What Is The Point? (9 IMAGES)

I’ve been thinking.  I mean really thinking.  I’ve had so much loss in my life and have been face down in the dirt and grime so many times during my life, that I’m really beginning to think, what’s the point?  What.  Is.  The.  Point?

What’s the point in Loving with all you’ve got, opening all of your Heart without reserve, giving everything you have and more, only to have the final outcome to be death?  No matter who you are on this Earth there is only one way in and one way out of here.

So what’s the point in striving to do your best, work until you drop hoping to make your mark on this world, Loving fiercely all the while, only for everything to come to a screeching halt when death comes along?  I mean.  Really.  What’s the point to this thing we call life?

Why are we even here?  Has anyone even stopped in the madness of life to even think, I’m talking think, why we are all here?  For what purpose?  If there is only birth, then time, then death, what is the Great Design in us being here at all?  What difference does it make what we do with time between birth and death?

Why should I keep on Loving and working until I drop when all I have to look forward to is death, just like anyone else?  Have any of you even stopped to think, I mean really think, what is the darn-gone purpose of even being here is?

And how are we supposed to get up every time we get knocked down hard enough to want to die in that moment, to only then drag ourselves up to again stand, and in so doing, dust us off to continue on Loving and Laughing and Doing?  I mean really.  What is the point to all this?  What does it all mean????

Now I know why people give up on living.  Now I know why many older folk have forgotten to smile.  Now I know why people decide to sit until death calls.  I mean really, what is the point of living with zeal when we keep on getting the stuffing kicked out of us?

I have no answers anymore.  My sense of having a stronghold on who I am and where I am and where I am going has all evaporated it seems.  And all I’m left lately is going through the motions and just wanting to say, “Enough.”  Why should I even bother to keep on giving Life my all when all I see ahead of me is death, not only for myself but for all of those I Love?

I used to say I have too much life to live yet.  Now I say I must finish what I started.  And then there is that question that keeps nagging me.  What is the purpose of any of us even being here?  What.  Is.  The.  Point?

Photography/ “What Is The Point?”/ October 2017©AmyRose
http://www.herladypinkrose.wordpress.com

🤔🍁🤔

131 thoughts on “What Is The Point? (9 IMAGES)

  1. Amy Rose, I am not sure of the point except to bring light and love to ourselves and to those around us. Your photographs are incredibly beautiful. Your prose is thought provoking and I have been in similar thinking at different points in my life as well. I am sending you a big heartfelt hug today. I hope it helps xo You are not alone.

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    1. I’m seeing the Light in spurts and beginning to feel “me” as well yet there are days when I get so slammed with the knowing of how I’ve suffered such huge losses recently. Thank you for appreciating my thought provoking post and yes there is a depth to my photography lately that even leaves me saying … oh wow, oh wow! I’m pouring my pain through my camera to capture Beauty. This is what I know what to do in times like these and so I do it. Bless you for reaching out to me. BIG HUGS in return!!! 💝

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      1. Bless you AmyRose as these are difficult times. I don’t know what you are enduring but I do know that in your pain, comes the most beautiful photos. Keep the faith and I will keep you in my prayers. You are not alone. We are all here for you. xoxo

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      2. To say the least I am reeling from first losing my best friend, a month later my mother, then three weeks later in a very traumatic way, one of our precious barn cats. All three were major losses for me which has kicked me out of commission and leaving me swirling in places I never dreamt were even real. One day finally recently I was starting to feel like myself and Bam about 3 days later I find myself back in a black hole. I’m having major ups and downs right now and really really questioning life. Yes my pain does come through my Photography in ways that leaves me stunned because as I have been known to do in the past I am transmuting my emotional pain and creating Beauty with it. I am keeping the faith as best as I can and even that I am questioning. 💕🌹💕

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      3. AmyRose, my heart is saddened for your recent traumatic losses. I cannot imagine how hard it is for you, but I will tell you that I see beauty coming through your pain that is exquisite. Hold on. Keep shining. Work though the grief and into the light. We are all here for you, to hold your hand and your heart. You are not alone xoxo

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    1. We were born knowing God because we are of God. My life is founded in God so this is not what this post is about. I am questioning WHY we are even here. Unfortunately it is our conditioning as a child that disconnects us from the effortless connection to Divinity all children have. I’ve just lost my Mom, my best friend, and one of my precious babies (cats) within less then 2 months. No wonder I am questioning things. 🤔

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      1. I too have lost my mother and it has been hard for me, but it takes time. You can never forget her or the memories you have had with her. I still dream my mom, and am thankful that at least I have her in my dreams because it feels, real. And you take beautiful photos 😍

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      2. I am transmitting my heart pain into Beauty through my photography. Even I am saying lately how stunned I am at what I see me create. And as I do Mother Nature takes my pain replacing it with peace. I am truly sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. God knows I feel as though a part of me has died along with her death. God be with you. 💖

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    1. Thank you, Andy, about my photography. I’ve gotten another depth to my images as I pour my grief through my camera to create Beauty. Even I lately am saying …. oh wow, just wow as I stare at what I have captured. Mother Nature is reaching out to me in ways that is allowing the overwhelming pain to melt away. And yeah, these questions are deep and very thought provoking. (((HUGS)) Amy🌹

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      1. By the way Amy, I was wondering if you had any opinions on a camera I am getting, I don’t have the budget for full size DSLR’s so I am going for something compact, In this case the Canon G7X Mark iii 🙂

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      2. Sorry, Andy, I don’t know anything about the camera you are talking about. However I do know about the Canon 6D which I use and I highly encourage you to look into this camera. I know all about budgets oh believe you me. Good luck!

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  2. “To live is to love”-Ghandi said that… Each and everyone of us has a purpose, yet, with it comes loss, pain, questioning… It will all work out in the end when all your answers will have an answer, if not, what a dissapointment then life has been ( at least for me). I know that you are strong and will endure. ❤️🌹 Solitaire

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    1. I usually am so busy living life fully and just so immersed in the NOW moment I don’t stop to question as I have here. It is the intensity of my triple losses that has me reeling some days, leaving me questioning. When so much has been torn away leaving such huge jagged gaps, of course I question. And with this line of questioning I examine my life. I know I will endure too, Solitaire. I’m a survivor! Much Love to you! 💝

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  3. I’ve often thought about it and my answer is: there is no point. Sad? Maybe . I consider myself lucky of having had the chance of making the incredibile experience of life and I no longer spend time about meanings and reasons.

