let depression go when for over 60 years I contended with it …. tears and goosebumps. It takes a LOT of work (years worth as you know) to keep picking away to get to the core of the issue. In looking back on some of my writing, I can see the pattern in which I did just that. Life is fascinating is it not? May you dance today and feel the LIGHT that now is available to you all because you let go a huge chunk of something that was blocking the Light. Brava!!! I am SO proud of you! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

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      1. Yes, my dear, life is endlessly fascinating for those who explore its mystery. I’m so proud of you, too💖🌈🧚🏻‍♀️

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  30. It’s similar with me and my anxiety. Sorta hug it about me and get comfortable in it like it’s an old familiar blanket and it’s not near the problem it was because I no longer fear the anxiety itself. Fear is the opposite of love, they say. Anxiety is a part of me, and I must love it as much as any other bit. Very glad you’re feeling a lift and a smile.
    Gorgeous, gorgeous photos!

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    1. Lots of creations can and do arise out of our “dark sides”, Joey. The relief I feel and the JOY that has bloomed since I let go of depression, is difficult for me to describe. I’ve literally walked into another world. Over time with practice, my “anxiety issues” I hope to put at rest as well. That’s a tough call though especially when my cats take a turn for the worse and I’m besides myself as to what to do. Pretty darn difficult for me to stay calm, although what I portray to my cats (hopefully) is calm even though inward I’m quaking. Goes along with Motherhood I think. Thank you regarding my pictures. I actually compared what I was shooting last year at this time to what I am doing now and the huge improvement I’ve made stuns me. Wow! Happy Weekend!!! 💞

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    1. Thank you. There is no “hope” about this. That one little word indicates the possibility of the other shoe about to drop. Nope. I have let go of my depression and that is the way it shall stay. Every day I am aware of the Gift I have been given and I rejoice!! Happy Weekend!! 💝

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    1. Thank you SO very much, Cheryl. I cherish comments like this for it only encourages me to keep on walking in the direction I have been. Bless you!! May you know Love today! Happy Sunday! 💖

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  37. I am really glad you were to cope with your depression. One of my friends has depression, and she has found some practical information that has helped her. Can I share it with you?

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    1. I do appreciate your offer but I really do have, for me, found ways to alleviate and to live with depression. In times of great pain and sorrow, depression does come to see me again and I do not push it away, for it has its own purpose. One of the steps of grieving is depression. Depends on how you look at things and also how you cope with depression (in that for example you don’t stay there) depression can actually benefit your life. Recognizing and accepting that I do live with depression, I come to understand the healthy ways in which to uplift myself from out of it. Just of this very writing, I am presently emerging from depression after the death of one of our precious cats. It takes about 4-5 weeks for me to again feel happiness …. I’ve learned NOT to stay in that state.

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