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The Devil Called Habit

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*Contains some strong language.*

The man begins to see a habit.  Yet he continues to run to that habit whenever Life gets tough.  Regardless of who he hurts he runs to that habit to indulge.  It numbs him for a little bit.  It makes him forget his troubles.  And it lies to him each and every time that this is where it’s at, flying high at the feet of death.

Time goes by.  The man sees his mate’s tears with his every tango with that devil.  He sees the wreckage whenever that devil comes a’ callin’.  Many years he denies.  Not me.  And the blame game begins to shift the “truth of reality” onto another’s shoulders, shoulders of innocence.  “This is not my fault”, he righteously proclaims to his mate.  “If you had not acted the way you did, I would not have run to my habit.”

Responsibilities weigh him down and fun seems so so far away.  Even though life pounds at him over time the running really does get old, and he just doesn’t want to run anymore.  And with that thought, the veil of blindness rips asunder.  This habit he sees for what it is … damned in hell.  “Devil”, he roars, “you are not going to ruin my life!”  Deep within he agrees to change, to do better, to stop the running in order to change his life.

The man does good on his thought.  He’s determined and with each passing day feels so happy that his family is happy even with all those burdens and stresses.  Peace flows.  Smiles break out.  Stomachs unclench.  And then it happens.  This just doesn’t feel right.  This handling life without this habit is scary and it overwhelms him.  He begins to withdraw, his stomach again clenches, as well his jaw, panic rises and with it feelings of helplessness by the mountains of responsibilities, completely not what he “planned” his life to be.

That is when he hears the faint knocking.  Of that devil called habit.  And it surely does have his attention.  He ignores that knocking at first but the more he ignores the louder it becomes.  Then,

a disaster at home strikes breaking the camel’s back and all his good intentions go flying out the window.  That’s it!  The man cannot take one more minute without that habit to again lie to him.  Regardless of the ramifications, he flies off the couch where he had been sulking, and out the door he goes to the nearest stool to down the fiery liquid.

He can handle this he tells himself.  Only one.  Maybe two.  And then home he’ll go.  Nope, not gonna sit and overdo.  Done that and he knows what happens about that.  He is determined not this time, so devil be damned.  I’m only having a few and then I go home.

In walks Temptation, in the form of a man who just “by chance” sits next to him on the very next stool.  Now that bar is crowded to overfilling, yet look at that, there is an empty stool right next to this man.  Conversation begins and as it does, both men find out they have a common friend.  And then it happens.  “Give my friend here a drink”, the stranger now friend says to the barmaid.  Ah, what the hell, the man thinks to himself.  Just one more and then I’ll go home.

He looses all track of time and the promises he has made.  Dinner has long been cold sitting for hours untouched on the bar.  The same dinner that had been meant for him and his mate.  Nothing matters now except for that substance and oh how wonderful it feels to forget, that blessed forgetfulness, of the burdens life has brought his way.

Suddenly his cell phone rings and with a start he sees it is his mate.  With a lopsided, cheerful grin he picks it up and he hears anger and tears which just about land him on the floor.  What has he done?  What time is it?  How many glasses has he downed?  And as reality crashes all around him, he realizes again he fell.

And by the grace of God, because of all those glasses he had lifted, when he took a spill landing with a loud thud on that slippery black ice in the parking lot, that fiery substance saved that man from a broken neck.  And as he lay on that ground it occurred to him, how scary it is to be hurt and alone having no one but himself to blame.  Getting up and going home, he is greeted with stony silence and this time he knows what he has done.

“No more, devil of habit, no more!”, this man proclaims, as he shakes his fist angrily in the air.  “I will not be subject to your beck and call.  I will beat you at your game, you son of a bitch!  This is the last time I hurt myself and I hurt my family.  Go away and don’t come back!”  And as these words are formed, tears gather in his eyes.  Oh, God, what has he  done?

**This story tells you when you make up your mind to change a habit that you know in your Heart is detrimental to both you and your Loved Ones, that devil of a habit will  entice you and trap you and if that is not enough, Temptation will appear to make that habit stick.  Habits are extremely difficult to change.  If you are aware of these Truths and know just how tough a habit is to change, you have the upper hand.  Why?  Awareness is key to change and brings you in control.

