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Above And Beyond

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When you Love someone

 

with Body, Heart, and Soul

 

you care for that Loved One

 

when that One can no longer care for himself

 

praying as you do

 

 you stay standing beyond exhaustion

 

 you remain healthy despite great weight loss

 

and you are able to finish right to the very end

 

to see this Loved One off to the Better Land.
~~~~~~

 

Our gorgeous 12-year old Max gently floated to the Rainbow Bridge on Friday, November 30th after battling more then two years with a nightmare that viciously wasted his body away. He was far sicker then we knew, for our Max never whimpered, never showed me that he was in distress, and not once did he ever complain that Mommy was sloppy when she fed him. Yet I knew him to be very ill.

I have not ever worked so hard in my life in an attempt to help one of our cats turn around back towards health. I just did not quit. On the day I made the Mercy Call, I knew in my Heart that’s it. In his final week of life, Max lost 8 ounces of weight. That is extremely rapid and is a very bad sign.

I witnessed our Max leaving. His Soul quietly left with the administration of the first sedative injection and before the contents of the euthanasia syringe were emptied, Max’s breathing stilled. That told me instantly how near death he was. That was a shocker! Right up to the very end I did not know the “truth” about Max.

He was an Enigma from the very day he was born, a day I witnessed. On that day when he heard my voice for the first time, he tried to lift his heavy head towards my voice as if he recognized me. However, he elected not to reveal himself to me or anyone in this house all the years he was a part of this family. Yet, he told me he Loved me with his eyes. He flirted with me which I came to know as his “goo-goo eyes”.

This post’s pictures were taken two days before our Max passed. Look closely. The picture of Max shows a cat that doesn’t even look sick. Even being as close to death as he was on that day when I went to the park, he fooled me into thinking it was OK to leave our home for a couple of hours. God bless you, Max, for being such a Courageous Soul so that Mommy could be with her camera. I will never forget how brave and strong you were.

I know there is a part of Max in each of these images. My emotions were transferred to my camera. My Heart speaks for itself in each image.

*There are no goodbyes with Love. There is only “see you soon”.

Photography/ “Above And Beyond”/ December 2018©AmyRose
http://www.herladypinkrose.wordpress.com

112 thoughts on “Above And Beyond”

  3. Oh no, Amy. I am so sorry to read this on my first day back online. He looks very much like my Callie, a sweet little rescue baby that I saved from her soon to be annihilation several years ago. I passed her on to my grandchildren when they begged me to let them have her, and she was always in the arms of 14 year old Drew. She passed away 2 weeks ago, shortly after her “brother” Mayhem’s passing. Neither of them appeared to be in distress until a couple of months ago when they both began having neurological problems.
    Your tribute touched me deeply because I’ve spent many hours wiping the tears away for Callie and Mayhem’s loss but unable to talk about them before now. You are a special person and I am so blessed to call you a friend. Your Max was a beautiful baby, and so happy to have been one of your special babies. Love and blessings to you, Amy. ❤

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    1. I thought long and hard before I even wrote this, Angie, being that it is so close to Christmas. Yet Max so deserved a tribute from me and he got one. Perhaps one day I will understand his place in our lives but for now he is still an Enigma. I worked so hard when medicine gave me a diagnosis of cancer without any proof. I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I did everything and more to help Max. His little body was just too sick to come back to health. Now I have to recover and gain back the huge weight loss that occurred while taking care of Max and ALL the others as well. I also am so sorry for your loss. Loosing someone you Love no matter who, is a great tragedy. (((HUGS))) Amy

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      1. Thank you Amy. It sounds so harsh to say that no matter what or how much you do for a loved one is sometimes just never enough, but God had a plan for Max as well as for you, and it all comes to pass in His time. I put no trust in modern medicine now since I was once diagnosed with cancer also. I was also told almost 4 years ago that i had only a few weeks left to live.