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    1. Thank you, dear friend. I usually don’t stop to even think about what I’ve written here because I am just so immersed in living fully. The triple deaths I’ve just experienced have kicked me so hard leaving me asking really tough questions. I’m “thinking out loud” with this post. Once the acute pain of my losses simmer down I will get back into the art of living joyously. I’ve started to now, little spurts here and there and then I get slammed with just pure intensity of my sense of loss. When mired in deep loss one tends to question. (((HUGS))) Amy🌹

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    1. I know Love is the point, Joey. But I’m even going beyond that questioning why we are even here in the first place? It also seems my pain is being transferred through my camera to create Beauty beyond what I have previously. I’m taken aback at what I see I am creating. Much Love to you, dear friend! 💞

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    1. Ashley, there really are no answers because life itself is a mystery. But with this extremely huge hole in my heart from the major three losses I have had I really am asking some hard questions. As I do I examine my own life. Some days are harder than others and when I wrote this post yesterday it was a very very difficult day for me. Today I return to the forest and in so doing the pain that my heart feels will be lifted. This is all I know what to do and to keep on living my life with love in my heart on the occasions when pain is not ripping it apart. Much love to you this day. 💖🌹💖

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  4. Hello Amy,

    your pictures are beautiful and great. Great pictures with big questions. I believe that we are pure energy and energy never dies, right,it just change shapes. For about 100-120 years for now, all people who currently live in our great planet will be physically dead.But their energy will live.

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    1. Ben, thank you for your comment. I too know that we are all energy and everything that encompasses this Earth is pure energy. And you are absolutely correct energy doesn’t die it just changes form. Even knowing this I still question why we are even here in the first place. So much has been torn away from me at this time of my life that I really am asking some really hard questions regarding life itself. Much Love to you this day. 💖🌹💖

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      1. I also really thank you about the compliment regarding my photography. It seems I am pulling from out of myself another aspect which in of itself creates my art beyond what I have been doing. I am transmuting my pain into Beauty. It is very well evidence here in this post that I am doing that very thing as I take my camera with a broken heart to create Beauty. 🌹

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      2. You are so welcome Amy. I think we all have such dilemmas in our life. We are humans, and that is normal. One is sure, we know nothing. We have a lot of questions without answer. We need to channel our energy to explore ourselves. Stay blessed Amy

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      3. Good answer, Ben. And that is my Norm… Using my energy to explore myself and my life. What I have been given lately has really thrown me for a huge huge Loop. Bless you for reaching out to me today. 💕

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  5. Dear Amy, you are really on with the big questions today. Your photography becomes better and better, your forest is stunning and beautiful.
    Why do come here at all? As I see it, to learn about life here. What keep us alive can only be love, either for and/or by humans and animals. It is really many years ago, I came up with the same questions and after a while, I found these answers.
    Send you love and healing, dear friend ❤

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    1. Irene, to be truthful with you, I am stunned at my own photography. It is as though the excruciating pain that is deep within my heart is being transformed into great Beauty when I use my camera. I cannot explain what is happening but there is an extra Edge now to my work which really takes my breath away. And yes I really am asking some big questions. I do not expect any solid answers because let’s face it, life is a mystery and it always will be. But that does not stop me from asking anyways. That is just who I am. Much Love to you today, dear friend. 💕🌹💕

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  6. YOUR point, seems to me, to be to share the Light Beauty and Love you see and feel all around you. I know for myself, your gorgeous photography fills my world with visions I’d otherwise never see. for that, I thank you 🙂

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    1. Thank you, dear Morgan. I absolutely do know that one of my purposes is is to create Beauty from the Ultimate Artist that surrounds me every single day. That I do know. As for the rest I am not too sure right now because so much has been taken from me that my life just no longer feel like mine anymore. And because I have a very open mind and curious at that, I ask the hard questions. May you have a beautiful day this day. 💕🌹💕

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  7. Dear Amy, I had the same questions myself but I know there is a purpose. Life is not perfect because we humans are not perfect to start off with but we can give to life and ourselves the best ever possible by sharing (a smile, a penny, a hand). We can give courage to ourselves by stop feeling the pain and to say that enough is enough and I am walking henceforth on a rainbow. We can project to the world our love and compassion because as you know, what goes around comes around. We are all here to support you; reach out any time.

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    1. When I walk in the Flow I do not have these questions because I am so focused on living fully right in that moment. There are days however, that I still plunge into despair and the tears are many. It just seems my life is so full of pain and losses and disappointments and that no matter how many times I get up and I begin to walk strongly somehow I get hit again. I believe in remembering how to live life in love and in peace not according to this world but according to the Natural rule of All. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reaching out to me this day, a better day then when I wrote this post, thank goodness. I doubt if any of us will ever get the answers to the questions I asked within this post. Life is a mystery that I am sure of. The only thing I do know how to do is to follow my heart and to live fully in love by helping others that are in need of help, learning how to replace dysfunction with health, and to continually strive to improve myself and my life according to love. Bless you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness and for your caring. Much love to you this day. 💕🌹💕

