Confrontation For Closure

Considering confrontation
takes much courage
especially when dealing with
situations that
stir the emotions so deep
yet when confrontation
is completed coming
from a state of Love
usually that message is well received
releasing the spirit from
a thousand and one agonies.

And in obtaining closure
from that confrontation

streams of Joy and Light
release the agonies of plight
making once that was so tight
to open with frivolous delight.
~~~~~
*Choose your words and your “battles” carefully*

MF Macro Photography Handheld/ “Confrontation For Closure”/
April 2017©AmyRose
NO DIGITAL ART APPLIED.
http://www.herladypinkrose.wordpress.com

When it comes to relationships I believe in honesty, a free give and take from both parties.  That being said, misunderstandings still do happen and hurt feelings result.  I was not taught how to confront or how to gain closure when uncomfortable situations arise.  So I taught myself.  It is extremely stressful for me to do this yet because of my belief in complete honesty, I practice confrontation in a way that does not put the other on the defensive.  My knee jerk reaction, however, is to withdraw.  Or it had been.

I started (healthy) confrontations with my husband and now because I have done it more then several times (actually I’ve lost count), it has become easier for me to do.  So Life decided I require more growth in this area and a huge situation arose leaving me in such dire straits that I was emotionally tormented and devastated.  I just had to know and gain understanding as to why something was occurring.

I carefully consulted my Inner Guidance as how best to proceed.  There were so many emotions broiling about that first it was mandatory to get to a place of Calm.  I did just that by going for a long hike.  Again I turned inward as to what next to do.  I was guided to carefully form my words all from a place of Love.  I clearly stated how adversely this situation had affected me and that I did not deserve to be treated thusly.  None of what happened was intentional.  It was all due to the craziness of Life.  (As I found out.)

My words were heard.  And I mean really heard.  The other party understood why I spoke the words I did, and they were sincerely apologetic.  I took a big chance with this situation, really not knowing how the other would “react” with my words.  Why?  So many do not confront but rather just turn away without resolution to avoid a very uncomfortable place.  Not me.  I am not able to move forward until I gain resolution.  As it is there are many aspects of my past I have no resolution and with those I have come to a state of acceptance that what is, is.

Avoidance is not the answer for sooner or later those situations (in different form) will keep reappearing until confrontation is learned from the perspective of Love.  How else is growth possible?

My Intentions with this post are to encourage all of you to make right what has hurt you.  Without honest, open conversation and understanding the wounds fester and a deep hurt penetrates your being.  These types of situations only set you up for further hurt down the road.  Oh yes, it is very difficult to stand up and say to another that what was done hurt you and to state the reasons why.  Yet, when resolution happens, the feeling of immense relief is insurmountable.  And miraculously the heaviness disappears.

This image was taken with me laying on my belly again on a very cold sidewalk with temps hovering around 39°F.  I just knew that magic was about to happen.  And by gosh it did.  The sun popped out and voila I caught magic!  I stress there is no digital art manipulation with this image.  Nothing has been added or enhanced.  What is seen is exactly what I saw on my viewfinder courtesy of Light from the Sun.

❤ ❤ ❤

61 thoughts on “Confrontation For Closure

  1. Thanks for stopping by my blog, Amy! I am better at confrontation than in the past. At age 50, I decided I had to stand up for myself and often do it awkwardly but try to express my feelings! Hugs xoxo the photos are always wonderful here! Peace be with you, dear. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll be back to your blog, Robin. My mornings are just so crammed. I will be reading your post I just clicked like on. Not easy to learn how to stand up for yourself and confront but … IF you don’t do it, no one else will. At least that is what I see in my life. I’m better at expressing myself in writing BUT am improving with the verbal communication. YAY! Peace to you, dear friend!!! ❤

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      1. No problem, dear Amy! ❤ I am always behind, trying to play catch up!! Yay for peace and warmth of friendship love. We always come back to each other. . . Peace back at ya! We try to stay caught up!!

