I knew when I was capturing this Rose this past Thursday, I would be using Her for my post telling all of you my Mom has passed. I knew in my Spirit that entire day that she was dying. I’ve only known a “Mom” based on Unconditional Love for approximately the last year and a half of my life. Setting out to know the woman, also known as my Mom, in early 2016 after a lifetime of not knowing her, so began the Journey. I began to call her daily with every intention to open my Mom’s Heart to me. And I did it. What developed between us as a result was a very special and personal relationship … just Mom and Me. Saying farewell to her thrust a dagger right through my Heart and then some.
It took Renal Cancer to birth the Intention in me reach out and Love my Mother unconditionally (regardless of the past) and it also took Renal Cancer to bring down the walls from my Mother’s Heart. It turns out, I’m a lot more like my Mother then I ever knew. I say that with pride. In addition, I can say I now have understanding as a woman why my Mother did what she did in the past. All has been forgiven.
Toward the end her body just gave out from fighting Renal Cancer, diagnosed October of 2015. A combination of the disease with chemo overpowered her Will to Live. During October of 2015 to the present day, she was determined though, to keep on living, this after two major surgeries that would have left anyone else other then my Mom six feet under. She even for a while felt good enough to continue working, which is exactly what she did. She never retired.
The picture below of my Mom was taken on Tuesday, August 29th by one of her Granddaughters, as she was admiring the flowers I sent to her. You will see her sitting at her dining room table eating breakfast, and still, God bless her, taking her vitamins. The Roses are white (they look a bit yellow) which when I saw the arrangement reminded me of Angels. In one of our Precious Conversations I told her that I would not be sending flowers to her memorial service but I would instead be sending them to her when she was at the end of her Life Journey. I wanted her to enjoy beautiful flowers while she was still alive to do so.
The look on my Mother’s face says it all.
Keep in mind this photograph was taken on Tuesday morning … August 29th. Her body ceased to breathe 63 hours after this photo was taken. How beautiful she is! And to me she doesn’t even look sick much less dying! How can this be, I ask? I only know what I see. There is no doubt in my mind how much my Mother Loved me. (I’m framing this photo to put on my wall.)
I spoke to her right after this picture was taken. She wanted to thank me for her beautiful flowers. I almost did not recognize her voice, having not spoken to her in a week. I went from talking to her every day, to a day my calls were not returned. So many my Mom had to talk to before she died which plum wore her right out, so quietly and without fuss I understood. I forfeited my talks with her for the sake of others. When I did finally talk to her the voice I heard in my ear was so weak, barely able to talk. Tears stung my eyes. Stunned, I could hardly comprehend how fast this was all taking place. My Mom’s deterioration was just so fast.
Wednesday evening, according to the family that was around her bedside, my Mom slipped into a semi-conscious state, not recognizing anyone. At one point she seemed to rally, requesting to play a game of Bingo so she did and she won. Immediately after that game, she said she was tired, closed her eyes and did not open them again. My prayers for my Mother were answered. Peacefully and with dignity my Mom slipped off to Paradise, her breathing slowly decreasing over the hours until at 1:28am Friday morning she breathed no more and her Heart stopped. My Mom was 83 years young.
Mom was born June 12, 1934 and died September 1, 2017.
I Love you, Mom! I’ll look for you in rainbows!
This song of Vicki Brown’s was her last song before she died to cancer, much too young.
And then yesterday I saw my favorite early Spring flower as if to say Hope Springs Eternal. Lilacs in September. I felt Mom smiling.
I am keeping comments open unsure if I will be able to respond.
Photography/ “Mom”/ September 2017©AmyRose