        Admittedly. my health is not great, but I’ve now lived 65 years with MS actively invading my brain, something close to a record for me. I took their shots for a few months until they threw me into a heart attack. Now I take nothing and feel better than when taking their poisons. I firmly believe God still has something I am supposed to do before going home to Him but I sure wish I knew what it is so we could just get on with it! I’m tired. As for posting this so close to Christmas, we are born and we pass on no matter the season and there is something to learn about the process every time. I have been privileged in my life to be with people as they pass on by their own request. My work with Hospice was the most rewarding of my life and each time I held someone in my arms as they took that final breath was a gift from them, letting me know there is nothing to fear in death. It holds no fear for me because I’ve had my feet on the Rainbow Path myself, only to be jerked back by medical persons who try to out-guess God. It is difficult for the ones left behind to miss them, but what a lovely place to go for the one who passes. The Light is so mesmerizing and the flowers so beautiful — there are no words to describe it all and even if there were you would probably never hear them from my inadequate lips.
        You are a beautiful person Amy, beloved by God and your fellow man. Now it’s time to take care of you for as long as it takes to regain your own health and strength. Much love and many hugs! ❤ ((()))

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      2. Death is nothing to fear, I agree, Angie. It is the LOSS of someone I LOVE that tears me to pieces. Making that final decision holds a huge amount of responsibility, having the power of life and death in my hands. Max probably would have passed by himself that day or the next because he had begun Friday morning the “death breathing”. In my mind, he had gone through enough and so kept the appointment. His passing so fast in the fashion he did told me right there how close to death he was. Having a NDE I know that Max is really and I mean really in the Better Place. I also know there are no goodbyes. I will be seeing Max again. And all my other babies.

        Oh yes it is time for me to recoup. I thank God I have not collapsed. I am focusing on keeping my stress to a minimum and eating a lot to gain weight. As for medicine …. I stay as far away as possible from it. That goes for my cats as well. Much LOVE to you, dear friend! 💖

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  4. My condolences, Amy. Max’s story reminded me of Cissy, my late little princess. She was born with severe heart malformation, and we learnt about it only a couple of weeks after we got her home. The breeder where we had gotten her offered to take her back and give us another kitten, but I just couldn’t do that. The vet gave her a life expectancy of about a year… But she was a silent little warrior, and she died in my arms 4 and a half years later.

    *warm hugs* from freezingland xx

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    1. Bless you, Cyranny, for the condolences. Max too died in my arms as I sang him my “goodnight song” I sing every night to our cat family. He like Cissy was such a warrior, doing it in such a way that I didn’t even know the extent of it all until the very end. My Heart goes out to you for your loss of Cissy because my Heart surely knows the pain and heaviness of that loss. I also am so impressed by your decision in keeping Cissy. I would have done the same thing. Love trumps everything! BIG (((HUGS)))!!!! 💝💝💝

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      1. Thank you Amy 🙂 Although it was not by any means a happy moment, I am glad that Max left this world in your arms, listening to his mama’s voice. I think it is the ultimate gift of love we can give them, even if our heart breaks while feeling life leaving their frail body. It’s been a little over 3 years now, and I still tear up remembering Cissy’s last tremors as I caressed her head and promised it’d be over soon… *sigh*

        Big hugs right back 🙂 xx

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      2. I’m glad too, Cyranny, that Max left this world in my arms. Unfortunately I do not have the “luxury” of grieving for too long because I have so many others that require my help. Our 17-year old Bella may be sliding down for the last time and again I will have to call our Vet. Then Doodles. He is not eating properly …. and it goes on. These are only two I mentioned out of the 10 remaining babies we have. ALL have problems that need addressing. There are days that all of a sudden I’ll remember one of our babies that is gone and I’ll just crumble in tears. Again thank you so much for your support at this time of my life. 💞🐾💞

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    1. God bless you, Dr. Andrea, for your kind words to me. You have encouraged me hugely this Sunday morning to keep following my Heart in not only what I post here, but what I do within my life. Your blog inspires me so you see, we each are doing each other good to keep on walking our own Paths. BIG (((HUGS)))! Amy🌹

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      1. I love knowing my comments & my Dec 2 psychology post lifted you up! My favourite kind of domino effect. Sharing and caring. Making a difference. Just by being true to ourselves. And shining the light on each other. Shine on Amy Rose! Shine on! Andrea xo