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  8. Dear sweet Amy ❤ Beautiful photos! Thank you very much for sharing them. I feel like I've been for a reviving and inspiring walk in the woods! ❤ If you make the choice to keep your heart open and have faith (which I sincerely hope and pray you do!), on the other side of the muck and the despair, you will know the answer to your questions or at least part of the answer to your questions. Can I tell you what they will be in a way that you Know and Feel their Truth and find your Peace? Unfortunately, not. I wish I could. I don't think there are any shortcuts. This is your personal journey of discovery and you must find this Knowing in your own way and a way that makes sense to you. I could explain for you my answers to these questions. My answers may not be your answers, though. I don't often give advice. I can tell you what I have done to navigate through the times of despair. Let go of thinking and trying to understand. Yes. I know this is hard. Lots of praying. My prayers are simple ones along the lines of Please Help Me …. or Thank you….. over and over again. Lots of sunshine and fresh air. Patience and Stillness. Tricky ones. It can feel so hard to be still and quiet your mind when you are in pain. It feels like it will overwhelm and drown you. Be still and pray. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Breath. It is like ocean waves that come and go and there you still are a rock on the shore. A bit more worn down perhaps with features slightly different, but still there. You haven't drowned and what you see before you is glorious. So glorious that it makes my eyes fill with tears just thinking about it. I will be praying for your safe passage on this journey. ❤ May God Bless you and Keep you safe in His Love. ❤ ❤ ❤

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    1. Sarah, there is just so much that I would really like to say to you right now but I honestly don’t know where to start. Your wisdom boggles my mind and I know has been hard won because yes I have walked in that place more than once but this is the deepest and hardest one thus far. I asked to be shown why my mother acted a certain way and in some strange way that prayer was answered. There’s a family rumor that she was bipolar, untreated bipolar. The extreme mood swings would prove this was the truth. Lately I have had extreme ups and downs and when I am down it feels the most horrible state of being I have ever experienced. It’s so bad that I wish I was dead. I do believe that I am now experiencing these extreme dips as an answer to my prayer in understanding why my mother acted the way she did when I was a child. This thought came to me just today after I spent hours in a park with my camera putting me into a state of calm once again. Your prayers and your genuine sincere kindness and understanding puts tears in my eyes and gives me great Inner Strength to continue on this journey that is so difficult to be on. I did not answer you right away because I have been thinking all day about what you said and actually have reread several times your comment as well. Let us both pray that now that I have understanding via experience how my mother felt in the extreme dips down that these extreme dips will now cease, leaving me with peace. Thank you for walking this journey with me. I have come to really cherish you. And thank you for coming for a walk with me in that precious Forest that I love so much. It makes me so happy to know that you are there with me in spirit and when your physical eyes do gaze upon the beauty that we walked together in spirit, you bring great joy to my heart. Bless you from the bottom of my heart, dear sweet Sarah. So much LOVE to you. 💕🌹💕

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      1. I am happy to have met you, Amy, and that I get to share your walks in the woods and your company! ❤ It is a joy to see the woods through your photos and descriptions. I love the woods! One of my prayers often is to ask God to help me have Gracefulness in my relationships with others. This includes those who I have had relationships with in the past one way or another: family, personal, work or stranger. The answer for me always seems to be Compassion. Forgive them for they Know not what they do. Even in present circumstance with those who have difficulties with me, Compassion is the way I wish to go. Find my peace, love, comfort, strength, happiness and joy in living in my inner space with God and let that be the solidness that supports and comforts me. It really does feel solid and warm and filled with love. In my imagination, I see it as a big open space that is both dark and light. Picture the night's sky in the country with all the stars in the sky with the light around the horizon just before sunrise. The ground is dim and stretches for as far as my eye can see. In this space, I feel happy and contented and filled with joy and love. It is calm and full of solidness I can depend on. I found this space by praying and going through the pain to the other side. I see the pain and fear as a sticky web which used to encase me except for a few glimpses of light here and there. I am beyond thankful that I didn't give up hope and give in to the depression thoughts of "What is the point?" or the idea that pain and fear are all that exists. This is the madness induced by the depression that draws people to the edge. God and his angels were looking after me, it seems, because each time I have been close to the edge I pulled back. This last time, I walked through to find a way of being that can sustain me until it is my time to go. I ask for guidance and help constantly and I say thank you constantly. In spite of whatever pain or difficulties there are, this being alive is truly miraculous. Once I let go of those sticky webs of fear and pain, I could see this all day every day. And I know what these sticky webs look like and how they form. When I see one starting to grow or appear, I ask for help in letting it go. And Compassion is a key in this. Whatever someone did or does in relation to me that is painful I have no idea what is behind it. My mind might make up a story about it. That story might have included in the past anger that this person would act this way. But I know now that these are just stories. In reality, I have No idea what is behind another person's actions. There are millions of events that lead up to any single one. This is especially true if someone is acting unconsciously or if they have emotional or mental health issues they don't know about or don't know how to contend with. This doesn't mean I will participate with this person in their drama and bring the pain into my space. I can have Compassion for them and healthy boundaries. I didn't know how to have healthy boundaries for most of my life and this was a source of much heart ache and pain. I thought Compassion meant I didn't get to have boundaries – a misunderstanding on my part. You gave your Mother a graceful blessing by your wish to connect with her at the end of her life here on earth and following through with action. It was a second chance for both of you. Bless you for opening your heart to her and taking the chance! ❤ My wish and prayer for you is that you make it through this challenging time to a place which can sustain and support you with love and grace for the rest of your life here. ❤ One morning when I woke a little while ago, this phrase popped into my mind "This is the day the Lord has made. Rejoice and Be Thankful" My mind paraphrased a Psalm as its early morning greeting. 🙂 I try to greet each day this way. If I feel too tired or troubled to really mean it, then I practice the habit of pausing in prayer with a cup of tea or hot water and my eyes closed until I can get myself to the place where I can say it and mean it! 🙂 This morning, it hasn't been difficult. It is shaping up to be a gorgeous fall day. I will have my windows open letting in all the invigorating fresh air. I will be praying for you, sweet Amy. ❤ May God Bless you and Keep you safe in His Love. ❤ ❤ ❤

