Patterns (2 IMAGES)

The deeply engrained
patterns that dictate
anger and cruelty
found buried
deep in psyche

will not change
until the one who 
gives life to dictators
 anger and cruelty
see and acknowledge
these tyrannical patterns
so evolvement can come.

When a child is taught to act cruelly and is surrounded by gross anger, fear, and pain, that child grows up not knowing what Love is.  I somehow knew how I was being treated and what I was being taught was so very wrong.

I withdrew into myself around the age of 8-years of age and became a keen observer of life,  knowing in my Heart somehow I would change.  I shut down.  I was repulsed by what was happening around me but I was powerless to stop any of it.  The hatred, the anger, the fear, the absence of Love were my painful reality.

(No special effects.  Wind created ripples on water.  Upper left is me on a bridge.)

Employing a survivor’s mechanism,
I know I dissociated.

How does a child that grows into adulthood, learn how to Love from a Heart that is full of gentleness and kindness when that Heart does not know these qualities?  How do the patterns of anger and cruelty stop?  And how do these patterns cease being attracted into my life?  So many questions surfaced.

I read everything I could get my hands on to expose the Light into a Mind that was filled with darkness.  Years and years I read and still I was blind.  I did not see the trash I held deep within me. Yet I knew it existed.  At least some of it.

Intention and Action began the process of healing to commence.

As I began to seek Guidance, one by one patterns emerged and with a deep breath I plunged ahead to change that pattern into something I had not known previously.  No idea what I was doing I stumbled.  I fumbled.  I fell.  And finally I did learn after many failed attempts how to change dysfunction into Love.

I was learning something that was not taught me.  Do you know how hard it is to actually change deeply engrained patterns that thrived in my psyche for years?  Are you aware of how tricky these patterns are and elusively slippery as all heck?  It takes a lot of determination and focused concentration to find those patterns, understand them, and then transmute them.

Time passed and as it did my Heart gradually became more open, more Loving, more gentle, and my voice and face were evidence of the kindness I had bequeathed upon myself. My face shows a softness and a glow today, a reflection of my Heart, that was not there in my younger years.

I am far from perfect, yet the difference between who I was as a youth and who I am today are as different from night to day.

Change can happen, as I attest to you it has happened to me.  However, do not “expect” anyone to change patterns themselves even if you stand on your head displaying kindness and Compassion to them.  You can do that all you want yet know this.  Until that person is ready and willing to change and walk away from deeply engrained dysfunctional patterns, nothing you say or do will change that person.  We are only responsible for change to happen within us.  That is as far as it goes.  And no further.

Photography/ “Patterns”/ November 2017©AmyRose

*The woman who inspired this post gave me a Great Blessing.  Thank you.*

Photo #1 taken at Reinstein Woods Nature Preserve Park, NY
Photo #2 taken at Como Lake Park, NY



42 thoughts on “Patterns (2 IMAGES)

  1. Beautiful photos Amy and they show us, that water (emotions) are moving all the time, just as we are able to, if we are open to see longer than to our own nose.

    You are doing so well and have got so much insight through the years, as I have known you. I can imagine, how hard work, this has been, dear friend.

    Much love to you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I just love your thoughts, Irene. Beautiful! It never dawned on me that water is emotion until you said it so I thank you for that. Yes I know yet I forgot. I was so focused on something else. Yes this self work has been difficult and at times nearly impossible yet I am just so determined to break the patterns that were instilled in me as a child. I also read your email and because there is so much to think about I’m taking my time in answering it. I so do appreciate you taking the time to write what you did. You are just so kind and I so humbly thank you. Big hugs to you this day, dear friend. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. (((HUGS))), Irene. Now off I go to continue Claire’s baby’s blanket. This one has been taking me quite a bit longer then the first one I made. Remind me not to do this pattern again any time soon. LOL Much LOVE to you, dear friend! 💞

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, thank you, Scott, for seeing that quality in me. It is so appreciative!! And yeah those colors are way cool, IMO. I could go on about how I shot these image and what I thought about them, but I’ll spare you. May you and yours have a great Thanksgiving!!! Peace to you! 🦃🕊💞