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    1. Thank you, VK. Max deserved every word I wrote. I am staying centered and thank God I have not collapsed. The sun is finally shining today (at least it is now) so I do plan on going out for fresh air and a walk. I know where my “safe zone” is, dear friend. I have every Intention of being there as much as possible. That and gain weight. (((HUGS)))! 💞🐾🐾💞

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    1. Bless you, YellowCable, for the words you left for me to read. Max had a very very strong will not to show me how sick he really was. Even the in-home Vet commented on how strong-willed he is and how he didn’t even look ill except for extreme weight loss. Thank you for saying what you did. It meant a lot to me. (((HUGS)))! Amy

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    1. Yes, Gigi, this is a great loss. I have yet to understand Max’s purpose within this family structure but someday I have every faith I will. Bless you for your condolences. I know you get it. (((HUGS))) Amy

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    1. You are welcome, Catherine. Thank YOU for the blessings you are sending our way. Our family is in deep mourning, yet we all know Max is no longer suffering. Max was such a gorgeous cat and right to the very end, he never showed me how ill he was except for the extreme weight loss. Yes I really do Love my cats and go above and beyond what most people do. When I Love I Love with my whole being. BIG (((HUGS))) Amy 💞🐾💞

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  11. My heart is touched, dear Amy! He loved you so much it is plain to see. And I can hear the devotion in your words. So sad, yet so beautiful that love can exist in the world and it doesn’t need words!
    I think about you…and hope that you are well. I have been walking rough terrain…but I know LOVE…and that gets me through. I send so much light and love to you ❤ ❤

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    1. My Heart is touched by your kind and Loving words, Lorrie. Yes I am devoted to what I do in my life, committed to walk out to the very end with each and every baby who I consider to be family.

      Sorry to hear you are walking rough terrain. Hang on to Faith and Love and know even in the dark tunnel, there is Light at the end. Always. Yes Love does exist as this post proves. Love can and does get us through even when we don’t think we can take another step. Hang on until the end of the tunnel is seen. I send you Much Light and Love in return. Bless you and (((HUGS))! 💞🐾💞

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  14. Beautiful tribute to Max, Amy. God bless him – looking so handsome and strong only days before his passing. I didn’t know about the very special bond you had with him from his birth – what a blessing for the both of you! I know you do everything humanly possible for your kitty kids – and I am sure they each appreciate you! Much love, sorry for the loss of Max – Donna

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    1. Thank you, Donna! Yes, look at Max, how gorgeous he is in that picture. You would never even think he was sick. There is a lot I don’t talk about regarding my cats and our “history” because truthfully that is not what my blog is about. I don’t have time for another blog to dedicate to animals where I could be free to tell story upon unbelievable story I do have to share. I’ve known most of our cats since the day they were born.

      Your words mean a lot to me. Bless you from my Heart for them. Death is nothing to be afraid of. It is the pain of loss no one looks forward to. (((HUGS))) Amy 💞🐾💞

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    1. Bless you, Ana, for feeling the emotion in this post. I could not have Loved Max any more if he had been a human child. Thank you for the reblog. Your comment and what you did mean a lot to me! (((HUGS))) Amy 💞🐾💞

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  16. Pingback: Above And Beyond – Timeless Wisdoms

    1. Thank you from my Heart. Max deserved to be remembered. He gave me so much Love that it twists my Heart just thinking about it. Bless you for your words. 💞🐾💞

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    1. Thank you, CM. Yes Max was gorgeous and so quietly gentle. Perhaps one day I will understand Max cause if anything he today still to me is an Enigma. Bless you for your condolences. 💞🐾💞

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    1. Bless you, Michele, for your Lovingkindness and thank you for your condolences. I am thankful I was Max’s Mom too cuz his beginnings were not so good. I made sure he knew what Love truly is. (((HUGS))) 💞🐾💞

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    1. Bless you, Nico, for your Loving Condolences. Max deserved a post as beautiful as this. I Loved him so much and I know he Loved me with his entire being. Much Love to you! (((HUGS))) 💞🐾💞