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      2. Sarah, the place you describe I recognize personally. That was the place I was in for many years, a place where I felt nothing could touch me. I walked around feeling as if I was touched by Bliss almost every single day. Everyday, Sarah, I felt Untouchable. Then Storm Knife in Noveber of 2014 happened and from there tragedy after tragedy after tragedy unfolded until they capitulated me to the present day, leaving me in a foreign place where I really don’t even recognize my own life anymore. It is no coincidence that that snow storms was called a Storm Knife. Think about it. What does a knife do but peel away or cut? It is what has been happening to me as with every tragedy more of my past has bubbled up or more of unhealed portions of myself have bubbled up for me to see so that I can heal them. There was still so much Darkness and unhealth Within Me that needed to be addressed. And it is being addressed by me in this present day. My goal is to get back into that place of Bliss, wiser, with a lot more growth, and a much different person than I was all those years ago. I do not say this to scare you in any way that this is going to happen to you too. I do not know this and so do not take it as this is your reality. This is my reality not yours. I hope you will read or have read the post that I published today with comments closed because I received answers very quietly this morning. The process began last evening within my words that I wrote to you regarding my mother. And now that I have had answers given to me I again move forward quickly and quietly. I hope you have a beautiful day today and I shall do the same. Much Love to you today. 💕🌹💕

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      3. Thank you, Sarah, for reading that post. You had a lot to do with what I wrote. How can I say thank you for just talking with me tgat connected something within me in order to see truth? I go today for another hike in the woods, today being exceptionally warm and sunny being that it is October here. So you will be coming along with me in the forest this day and a day come soon that your physical eyes will drink in what we together walked today. Great big hugs to you and so much love as well! 💖🌹🌺🌸💖

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      4. I am looking forward to seeing the photos from your hike today! Thank you for taking me along. 🙂 ❤ It has been a beautiful fall day here as well. I am happy my words helped you and even happier that you had a break through last night. ❤ Love and hugs to you. 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤

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      5. It is still beautiful here too, Sarah, although from what I hear cold is on its way. I put up a post today (with comments closed) with one of 192 pictures I shot. I could not stop. I was like an addict seeing one thing after another that just popped out at me. Even hubby got worried time-wise when I didn’t come home within my normal time limit. I lost track of all time and wandered in awe for more then 2 hours. OH how I needed that! More pics to come!!! YAY! 🍁

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      6. I saw the photo. 🙂 It is beautiful!! ❤ I am very much looking forward to seeing the other ones. I am happy to hear you went into the photographing zone. 🙂 It is a wonderful place to be. Love and blessings to you. ❤ ❤ ❤

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  9. I’m not sure if everything begins and ends here. But while I’m here, I want to experience as much of love and life that our time on Earth offers. Sure, there’s heartbreak and loss. But there’s joy and love, too. I’m hoping that there’s a time that the darkness passes eternally and that just the joy and love remain.

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    1. I feel the same way as you do, Rob. Yet here is a thought… Without the Dark Side Of Love, without the pain, how could we truly fully enjoy and appreciate the love… The light side of love? I am beginning to realize that through experiencing the dark Journeys that all of us dip into now and again, afterwards those experiences bring a deeper a much deeper appreciation of the smiles, of the simple joyous things in life, of the light side of love. May you know Love today, dear friend. 💕🌹💕

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  10. The point for me is to no matter how short or long your life may be…live your life in a way so those in the future can use it as an anchor to guide their own …love freely (my grandpa always shared that with me and his life was an inspiration to many)…and You always inspire my friend…the number of times you have risen above loss and adversity is beyond commendable…you are the anchor to many…and even death can’t take away that from a person…Much love and big hugs!

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    1. Dearest Neha you have brought such huge hope to my aching heart today it is hard for me to describe in words just how much! To even think that I am creating a path filled with inspirational bread crumbs for those who are willing to follow makes my heart jump for joy. Thank you so much for saying what you did to me today. I will never forget these words of yours for with them JOY and I mean real Joy again I feel in my heart. It just spurs me on to keep standing strong and to keep on listening to my heart in order to reach out to those who are ready for LOVE. Bless you from the bottom of my heart and may you have a glorious day today. 💕🌹💕

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      1. aww I simply said the truth, you are an inspiration, a symbol of courage and love 🙂 Lots of love and hugs ❤ ❤ Keep finding those little joys and may strength find you when you feel down as you continue to heal ❤ Have a wonderful and blessed day as well and thank you so much for your kind wishes!

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  11. Dear Amy, These are questions that man has been trying to answer for all time. It is the puzzle with no definitive answers, and the source of countless creations in beauty, art, philosophy, music and pretty much all earthly endeavors. It is the ultimate “Why”. And I don’t think we are meant to know the answer. For me, it is all about the search. We all bring beauty and meaning to our life in individual, personal ways. We reach out to others, and have no idea how we affect them, we just know it makes sense to do so.

    You are mired in a dark place right now, and you cannot see the light and love that you project to the world, but it is still there. Your words, your photography, the way you open your heart and let it pour out to the universe. That, to me, is more than enough purpose to one life. When this passes, and I believe it will, you will stop challenging, and shine in the way you always have. We’ll be here for you. We’ll watch it happen. With much love, Van.

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    1. Hi, Van. I’m so behind, don’t mind my lateness. I’ve been spending a lot of time in forests where I must be for now. Your comment makes so much sense to me and I arrived more or less to the same conclusion. Life is a mystery and we in all sorts of creative ways are here to remember we are Love and to Love. You are also right I will stop challenging and asking these kind of questions when the acuteness of this pain passes. The day I wrote this was a tough one for me. Yes I have gotten back up in the saddle but I have days it is just still so damned hard. Thank you SO much for your encouragement and your confirmation of what I do with my life. Many here “see” me while in “real” life many don’t. It matters not. I just keep on Loving and sharing and being True to myself and to those I Love. So much Love to you, dear friend! BIG (((HUGS))) Amy 💞

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  12. Having had a NDE, I no longer ask myself that question. I just look at each day like a miracle and take care of myself so that I am here to help others with their quest in life. Have a good day dear Amy! 🙂

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    1. Funny, dear friend, I had a NDE as well and still today because of so much loss I am asking these questions, answers of which there are as many as the number of people on this planet. I too am here to inspire and help others, those at least who are open to me. I will again look at each day as a miracle and in fact, I’ve had that experience in spurts here and there recently. As I said to someone lately it feels so good to begin to feel ME again. You have a good day too!! Much Love to you! 💞

