(Subject may be controversial or cause triggering for some of you. I’m using my beautiful photography for Balance in this post. All pictures are from my walk at Reinstein Woods Nature Preserve Park, NY on Saturday, 4, 2017.)
I was told by my doctor I had miscarried. Miserable and in pain I said, “But, I’m bleeding and in so much pain especially on my right side.” She turned her back to me in an angry huff, bent down reaching into a cabinet to pull something out, and threw that something at me as she straightened back up and turned around.
Looking at what now lay on my lap, was a packet of birth control pills. I was told to take these to get my menstrual cycle back to normal. In horror I looked at this woman whose face was contorted in an angry grimace. I could not believe what just happened or how she was treating me. She completely blew me off.
So ill, in so much pain, still bleeding, when I got home, I went to bed and stayed there. On the morning of the second day after the doctor’s appointment, I ruptured. What felt like a knife that sliced me from groin to chest, I immediately went into shock. The pain of that “knife” was not long withstanding, however, for when I went into shock I then felt nothing.
I managed somehow to call out to Hubby who was shaving in the bathroom, “Call an ambulance!” He took one look at me and ran. Sweat had begun to pour off of me making my nightgown and hair soaking wet in seconds. What I didn’t know then, I had suffered a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, a life-threatening situation. My doctor had misdiagnosed me.
An ambulance arrived. And on the way to the hospital, I died. Hubby told me afterward that he, who was in the front seat looked back at me and saw the EMT shaking his head, yelling to the driver to go faster.
Immediately and effortlessly, I left my body. In looking down I saw myself in that ambulance and wondered how I could see through the roof. Instantaneously, I also felt Love in every one of my billions of cells, (Yet, how could I because my body was down in the ambulance and I was out of my body?) and knew right then that I was Love and nothing but Love. In that same moment realization came as how heavy my body had been and how very very tired I had been. I seemed to float in this bubble of Unconditional Love and Perfect Peace. Never have I felt anything even close on this Earth as I did in those Ecstatic Moments.
Much of my experience has been wiped from my memory. Yet, this I do remember. I ended up in a “room” in front of these “aged” men in long flowing robes, all with these huge books in front of them stacked on this table formed in an arch about waist level, being about 2-3 feet wide. In other words this table looked like a big “U” with the ends of the “U” towards me. I stood in front of these men while all of them peered intently at the book each had and all agreed.
No, this was not my time to be there. I had to go back. My “mission” was yet to be complete.
NO! I didn’t want to go back! I pleaded that I just had to stay and that life was just too hard. Ignoring me, what seemed in another mere moment, I was slammed back into my body as the ambulance was turning into the hospital ER entrance. Hubby was screaming for me to hang on and that he Loved me. Returning I found out, was not as easy as leaving.
I managed to live through surgery even after loosing 6 pints of my blood. I could write a book all by itself about how that doctor treated me and how many years it took me to recover. But that is not important in this story.
While in this “heavenly place” I was told a couple of things to bring back with me. I was told not to go to my deathbed with unforgiveness on my Heart and to live my life from a state of Love. At that time my life was the furthest thing from living right but believe you me, I seriously began the long Journey of Forgiveness with those who had hurt me. The forgiving began with my Mother.
I was in Heaven for a few Moments, undeservedly so according to some “rules” of mankind. I will never forget this Event for as long as I live. For this reason, I am no longer afraid of death.
What I was given by while in that “heavenly place” I have applied to my life and will for the remainder of what is left of it. My NDE happened in 1984.
God is Love. Love is God. And when we live life from a state of Love, we mirror God. And if we mirror God who does that make us? That makes us unique, for not only do we maintain our individual characteristics but we also add those characteristics called God to us. That, dear friends, is a lot to wrap your head around. I know it is for me.
Photography/ “NDE”/ November 2017©AmyRose