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  22. Wonderful tribute to Max, Amy. It seems like you two were soulmates. You worked so hard to keep him healthy and with you for as long as possible. It’s always horrible when our little friends leave this world. I hope that you can take care of yourself and gain some of that weight back. Much love – Julie

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    1. What timing! I just finished up eating lunch with a BIG glass of whole milk when I saw your comment. Bless you, Julie, for these Heartfelt words. I’m not sure who Max is to be honest with you yet I know how hard I worked trying to save him because I Loved him with my entire being. A Peace Beyond Understanding is all around me right now, which I know that I know is Max’s doing. Max had such meager beginnings, beginnings that most likely contributed to the fact he died at such a young age. I’m so relieved for him that he is out of this world of pain and limitations and that now he is freely running through the Pastures of Pure Love.

      I am very focused on keeping my stress to a minimum, eating foods I know will put weight on me, and maintaining the Balance in this home where so many are grieving for Max (Max’s 10 brothers and sisters). Cats are extremely sensitive with emotions that perhaps go deeper then ours. Much Love to you, dear friend. I thank you from all of my Heart for taking the time not only to read my tribute to an amazing cat but to leave this comment. BIG (((HUGS))) 💞🐾💞

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    1. Bless you and thank you, Linda. Our Max was a very important part of our family. He deserved a post like this to remember him by. I really am deeply touched by your Loving concern. (((HUGS))) 💞🐾💞

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    1. Thank you, Eliza, so so much for your kind words. As I told our Vet no it does not get easier but seemingly harder. Bless you for seeing the Beauty of Max in my images. (((HUGS))) 💞🐾💞

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  30. Pingback: Above And Beyond — Petals Unfolding – Life Is Worship

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. I will have many that will meet me at the Rainbow Bridge. However, saying goodbye on this side of the Veil is never easy, even knowing this is just temporary. Love can be quite painful at times. 💞🐾💞

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    1. God Bless you, Olga. There was something so otherworldly beautiful about Max. I cannot remember him making any verbal communication (he was exceptionally quiet) yet the way he spoke with his eyes clutched my Heart and just did not let go. Thank you for the condolences. They mean so much to me!! (((HUGS)))!!!

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  37. Awww Amy, so sorry that you said farewell to your beloved Max.. What a beauty he was, showing you with those goo-goo eyes just how deeply his love for his benefactor surrogate mother was . I know there will be an empty space in your heart Amy..
    His love as your love will bind you together for all eternity..
    Those who love animals the way you do my dear friend, share unconditional love. And one day you will hear his gentle purrs again that I am certain..

    Love to you my friend ❤

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    1. Bless you, Sue, for your Love and Caring. Max was sick for a long time, but the last year of his life was especially intense. I lost a total of 8 pounds as I worked so hard to help him and keep all others well and stable. The only way I know of to deal with the crushing sadness is to grab my camera and to keep moving. This past week, on top of the exhaustion and brokenness, I had to run to help so many of our babies who fell ill because of loosing their beloved Max. Today finally they are all stable and therefore I will be going to a park. My camera is FOR REAL my therapist and healer.

      I could not Love these cats any more then if they were my human children. The loss is so great it is beyond defining. The knowledge that someday soon we all will be together brings great comfort to my Heart.

      Bless you for saying what you did. You have touched me today and for this I am truly grateful. I’ve gotten more support here at WP then in real life and for this means, I am so so grateful to have. Much Love to you, dear friend. 💞🐾🐾💞

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      1. I know how you feel Amy.. And Max knows you helped him all you could..
        My daughters aged cat only last month passed lost weight, appetite, like you she believes in alternatives and he bounced back for a time, Then curled up one night to go to his final resting place, Peaceful and without fuss.. His name was Merlin, and I did a portrait of him a few years ago, he was not all that well at the time of me doing this pastel drawing of him. But he had a strong spirit ..
        https://suedreamwalker.wordpress.com/2016/04/09/artcats-in-pastel/

        I know your Camera will bring you solace and be your comforter Amy… Nature and our Earth Mother is our greatest healer..
        Much love my dear friend ❤

