What drama! The sort I could do without! This week has been one of those weeks that left me not even knowing my name. Or to the effects thereof.
Our 16-year old Bella had an episode late Monday which left her unable to walk correctly, staggering and actually dragging her legs. This episode was the worst one yet. She has had previous episodes and has been seen by our Vet for them. But by the time we got to our Vet, Bella was walking normally. Because she made a “liar” out of us, nothing was actively done.
Back to the present …..
By Tuesday of this week, she looked like she was dying. So much so, I called the in-home euthanasia Vet to make an appointment. She was unable to come that day, and that, my friends, is where this Miracle begins. Most of that day Bella presented with symptoms that screamed she was dying. I even saw the shadow of death in her eyes.
I cannot describe to you the depths of my emotions. Complete devastation!
By that evening, Bella was vastly improved. All I could keep saying was, “Oh my God, I don’t believe this!” as I witnessed a shocking transformation right in front of my eyes. I called the in-home euthanasia Vet, telling her the euthanasia was definitely off but would she still come to make an assessment. I was told she would come. Bless her!
I had no clue what was going on and let me tell you I was scared!
When I’m in a state of shock and “panic” my brain leaves me. I cannot think. I cannot remember. All there is, is shock and horror. Going from trying to wrap my head around Bella dying, then zinging in the polar opposite direction to the fact she was making a comeback leaves a person reeling!
My “guess” was a blood clot had been thrown which effected her rear legs. In the assessment the in-home Vet made, she agreed. She also saw by Bella’s last blood tests that her thyroid level was a little high. On the date when her thyroid level was a little high, all focus was directed to Bella’s heart where a murmur was detected. Our Vet recommended an ultrasound of her heart be done at another facility. Because Bella was asymptomatic (and still is!) and I believed that this test may do more harm then good. I did not go through with this test.
That visit unfortunately, threw me for a huge curve ball because now my focus was strictly on her heart. You hear “heart” and everything else seems to fall by the wayside.
We brought Bella in at that time because I suspected she was suffering from hyperthyroidism. Yet, when I heard “heart”, my brain focused on heart, leaving thyroid behind in the dust. The entire time between then and now, my focus has been on heart, constantly observing her for symptoms of heart disease. Looking back, I ask myself how could Bella’s high thyroid level have been overlooked by everyone involved, myself included?
Even when speaking with the in-home Vet, my memory of Bella showing thyroid symptoms still did not surface. See what happens when shock is involved? We took Bella in that very day to our regular Vet to get blood drawn, and sure enough she has hyperthyroidism.
Bella was so ill on Tuesday both hubby and I together firmly decided that Bella was truly dying. IF our in-home Vet had come Tuesday she would have seen what we did and she would have gone through with the euthanasia. Friends, I shake, literally shake as I write these words. Bella would not be here with us today if it were not for a difference of 24-hours that saved her life.
By the mercy of GOD ….
I am stunned, shocked, exhausted, and now my confidence in myself as a Caretaker, Medical Practitioner, the Constant Observer, Problem Solver, Researcher, Medical Questioner, Mom …. has been deeply effected by all this. I have been shaken to my Soul. I now question if I am “qualified” for the responsibility of taking care of these special needs cats. If I don’t address those doubts, I will be left paralyzed, useless to anyone.
This crisis tipped the scales for me. My “mind” truly is not capable of functioning the way I need it to, not yet, not after all the losses we have had recently. I depend on my brain to think clearly to know exactly what is happening and what to do. As this story shows, my brain is not functioning at 100% directly due to all I’ve been through with our latest losses. Without my brain, I am as they say up Sh*t Creek.
Hubby, Bless him, told me he was astounded by my actions, making sure all that needed to be done got done despite me being in shock. Thank you, Hubby!
I will get this family running smoothly again! As of yesterday it has begun. Now to get myself pulled back together!! And I will!! And I pray with All I AM that something this major will not ever happen again!
Photography/ “Drama!”/ March 2018©AmyRose