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  2. I don’t like confrontation, and generally try to avoid it. BUT when it gets to the point that I feel I need to speak up, I do. It’s important to communicate effectively, and part of that means getting to the heart of the matter. I have a hard time glossing-over on the regular. There’s nothing wrong with speaking truth. Most of the time, I don’t think people are aware of the feelings they incite in others, let alone their own motivation.
    Writers are always looking for motivation.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Joey, I’m like you … I don’t gloss over or sugar coat either. I was taught as a kid to sweep all ugly under the rug. No way will I live my adult life like that and it has taken me a long time to teach myself to be courageous enough to confront. It takes a lot to set me off or even to confront but when I do, I do so not from an angry place but one of firmness, strong eye contact and a message “hey I don’t deserve to be treated like this”. People many times are so blind they have no idea the chaos they create around them. Good for you for being courageous!!! I’m proud of you!!! 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh yes, confrontation is so hard, but so many people do lousy things and just because they are being inconsiderate, rather than being outright mean, other people don’t like to say anything but they really should!

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    1. Confrontations are really not easy to do, Marissa. I’m learning. The thousand and one agonies I suffer and then when I finally get the nerve to say something, I am SO proud of myself for doing so. I will not tolerate nasty or inconsideration and when this happens, I (try to) immediately say something, not mean or nasty in return, but firm, yes, yet my tone of voice is from Peace. I clearly convey I do not deserve to be treated that way. I’m getting better at this. It takes practice. So many times I “think” of the perfect thing to say when I’ve been hit from out of the blue and the person is long gone. Of course. Now that I’m getting braver my responses are coming quicker. Yay for me. Someone has to put a stop to nasty. If it’s not you or me, who then? Much Love to you this day, dear friend! ❤

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  4. I love the picture, Amy. thanks again for the acrobatics involved in getting the perfect shot. I am not quick to be confrontational, but I don’t shy away from it either. Sometimes, it works, just as you suggest. Sometimes, the other person doesn’t listen. Then it becomes a case of “we’re done here.”

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    1. I love this picture too, Dan. Thank you! It takes someone of strong character to consider confrontations. Yes it is uncomfortable and there is a certain way to convey how to express without putting the other party on the defensive. No this does not always work and I do the very same … “I’m done here.” and walk away when the other party is not open to what I am saying. Deaf ears don’t hear, a blocked heart either. So, as I pointed out, choose your battles carefully. That’s a life lesson all in of itself. Much Love to you this day!!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You are a very brave woman, Amy 🙂
    Lovely photo and I like your way of photographing to get just the right one.
    It is not easy to find the courage and confront, but when we do so, we can just hope, that the other part are able to listen and understand.

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    1. Thank you, Raewyn, for taking the time to write this comment. I so appreciate it. I really LOVE when magic happens when I am with my camera. And good for you for being strong enough to stand up for you. I’m proud of you!!! (((HUGS))) ❤

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    1. Many of us don’t like confrontation, Sylvia, although I know of one person who bulldozes through and doesn’t stop confronting. Way rude and inappropriate. The key is to learn how to confront without putting the other person on the defensive. And to get enough self confidence to do so. 😉 There are times that in order to move ahead we really must confront and hope for the best. Take care. Love, Amy ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Life is constantly throwing me circumstances where strength is required. *sigh* Enough already. I’m so ready for smooth waters in a beautiful white sailboat. (smile) And yes this photo left me with my jaw open in awe. I just KNEW getting down on that very cold sidewalk would yield me magic. And it did!!! ❤

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  6. The light was being shone on you kind lady…your self love is beginning to glow…as it should 😀
    And you are so correct in your explanation above. It is only when we face our truth do we begin to understand.
    I asked God why my life was so miserable and ‘heavy’, how could something so awful have purpose. So He told me, by showing me over the next few years why it is, as it is. His ‘unconditional’ is there…we have to find it…by being ‘conditional’ in our fears, so that when we do break through into the light of understanding, we really understand His ‘unconditional’ and the love that it is built on.