  2. We are all a spirit in progress, Amy. Some had a journey that was more challenging than others. Be proud of where you have arrived, and keep telling your truth. With much love to you on this Thanksgiving. Be well. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bless you, Van, from the bottom of my heart. Again you touched me deeply with your words. May you and all yours have a beautiful Thanksgiving tomorrow. All of us have much to be thankful for! Much love to you this day. 💕🦃💕

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Amy, you are right in what you say, We have to be willing to change that which we were, and no it is not an easy transition to make, when one is ingrained in such an upbringing..
    Which is why I often look at those who commit crimes against humanity, and see from a different perspective how their lives unfolded to bring them to that point..
    Where as we chose love..
    The choices are always there, Always ours to make.. And no amount of us trying to change another can alter them, unless they are willing themselves to change.. Spot on with your views Amy.

    Beautiful photos, Love the ripple effect.. May our Love continue to ripple out .. ❤ Love and Blessings xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My sight is about where yours is, Sue. I look past the “crime” to see the past or what life brought to this person. Yes we always have choices but many (too many) will not find the courage within (and yes it does take courage!) to change. Let’s face it. Change is scary. We all want familiarity even if it is dysfunctional. It’s easier to settle for what we learned then to push against the current to learn new. I also thank you about my photographs. I’ve really been noticing “new” and especially the rippled one I just about squealed with delight when I saw the Mirage in front of me. Catching me in the image was a bonus. LOL I was so focused on those ripples I didn’t “notice” me until after I shot the picture. Much Love and many Blessings to you! ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You put the biggest smile on my face, Sue, because … I look at what I am creating lately and I know I am improving and changing and getting better. Thank you SO much for this acknowledgement! This means the world to me and in turn has given me the confidence and JOY to continue experimenting with my whole Self and my camera. 👏🏼☺️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Keep on keeping on doing what you love Amy.. And its your LOVE that is shinning through your lens.. ❤ Hugs Enjoy your weekend.. See you when I return from my vacation xx Hugs


    1. I’m so very humbled by your words and I thank you from the bottom of my Heart. My goal is to inspire and to encourage others. This Healing Journey is very challenging so anything I can to to help others, is my Joy. Much Love and Happy Thanksgiving to you! 🦃💞


  4. Dear sweet Amy ❤ The chickadee in the story you told me the other day who landed on your mitten was there to give you a message. "Lady Amy," he chattered, "how happy I am to see You! Present here in your Beauty and Grace to live in Love as you were Born to Do. Love is your Birthright as it is for all of Creation. Thank you for finding it hidden beneath the pain and bringing it out to shine its Light into the world!! Bless you, Lady Amy. <3" The chickadee along with his bird friends knows the difficult and treacherous path human beings walk. They shake their heads in dismay at how many humans spend their lives trapped in the small space of pain, fear, and anger unable to see the glorious beauty they live in each day. He celebrates your efforts to make it this far and urges you to Keep The Faith! He has absolute confidence in you. He will be watching and cheering you on from his perch in the trees. 🙂 ❤ Love, hugs, and blessings for you on this bright and sunny fall day. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dearest Sarah, the moment I read your “Message” to me tears pricked my eyes. How absolutely sweet of you to say what you did. Love is our birthright but how many of us don’t know this due to our upbringing? My goal is to find all of me by the time my last breath is exhaled. The challenge lies in the fact you don’t see the dysfunction until something either triggers that aspect or you find yourself acting in ways that have you saying …. oh, I don’t like this at all. Bless you, Princess Sarah! Happy Thanksgiving to you, dear friend! 🦃💞

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your sweet wishes. 🙂 ❤ A Happy Thanksgiving to you! ❤ I am about to go to sleep so I can get up bright and early, bundle up, and see if any of our feathered friends want their portraits taken. 🙂 It will be cold and sunny. The birds like the sunshine just like I do and don't seem to mind the cold too much. I hope you have a peaceful and healing night's sleep and sweet dreams. ❤ ❤ ❤