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      2. That was the point Max was, Sue. Yet at the time I did not know it. I only realized in waiting for the Vet that his breathing had changed. Did I cheat him of his final victory? I pray I did not. I know for myself I was at the end of my rope. I couldn’t possibly take one more step and was resolved to see this right to the very end. His spirit passed with the first sedative injection and his breathing stopped quietly without a fuss, even before the entire contents of the euthanasia syringe were injected. When I witnessed this, I knew how much closer to death Max was then he led me to believe. As I said in the post, he was an Enigma from the very first day I knew him. And yes my camera is bringing me solace. I still have so many others to assist and take my word for it, many became ill over Max dying which left me running to help them, praying as I do that I have the knowledge to do so. ALL have been assisted and now I have to maintain a schedule with treatments in order to bring all smoothly back to Balance. Much Love to you! XOXO

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    1. Bless you for your Loving words. Max is so dearly missed by all in this home. Time will lessen the razor sharp pain that is in every Heart in this family. Oh yes, Max is running free now. I really do know. 💞🐾💞

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    1. Bless you, David. You know me so well. Yes this is how my Heart does heal by turning to my camera and Mother’s Gifts. Loosing someone I Love always rips me to pieces yet if I gave into that pain, I’d never survive it. I also can tell you that this pain I’ve recently suffered has enhanced my photography in ways I can’t describe. Incredible how that works. 💞🐾💞

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    1. Thank you, Julie, so much! Oh yes our Max is so missed in this house yet over time everything will once again calm down. All of us Loved this little guy! I know I fought long and hard to save him. Bless you for the Love!! (((HUGS))) 💞💞💞

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    1. Dearest Joey. You’ve brought tears to my eyes cuz I immediately felt your “Heart”. I know you understand how great a loss this is. Bless you from the bottom of my Heart and know that I am choosing to walk to the tune of Beauty and Joy despite the pain that rips me apart. Max, bless that little guy, is finally free of all the suffering he had while on this earth. Everyone in this house misses him and in fact, many of our cats got ill because of his death. And I know you would get that too … how everyone in a family is close! BIG (((HUGS))) for your empathy! Dang, I’m still tearing up! 💞🐾💞

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  42. I am so very sorry, Amy! Here you were offering your condolences to me whilst you had just lost your sweet, Max. 😥. I’ve never experienced life without a cat. I was born into a home with a cat and we’ve had cats ever since so I understand their quiet, companionship. Much love! ❤️

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    1. Oh, Honey! Bless your Heart! Yes we just lost our Max who I had been taking care of one-on-one for about the last year of his life. I watched as cancer slowly ate him alive. Between the intense Hospice care I gave him (I used to be an RN), taking care of all others in this house, and then running after he died when most of our babies got very ill due to his death, I’m taking a Holiday away from Christmas this year. Instead I am focusing on pulling myself back together and making sure this cat family is once again smoothly happy. We’re getting there. Anyone who has never had a cat doesn’t understand the close bond that can develop and the Love is just as real if that cat were human. Max was only 12 years old, so yes this was a big loss. When we took him in I knew from the very beginning he would have problems due to having a malnutritioned Queen as a Mom. We gave him a happy life and like I just said yesterday I have zero doubts I did my best, I gave everything I knew to give, and I not once stepped out of Love towards him, no matter how exhausted I was.

      Bless you for your caring words. They mean the world to me!! (((HUGS)))! 💞

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  43. Wonderful post! I am a cat person and I can relate. They are mystical creatures and they just know. I am sorry for your loss but didn’t Max and you have the best years together 🙂

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    1. Bless you for the words you left for me to read. Yes cats are mystical, Max much more so for it seemed he was not fully present in this place, having one paw here and another in the place Beyond. I’m comforted to know that no one would have taken better care of Max then I did. And I am comforted to know he no longer is dying of cancer. 💞🐾💞

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      1. Indeed Max was a lucky cat to have you and you were a happy soul to have him around 🙂 And honestly it is comfort in disguise to know that he will not have to suffer. That’s more painful.

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