    And as you said…a peace descends on us, we find that beautiful place of peace within…simply because we have loved ourselves by being that truth to ourselves, by being truthful, to us and others 😀
    You my lovely friend have had one of those break through’s, and within it the light just gets brighter in the unconditional love you are becoming 😀
    Thank you for sharing that understanding, it is a breeze on a hot summers day 😀 ❤

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    1. I read your comment, Mark, several times and in all honesty it is so beautiful I don’t know quite what to say in response. What is going on in the background called “my life”, much of which I don’t talk about, makes my life so so difficult at times. Yet when I do get these breakthroughs, they have been hard won! These things just don’t come without a price tag, as you are so very aware of. I question many times WHY my life has to be so challenging, so much of it out of my comfort zone, and many times I don’t get an answer. Yet when I do it goes something like this … You asked for a quantum leap growth life and that is what you got. So, stop bellyaching. LOL Yep. Or something like that. Do any of us know what unconditional Love truly is in this realm? I believe I have tasted it but sustained? No. I encourage you to keep on plugging away so your Light becomes ever brighter. I really am touched by your thoughtful, heartfelt comments. Take good care of yourself, dear friend. Love, Amy ❤

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      1. Thank you Amy, I appreciate your words. Your journey, as hard as it is, is appreciated by you all the more because of those breakthroughs, and is built that way to find that beautiful unconditional love within. It will only be ‘conditional’ while ever a fear remains…which for nearly all of us, they ‘hang on’ even after we have ‘seen’ them.
        My major life fear, even now, still bobs up to see if I have been listening, and each time gets a little easier. We’ve had a lifetime of burying ourselves in their grip, so it will take some time to release them from a lifetime habit of ‘being’ a certain way.
        Some parts go quickly and others are a bit harder to face. But slowly, as they are left behind, we realise that we can now begin to ‘see’, and I mean really see life for what it is, and it gives us confidence and the ability to now understand that unconditional IS there, and has only been kept at bay by our ‘holding patterns’ of our fears.
        I have reached a place where I can ‘see’ that unconditional beauty all around…because I have finally understood what has kept me ‘apart’ from its beauty. Most of my ‘bits’ are gone, and I smile constantly within now, ‘unconditionally’, because that is just who I am now. Yes, life still comes along and see’s if I’m listening…but one day I just ‘knew’ that my life was now one of creating my journey instead of reacting to it. It is an important distinction…an understanding within…and then you let it go, along with everything else, and just accept. I think it is called ‘living in the now’ , no longer a ‘what if’ for miles…and that peace descends a little more, colors become much richer, energy from all around is felt at a cleaner level…and the love…wow, it just hugs you all around, because you have now loved yourself. And within that, you just attract it all the more.
        Sorry, got excited…this journey, in hindsight, is a very special journey…even those bits that seem to be the ‘dark night of the soul’…in fact, it is those that create that discovery within, they have great purpose.
        May that peace descend on you in that love Amy, the unconditional love waiting within us all ❤ 😀

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  7. Beautiful image!

    I think have great courage and very calm in getting to the resolution. That can be extremely difficult. In addition, it is difficult to predict the out come. You need to be ready to deal with the reaction. Thumbs up!

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    1. Thank you, YellowCable!! I was stunned when I captured this image. And I am really learning that I deserve to be heard and have the ability to forge ahead with my life. That means closure to me so I do it. Not easy no, but again, I am learning! ❤

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  8. Confrontation done either with love or fear are sometimes the best place to get your thoughts out. They have to be heard because if not someone or both will live with that doubt. Great advice and wonderfully written…

    Rolly

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    1. Great comment, Rolly. Never though, do confrontation in fear, ONLY from a place of Love. Oh yes you may have jangled nerves or butterflies in your stomach but the words and actions I’ve learned result the best results when done with Love. Sometimes it is not possible to be heard either. That is why I wrote to choose your words and battles carefully. 🙂 ❤

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  9. love the shot! and yes, I agree. sooner or later its going to, come out. somehow. anyway. I always thought, better to clarify things Early!! get it sorted from the heart. but as we know, Not everybody is ‘comfortable’ with this.