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  13. Your photographs are gorgeous and there is not point to life. We aren’t supposed to leave our mark or anything else, we are simply here to experience what this place has to offer. What is offers is sometimes horrific, war, starvation, torture, and all the rest, but that doesn’t happen to everyone, it happens to those who came her to experience those things. Others come her to experience different things. Death takes physical love away from us and lets us experience new and difficult things. If you look at life as an experience, then each thing is just something to try out. I agree with you, sometimes it becomes too much and people leave of their own accord, others just wait to die. Disappointment, loss, lack, illness all play a part on getting some to leave. The catholic church made suicide a sin because so many people were killing themselves back then. Life was short and hard. If you look for answer to questions that have none you’ll just chase your tail. There are no questions and there are no answers, everything just is. It’s all a set up. Everything works AGAINST everything else…loving can lead to loss (unless you go first). Men and women made so differently that some of the things cannot be overcome. Nothing is easy, nothing fits together, it’s all struggle and bits of happiness, then things are taken away…our kids, husbands, friends, cats, dogs, everything can be taken away. And no one is important except to one or two others, including cats. There are no marks to leave, changes to make because the next generation has to re do everything so they can have their experiences. Yes, don’t do anything. Striving, unless you do it for yourself doesn’t mean anything. The only thing you can count on is change. This is a violent place. You can work for peace and get someone in the white house who destroys all of it in weeks. Nothing lasts. That’s what we’re supposed to learn. Enjoy what you can and do what you feel like doing. We don’t matter, except to a few. We are tiny, transient and unimportant. People die every second and the world only changes for a couple of people because of it. This is all to big to think in terms of personal loss. Everyone is walking their own path. Yes, life can kill off parts of us, no doubt about it, yes it can force us out of our pretend worlds, shatter our dreams and leave us gasping but then we simply experience what it feels like to be shattered and gasping, even if we don’t want to because life doesn’t care what we want, it just marches on. It’s kind of good that you’ve lost a lot of the beliefs you had because now you have room to see things in a different and while it seems impossibly hard, in the end, the change may open your eyes to new things. That doesn’t mean you’ll be happy, joyful, delighted, but, in my opinion thinking in circles never gets you anywhere. Anger works for me. I just look at life and say…”I’m so much tougher than you are and I can leave anytime I like, so you have no power over me. I’ll stay as long as I want to so F— off.” LOLOL That may not work for you. 🙂 Kick it’s ass. Everything is playing out the way it always does. I miss my son, husband, cats, dogs, nephews, friends but if that’s all I did I might as well be dead too. I learned things I never wanted to learn. I think this is a mean and hateful place, filled with beauty so we don’t all kill ourselves immediately. It amazes me what people can live through and my life is a piece of cake compared to theirs. Their lessons are too terrible to contemplate. We each have a map that belongs to us. People can get caught on a loop of the tiniest things and never live at all. I’ve see it happen. Our thoughts are not always our friends, they are hooked up to survival at all costs. We just have to distract ourselves until they go away. We can only be disappointed in others if they do do what we want them to do which is ridiculous. No one does what someone else wants them to do, kids teach you that in the first two seconds. The animals we adore have short life spans so that we can be tortured by their loss and so that we can give new cats a place in our hearts. It’s a beautiful, wonderful, dog eat dog, cruel and hateful world filled with violence, meanness and death. If we were smart, we would stop doing this to our children, but our brain chemistry insists, often against our will, that we reproduce because that’s what it does. So kids are born into poverty, die of starvation and yet, they keep being born. If your looking for something that makes sense you’re in the wrong place and family is just made up of different people that really have little to do with us or our lives, unless we let them. Most people I know don’t speak to other family members. My neighbor, who happens to be Jewish, said that the Rabbi told her that he has to do different services for each of the adult children, when a parent dies because they all hate each other and won’t be in the same room with each other. LOL Family. Most people i know don’t speak to their families, or at least some of them. Actually, I could almost say all families and if they do, they only do it because they feel they have to and resent it afterward. Life’s like that. It’s a test of endurance with teasing bouts of joy and delight, so that we don’t all jump off buildings. Hope is the thing that keeps people pretending. It’s a bad word. People hope when all is lost, or when there’s no chance of getting what they think they want. It’s all too insane. Just get up and see what happens next. If you’re living in the moment you can’t be thinking of the past or future, just the moment when the jam is melting into your toast, when the squirrel is outside waiting for peanuts…when you can see the world through a lens. That’s the real stuff, the other stuff just exists in your mind. Hope you feel better soon. You’ll probable feel different but that’s the way life is…change is always ready to do it’s job, one way or another. ❤

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    1. Gigi, you really need to write a book. I have read your comment so many times and each time I see something new. I really like what you said at the end. What really counts in essence is the NOW and the small things that most people overlook … a flower, a cloud, steam rising from a cup of coffee, and yes what I see through my lens is what is real to me. I still don’t know what I feel or quite know who I am but change is good. Otherwise we tend to loop, doing over and over again the same old. I have a habit of changing my routine so I don’t get stuck in a loop. Your words, dear friend, are powerful and I know you have tons more inside of you. I’m not too keen on this world per say so I’ve made my own little world, one that I feel comfortable in. Sending you BIG (((HUGS))) … and yes let’s both of us focus on the stuff that counts … not wishing what isn’t. I know you’ve written books already but I “feel” another one that is just screaming to be written. 🍷

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  14. However you believe or, even if you don’t believe in anything, the point is that we are on a journey. I for one don’t believe that death is an end, and therefore, this journey matters. It matters to me and it matters for those around me. I’ll work, in my own curious way, to share a hopeful message, to entertain and to seek beauty in the people and places I encounter. I hope you see how your contribution helps others get through their journey, and I wish you good luck on yours, Amy.