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  5. Greetings AR…This moment in time is one of much needed change for the world yet we often hold back out of fear of one sort or the other. We are being greatly challenged to change as a whole society right now. Daily we are shown what is wrong, what needs fixing and hopefully one day soon we will come together and create that change. Until such time the best we can do is change ourselves within so we become the best that we can be. We are SO MUCH MORE than what we are showing the world. As with everything, timing matters. It will occur when it is meant to. Great pics AR…Happy Thanks giving to you….Hugs…VK ❤

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I absolutely believe so. That’s why those are the most compassionate people once they understand the misunderstanding which so many get trapped! Much love to you too, my dearest friend 💖

        Liked by 1 person

  6. This world is designed with much beauty Amy, as are the hearts that go through it 😀
    Perfection in its path, with those outcome that we have always sought…the happiness in the love that we find within ourselves ❤
    Your journey has touched and climbed many peaks my friend, and the view becomes clearer each day from each step that you take ❤
    Even the colors all around you will take on a new hue, like the beauty in that blue water in your bridge shadow shot. Always the shadows, but they have great purpose, they create the beauty in that balance that is in us all, as do your photo's ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You gave me “food” for thought, Mark. All is Light yet without the shadow no form would be. It takes a delicate balance and dance between the Light and the shadow to bring forth Creation from that of Love. The shadow serves many purposes as well. There are the growth Seasons, the rest Seasons, and the realization how deeply our Gratitude is held in our Hearts for Life of Light. Yes I have had many peaks and valleys especially of late. It makes for a reality that brings to mind, to hang on tight! I’m making great strides in my photography. I’m on a huge learning curve as well as “seeing” in a new way. May you be Blessed this day, dear friend. 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Intention and Action began the process of healing to commence. ….This sacred intention begins the journey of all the roller-coaster rides through it all, sometimes slippery, sometimes sticky …ripping off old patterns takes so much tenacity and endurance until the true essence of our being emerges – all kind gentle love – takes time to embrace it for self, diligence to embody it. I feel we are so blessed with the fact that the intention for this change existed in our being. You are so kind and courageous to share your journey, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Pragalbha, I could not begin to tell you why I am doing what I am, only that it is my Heart’s Desire to do so. I Intend to encourage others to find themselves no matter what it takes. I’ve had phases I honestly didn’t know me, and that is one very scary feeling when everything becomes surreal and uncertain. It takes time for new to settle in and sometimes during that settling in, I don’t feel like me. Nor does my life feel familiar either. So many changes hit me recently that I now am enforcing very positive and life giving measures to cement the changes in order for them to stay. This Healing Journey hurts too much at times. Yes it does take courage not only to walk it but to share it. Yet … this is the miracle. In sharing I become more self-confident, and stronger and more sure of who I am. It’s as though in giving I receive that and more in return. I am quite overjoyed getting to know you. You are quite the honorable and wise young woman. Namaste and thank you for being you! Much Love to you! 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I-Hear-Every-Single-Word-You-Say very very deep within. I feel very quiet and silent within reading your response, also content that you put this in words for me too. It is all a miracle indeed …can’t give back any hurts, the most treacherous ones too …as they brought the gifts of knowing what a miraculous life this is. Immense gratitude and love for you.


    1. Thank you, Edith. So much! I’ve been seeing differently lately which means more is popping out at me then before my Mom’s death, and I’m also experimenting with settings on my camera. I’ve been taking pictures only with a UV/Haze filter and to my surprise because I am getting to know my camera, I’m getting better pictures then ever before. Both of these images really tug at my Heart. I’m so glad they spoke to you. May you have a beautiful Thanksgiving this year! 🦃💞


    1. This is not easy to understand until we really see this within ourselves. I just am wrapping up a 3-month struggle in seeing truth in all the dysfunctional patterns that up close and personal are so hard to see. I will probably write about this but not right now. Much Love to you! 💕🎀💕

      Liked by 1 person

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