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  10. Beautiful image to a wonderful post but most of all I love the statement “Avoidance is not the answer for sooner or later those situations (in different form) will keep reappearing until confrontation is learned from the perspective of Love.  How else is growth possible?”. I find it most expressive of the depth of commitment to relationships on your part.

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  11. So much in common! I understand you so well. It takes so much courage when you want to speak up and fear the reaction or when you tried to and were slept in the face with ignorance… been there. I am glad you experienced a constructive development which is encouraging. I never stopped speaking up either although it has been a big step every time. But I grew in a different way. I walked my own path, trying to leave the pain with the person who even increased it with his ignorance. Over time it resulted in a much bigger way of speaking up and taking a step out of that relationship… which I am about now! It is always more difficult when kids are involved and when you feel guilty because you are the only unhappy person… but at one point the pain and frustration level is high enough to push you through it with all consequences!
    Again, I am glad you spoke up and saw the positive effect. I believe in talking to each other and sharing thoughts and feelings with each other in a relationship. If you do it, it tightens the bond. If you don’t, it separates!

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    1. Couldn’t agree more with all you said here, Erika! Too many people don’t know how to communicate anymore because they are so focused on technology. It’s easier to run then to bring closure, yet with time, things do have a way of catching up. Growth is not possible when we don’t voice our concerns and bring confrontation to the forefront. It’s not possible. This is another reason why so many people seem to make the same “mistakes” over and over again. Ya gotta stop running sometime. If not this life, the next. Hope you are well and happy in spirit. Much Love to you! ❤

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      1. You mentioned an important point… life will catch up with what was missing through the missed conversations. It all has its consequences. And the are inevitable! I am good, thank you, Amy, and looking smiling towards the future! Have a lovely day 💖

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      1. Had real emergency here Tuesday. One of the barn cats who I love got his right paw caught in an inhumane spring loaded animal trap. The rescue was a miracle because where he was and trap both were jammed in a huge pile of junk in barn next door. My quick reflexes and knowing what to do saved his leg. Hubby and i flew to Vet after hubby managed to carefully pry trap open so i could remove paw. Blood immediatedly gushed and I applied compression STAT. IF I know for sure who set this trap in that barn that person will not know what hit him. I’m furious, Susan. Tee could have lost his leg! Thank God he is OK! The experience completely wiped me out.

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  12. Wonderful advice dear Amy.. Confrontation is not easy.. it is something I would try to avoid at all costs, because it brought back often memories of when I was a child an the arguments of my parents..
    Yet learning that sometimes words need to be uttered, and listened too.. Learning to listen to our own inner promptings and tell it like it is.. Spilling out our heart is not always easy.. Especially when we know that often times its met with a brick wall.. And thrown back in our faces..
    But as we grow along our journey, our inner strength comes to teach us.. To stand in our own truth and be truthful to ourselves.. And if that means saying somethings others may not always like to hear about their truths.. then so be it.

    Life is now leading many more of these truths to unfurl, be it in the political circles. business and corruption,. we are seeing now people no longer standing idly by..

    We are Waking up.. and shaking others up..
    And its all as it should be..

    Love and Hugs dear friend xxx Sue xxx ❤

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    1. Ahhhhh, a woman after my own Heart. I just recently told my bio sis the main reason why I won’t have anything to do with the majority of my bio family is because they lie. I detest lying and can spot a lie a mile off. Bless you for seeing the honesty in me. I so appreciate your feedback! (((HUGS))) ❤

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  13. Hello, Amy~I found your blog today as I was finishing a draft on confrontation. For the first time I decided to browse the WordPress Reader using a specific tag as to what I was writing about. I’m so glad I did because I found you! I look forward to reading more as I have found another who speaks my language😇~Brandi

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