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    1. Dan, in saying that about death as I did I did not mean that was the end. I know there is life beyond death without a doubt in my mind. What I am questioning is for what purpose are we are here even in the first place. Everything in my life is so topsy-turvy, inside out, upside down, that nothing feels right anymore. My solid grip on my life according to who I am seems now missing as I struggle to figure out how to knit these great big huge open gaps in my life into a smooth ongoing canvas once again. I know there are no real answers to the really hard questions I asked here today. I have never been in this place that I am in today and by the grace of God I will survive this and I know deep in my heart that I also will have such great growth from out of this period of my life. When I wrote this post I was having an extremely hard day with the tears dripping off my chin just not understanding why this life must be accompanied with so much pain and loss. When you love deeply and fully and completely and when you lose that love it shatters you in so many ways in too many ways. Thank you for your comment adding your thoughts to my already very complex post. I hope you are having a wonderful day today, dear friend. 💕🌹💕

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  15. Noone really knows the answer Amy, but I believe that living in this body on this earth is a part of our journey, and it matters. What comes next will come next, but I don’t see it as the end.
    We all have gifts to bring and share during this life.
    Many of us face the depths, and then awaken to the realization that we are a part of something so much more than our separate small selves. I believe that this is our purpose. To wake up from the prison that has always kept us separate and fearful.
    We hold within us a divine spark that wants to shine and share its love with others.
    When we see this and start to live from a place of love, then we also see that we must detach ourselves from those who remain in their small reactive and judging selves. We must also let go of our own judging ego-driven way of thinking and acting, and trust that we are on our path.
    The path to enlightenment is never easy. There is a lot of letting go and re-structuring needed in how we learn to live free in the world. The first step is to be kind to yourself and nourish your precious being.
    💕

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    1. I could not agree with you more, Val, that this is not the end here in this reality. I apologize if that is what it sounded like what I meant. Oh I definitely know there is life beyond this reality but what I am questioning now is the why of all of it. I have been shaken so deeply that everything that I thought I knew I no longer know. Everything is jumbled and mumbled and scrambled and I am just trying to put back some pieces to make sense of it all again. I have never been in so much too much, in too short of a time snapped. I know these questions have been asked since time began and no one has the answer absolutely no one. I think that our answers change as our Journeys change and by God my journey has changed so much I don’t even recognize it anymore for what it is. Just the post previous to this one I told everyone I was back up in the saddle and moving forward. That is true. Yet I am having extremely challenging days where I am thrown in the pit of Hell itself questioning, crying out, feeling such pain and anguish that all I want to do is tear it out of me but I am unable to do so. I am up and then I am down. I am inside out and all pushed aside in a way as I said I don’t even recognize anymore. I love your thoughts in combination with mine and I will take time again to reread what you wrote here. Thank you for contributing to this most complex and very deep post. I have also been noticing that my photography has changed because I have changed and I always capture with my heart. I have just been asking as I am walking today if it takes pain and sorrow for me to improve upon myself as an artist, I don’t know if I want to do that anymore. The price is very high very high indeed. I choose happy, Val. Regardless of the circumstances I will find Happy. Big hugs and much LOVE to you. 💕🌹💕

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  16. It is taking you to that one and only place that we take with us when we go Amy…our hearts. All else is left behind because it has no meaning…but what is in that beautiful heart…is that meaning.
    It is painful, but without it we would be left ‘untouched’ and not understand those lovely places of happiness and joy unless we also touched the pain and sadness. It is in appreciating those good places much more because of what we have endured in the low places.
    Big hugs my friend, I know it is a hard, hard slog because of those losses from your life, but a new glow will take its place. It may feel like it is never arriving, but it will slowly embrace the love that you are becoming. It is that thing they call ‘time’, it is the healer of us all ❤

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    1. True. It is experiencing the ugly and the painful and the losses that we gain deeper appreciation and JOY for the beauty and the Love. Love has two sides to the coin. Yes even on the Dark side of Love it is still Love although many would disagree. All of us prefer the Light side of Love and to tell you true I look so forward to a nice steady dose of just that. BIG (((HUGS))) back to you, Mark. Thank you! 💞

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  17. You have a beautiful heart Amy, and that reflects in the gorgeous photographs.
    I remember a sense of calm underneath some of my most painful times and profound sorrowful state when nothing seemed to be wrong at that time. That helped me realize that the calm was due to choices that seemed true to me – they gave a deep joy despite the most painful circumstances. While the sorrowful states were because of me not choosing what was right or true for me. The purpose then I think is to keep finding what is our truth. The more we recognize our truth not related to or defined by others, closer we come to the joy of our own being. Joy is the primary purpose. That is how we gain access to the greater kind of Love, that keeps leading us to even more love, peace and joy. Doesn’t matter that we die anyway …that’s just why not to take our circumstances too seriously. It matters we live as joyfully as we can. And it takes courage, to stand up yet again, to love yourself. Life gave me these lessons very raw.

    I had written the following poem while feeling similar despair, as in your post. I hope you like it.
    https://pragalbhadoshi.wordpress.com/2016/09/05/the-oft-relentless-meloncholy/

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    1. I know you speak Truth and I thank you for that. I know my goal is JOY because I have attained that state and kept that state regardless of what the circumstances were around me. Yet I will not cheat myself of fully immersing me in the grieving process. There is great danger for me in doing this for I have wrestled with depression all of my life and if I stay immersed within this extreme sadness too long, I don’t want to re-emerge. It’s a careful Balancing act. I listen to my Heart and with great Strength from Within I literally push myself to move (when I feel the tentacles of depression gripping me), to go back to the Forest or to continue Fall cleaning. Life stops for no one but we all have choices how we wish to live that life. Countless times I have traveled through the grieving process but this one I admit is the hardest and deepest thus far. I read your poem and left a comment. You hit the nail right on the head and I thank you for sharing these words of yours with me. I am so grateful and very humbled by your show of Compassion for me. Bless you! 💞

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    1. I’m not sure who the “they” are who you are referring to but I can guess it is this world. How can anyone be impersonal about the death of someone you Loved with all of your Heart? I ask the hard questions, usually questions that really have no concrete answers to and answers that differ from one person to another. Thank you for leaving this comment, Cloud Walker. May you know Love this day! 💖

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  18. I always ask this very same question why are we here in the first place but I do not dwell it for too long. I also do not expect much in return when you give all you’ve got to do something good. The intent or the act of doing so is in of itself the reward. That is something you can keep looking back to those moments in life till the last breath. In my opinion, that last happy thought worth all the points.

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    1. I don’t dwell on these kind of questions long either, YellowCable, because I will not receive answers, at least the “real” answers that I would like to have. All I know how to do is to do my very best in this life, and to Love others and myself as well. I create a Life according to me and all who are in it benefit from it as well. I try not to expect anything in return when I give but I must admit when I am ignored too many times, it is time for me to move on from that person. I have a very large and giving Heart and for me true happiness is in giving. Yet it is only respectful to have appreciation for what I do. Thank you for your thoughts on this very complex and deep post. I hope you are having a good day today!!! 🦋

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  19. We each have our purpose and most go through life searching for it. I think we came from non-physical into physical to enjoy, learn, experience all that 3-D living entails, and send picture postcards with our minds back to non-physical for them to enjoy. And we’ll tell them all about it when we get back there. 😉 And wow, you’re sending some really awesome postcards, Amy! ❤

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    1. Eliza, I read your comment a while ago and just now am getting around to answer it. You got me thinking …. and this is what I have always “known” in my spirit …. One is not able to understand conceptual knowledge until that one experiences it in physical form. So yes we are sending postcards back to the spiritual realm to those who are again ready to take the plunge to experience this realm (I think). Thank you for saying I’m sending awesome postcards! I like to think that everything I see “they” see, everything I feel “they” feel, everything I speak they “hear”, everything I write “they” read. Just really gets you thinking, at least it does me. When life is seen from this perspective it becomes an adventure!!! 😉

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  20. I have had the same thoughts and have dwelled on them long whiles-I know less now than I ever did! I do not know if we are even meant to make sense of it-I just have faith we will understand when we meet God-hence I just do the best I can and try to love more and more-and give what I can. I try to help-you do all of this. If I ever figure it out-I will tell you! ha! Until then, Let us do our best-and love one another.

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    1. That’s the thing just as you say, Michele, we who seek Truth get to a place, admitting what we knew we no longer do. I don’t think we are meant to understand the meaning of Life, thus the mystery. I do what you do … my best. I also know that living with Love in our Hearts and to reach out to others with that Love is the Highest Calling any of us can have. Thank you for understanding, dear friend. I wrote this on a day that the pain was so intense all I wanted to do is to tear it out of me. (((HUGS))) Amy 💞

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  21. A thought provoking post dear Amy with many wonderful responses, thoughts and feelings. Give this process time, you are grieving for your loss of your mother, friend and loving pet. As they say time heals all wounds….. We all have different beliefs and outlooks on life and it’s purpose. I once read in one of my spiritual books that “We will never be given something that we cannot handle in life”. I must say, life can be though and cruel at times however, I also believe that we learn from the experience. So many lessons and such a short life…. What a journey! Embrace the journey there is light at the end of the tunnel (your camera lens) 🙂 🙂 ❤ <3. Sending healing thoughts and much love….. Milanka

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    1. Milanka, I too know within my Heart that I’m not given more then I can handle yet there are times I must question … are you sure??? And yes so many Lessons especially in the dark times to bring forward with us as we resolutely get closer to the light times again. My Light is the end of my camera and it always will be for there I see LOVE and the most perfect Artist there is. And then I share what I see here. Thank you for reaching out and leaving such a beautiful comment. Thank you! Much Love to you this day! 🤗

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  22. It was not our decision and choice to visit this lovely World. We were gifted to be here. Every one of us have our own experience. My point is to accept all what Life offer to us with Love. From my experience the more difficult the life path the more gratitude in small pleasures. No one can arrange the feast for you, but yourself. Live with delight! I really hope this is the temporary state for you and you will find the answer to your question!

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    1. Alexander, I recently experienced three deaths of those who I Loved with all my Heart. This is why I am asking these questions. And this is why I don’t seem “myself” these days. Yes this will only be temporary but first I must and I will complete the grieving process in any and all ways it presents itself to me. Thank you for reading this complex post!! 💖

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      1. Amy, I am living pretty long life as of today. I’ve lost a lot of my dearest relatives and friends and I totally understand your state right now. It takes time to find yourself after you lost somebody you love. God bless you!

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      2. God bless you too, Alexander! This is not the first time I’ve gone through grieving but this is the hardest yet. I can honestly say I haven’t found myself yet cause the holes in my life are just so big right now. XOXOXO

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  23. Amy, dear dear Amy.. I have been in your place
    Feeling rock bottom.. Questioning, wondering, pondering
    And I have also said ‘What is the Point’

    The point is, we spend far too much of our life time caught up in pleasing others, and in other peoples stories.. We get so caught up living life to suit others we forget the one Life we have.. And when we look back we can often then think where did it go, what was all the point of all that hard work, the effort, the grief, when all we want is someone to love us..

    Yet the person we forget in all of this is ourselves.. We forget it is ourselves we should be loving and nurturing and we forget it is we who should be living our dreams in our NOW of Moments.. Not in our past regrets, or traumas, or worrying what the future may hold is store..

    We are given these dark times to stand back from ourselves, access our lives and make choices..
    I remember my own so well..

    You have captured so much beauty dear Amy through your camera lens.. Not it is time to turn that lens inward and see your own BEAUTY.. And love all that you are and have been to so many.. You dear Amy ARE BEAUTY.. you capture it, you speak it.. You share it…

    When you truly learn to love yourself.. When you do that, I promise you, Life will appear more brighter and you will see why you had to experience pain, so you can learn to let it go..

    This journey is not an easy road.. We fall, we stumble, but all roads lead us home..

    And I am certain dear Amy the love you have is abundant.. All you need now is to learn to love yourself. And know that you are worthy..
    You are held within my healing book of prayers Amy..
    Sending Much love my friend.. for you shine.. xxx ❤

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    1. Sue, dearest Sue …. I have read your comment many times since you wrote it. I came from an existence I knew not Love so throughout my Life I have been determined to know Love. I’m still a work in progress in Loving myself but I have come such a long ways from the zero point I used to be. I do Love me, Sue. I do. Yet along with that Love I’m still learning ways on how to Love me more. This journey is far from easy and only the brave of heart attempt it. I chose a very challenging lifetime this time around but! The growth in me has been startling and wonderful and glorious to see. When I had my NDE in 1984, that began the Journey I now am on, the Quest of Love and Forgiveness. I didn’t have a clue who I was back then. Today I do and I can tell you for a fact that even though I still am a work in progress I make others nervous when they sense I do Love me. Why? Because so many do not Love themselves. And I am shining now for I can feel it. It just isn’t on HI as it usually is but that’s OK. I have to traverse this grieving path in order to arrive in Paradise. (((HUGS))) Amy 🍁

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      1. I agree with you Amy, so many do not love or even like themselves, Having little respect for themselves is obvious in many..
        You had your NDE I had my breakdown.. And I am still learning. Every day.. Something new about myself, and something I need to fine tune.. And I am so grateful our paths chose to cross here on WP my friend.. Sending the biggest of Hugs right back xxx ❤

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  24. I’ve asked that question many times lately….But I do know the answers as best I can for me. Life to me is school work to improve our perceptions of ourselves and others and to work on becoming better. The reason to me anyway for going on is the fact we DO NOT DIE! We go on to the next life experience, the next grade in our schooling. As I always say to others in regards to this question ” Why would Creator make this world of beauty to be inspired by and to feel happy about for us to work 9-5 everyday and not enjoy it, or learn from it or become inspired by it? He wouldn’t!!! The disaster of this world right now is a result of manmade intervention into our rights to live our lives as we choose! Greed drives this sad situation as does their pathetic need to control. The chaos we see now stems from all of us KNOWING something with life is not right but not being able to change the situation. The political division being created right now is a result of half the world knowing this truth and the other half fighting frantically to keep control and keep things the way they were! They can’t do it forever as we are seeing now. The best we can do is try to create a life for ourselves that satisfies our souls needs and continue to do our part in stopping this injustice and fight for freedom! It will never be easy as change terrifies us and we tend to cling to what was rather than risk what can be…..Stay true to yourself AR….That is where your strength lies.Sending you courage and faith that we will all see this change unfold overtime. It is doing so right now….Hang in and reach out to others who share your beliefs. Thoughts and hugs to you AR…….. VK ❤

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    1. I am not answering you in completion right now but I just wanted to verify something about this post. I know there is life after death. That being said what I was saying in this realm there is death, not Beyond because we do go on. My question was to what purpose do we serve as for even being in this realm in the first place? There were several others who thought that I meant death and nothing beyond that. I really apologize if that is how my thoughts came acrossed. When I wrote this post I was extremely upset. I will get back to you, dear friend, when I catch up with all the other comments in front of you. There have been many many comments on this post which deserve to be answered fully. In the meantime may you have a beautiful day. Just let me say it one more time because it just feels so good. There Is No Death… But yes there is death to this physical body. We are made of energy and energy can never die. 💕🌹💕

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    2. …. For years I have said there is no death. I’ve also had a near death experience. I’m confused how anyone who has been reading my work could think I don’t believe in life after death. Only in this realm is there death. OK? WHEW!

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    3. Yes, VK, I am staying true to myself by creating a world according to me. I pretty much don’t allow outside influences to even come near my home or my life but there are times it just is not possible. Being an Empath I know what is happening in this world without even “knowing” but I do know how to focus my mind and my heart and eyes on those things that create for me peace and Love. I pray we all keep hanging on until this change is over with. It has been one very very rough ride. It is Mother Nature, God, and here at my blog that are my Strongholds. Much Love to you this day!! ☺️

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  25. Hello and Hi! I love what you have to say and the way that you say it! I am sorry to comment out of place but I wanted to say that I just read your post about your mother. It was so beautiful and I am in tears. My mother passed away here at home on March 4, 2009 at 4:03 pm. Her favorite flower was the red rose. Just like the one on your post. I saw it and the word, “Mom” and of course I thought about my mommy. She must have been trying to get my attention to say that she was near or that she loves me. I love her and I miss terribly! So, thank you for your post. May God bless you.

    Michelle

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    1. Oh, Honey, I am so sorry for your loss! Even though yours was years ago it still hurts and it still feels like a big piece of you is missing. I miss my Mom more then I can possibly say even though I really did not know her. I came from a troubled childhood really hating my mother to a point in October of 2015 where I became determined to get to know my Mom and to grow to Love her. And I did grow to Love her in ways I didn’t even know were possible. May God bless you in the times you miss your Mom. I started calling her Mummy and Mama towards the end, my Little Girl just aching to hold on to her. I’m so glad my post drew your attention even though it brought a heartache to you. BIG (((HUGS))) and I don’t mind in the least that you wrote what you did on this post. Please don’t be shy and do come again, Michelle!! Much Love to you!! 💞

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  26. I’m sorry you feel this way but the truth is most of us do at some point in life. We fall down only to stand up again. To live again. To move forward again. Life isn’t easy but it was never meant to be easy. If you believe that the time between birth and death is the time you’re being tested by God, you’ll find a lot of answers. Every person is struggling for some higher purpose. What purpose you’ll ask? For that you’ve got to have faith that there is something beyond death.

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    1. I absolutely know without doubt there is something Beyond Death. I had a near-death experience in 1984 and at that time I was the farthest from walking the right way. In times of intense pain when so many I love with all of my heart go beyond to the next world the pain is so excruciating that I question why above all are we even here in the first place? I followed this post up with another one titled “Truth” whereupon I did get some answers to the questions I asked. We never fully will understand why we are here because life is a mystery. Yet one thing I do know and that is this. We are all here to understand what Love is, and to live our lives with Love in our hearts every single day regardless of what is going on around us. I have more to say about this so I hope you do read my thoughts and my words that will be coming shortly. Thank you for adding your thoughts to this deeply complex post. I so appreciate your words and your kindness. Much Love to you this day. 💕🌹💕

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    1. Yes, Julie, I know only too well there is a point yet when my world crashed, I questioned. I’m getting back up slow but sure seeing now a “new” path ahead of me. May your weekend be wonderful!! 🦋

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