And when you do fall, and you will, don’t beat yourself up.  Ask for forgiveness (really meaning it!) from yourself and your Loved Ones, and get back on track fast to change that devil called habit which ultimately will destroy your life.  The longer you procrastinate and give in to that devil, the harder it will be to walk away from it.**

Photography/ “The Devil Called Habit”/ March 2017©AmyRose
http://www.herladypinkrose.wordpress.com

❤ ❤ ❤

 

61 thoughts on “The Devil Called Habit”

  3. Beautiful photo, Amy 🙂
    That kind of habit is killing, not only themselves, but all who love and care about them too. Maybe not physically but mentally, it does. I have lived with this too and it is killing.
    Take good care of yourself, dear Amy ❤

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    1. This habit does kill physically as well, Irene, for I as an RN know only too well what over consumption of alcohol can do. Ascites then liver damage for starters. I too once upon a time had a drinking problem and I had to hit rock bottom before I woke up. Today I don’t drink at all and in fact, I cannot bear even the smell of alcohol without it turning my stomach. Much Love to you this day, dear friend. ❤

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      1. I agree, that it does kill physically too, but usually only the one, who are abusing. It kills love, families, friends, jobs etc, because so many are involved. I don’t drink either, Amy ❤

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    1. Addiction is powerful, Marissa, and you can have all the good intentions in the world but it has such a hold over a person. It takes years of help, years of trying, years of walking in a healthy direction, years of replacing that addiction with something else that is good for you. Addiction comes in many forms, just not alcohol by any means.
      And yes the snow does look like marshmallow puff balls. I couldn’t resist taking this pic. 🙂 ❤

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  5. Amy you have so nailed the cycle of addiction. Research has shown that only about five percent of addicts are able to beat their addiction. As you say, relapse will occur, but the key is putting that behind and looking forward, pick yourself up and try try again until you succeed. An addict needs help, often detox and rehab, sober living community…etc. Having lost a loved one to addiction, we must not give up or enable. We can do all we can to help the person get well but nothing to enable their “habit”. Thank you so much Amy for this wonderful text. ❤️️

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    1. Holly, I am so so sorry to hear you lost someone from the disease of addiction. Unfortunately no one but that person has to get to a place to “see” this habit in order to get serious about it. In the meantime, that habit not only destroys the person, but those that love that person. I am of the 5%, dear friend, who have beat addiction, and I have stuck to it. One puff of a cigarette, one drink, one powerful pain pill, and I am an addict all over again. I’ve worked too hard to remain sober to blow it now. Having gone through addiction, I know the excuses so well, I know the blaming of others, I know never taking responsibility until one day “something” happens that you know that you know you must change. Nothing anyone does or says will have any effect until that person sees for himself. BIG (((HUGS))) coming from me. I understand the heartache involved. Much Love to you this day! ❤

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  6. Such a powerful and important message, Amy. This devil has affected so many of us, both today, and for generations past. One can’t help but feel the intensity of the pain that is personal to you and to all of us.

    Thanks for sharing this one. Hugs to you.

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    1. You put tears in my eyes, Van, with your tender caring. I really did my best to keep the “personal” out of this but you are much too smart and I couldn’t fool you. This was a “therapy” write for me as I experienced the madness of rage as once again I saw all the progress run down the drain. I’ve lived with addictions all my life, with those around me and myself as well. I’ve walked away from those addictions, dear friend, and still to this day have to be aware of my addictive qualities. Bless you for taking the time to read this. The words literally poured out of me but I took a long time with editing them. BIG (((HUGS))) to you!!! Much Love! ❤

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    1. Habits are so tough to change, Dan. There was a time not so long ago we had to shut our hot water off for some reason or the other, and I cannot tell you how many times I reached to turn the hot water on. Out of habit. We do SO many things from out of habit we don’t even know it. The destructive ones are the hardest to change as we have learned to use them as crutches in life. I’ve beat 3 addictions, dear friend, and in their place I now have something called my Canon. (smile) Then there are my gardens … which soon I’ll be in. And then there are my cats. I’d say I replaced many a bad habit with good. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know it was a long read. I really worked hard on the editing. Much Love to you! ❤

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    1. I’lll pass that message to the person that this post was about, Eliza. Thank you! What a lovely thought about the caterpillars. This actually isn’t my deck … it’s a walkway in a park I frequent. I wish I had a deck like this! 🙂 Much Love to you this day! ❤

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  9. I had one of those Amy…smoking…and it took quite a long time to kick it, but kick it I did. And thankfully I only smoked for about 15 years…it’s been over 20 years ago that I gave it up…and I now have Emphysema.
    My journey was too late,…but, in finally doing it I did find something very, very important…me 😀
    I hope all turns out well for ‘the above’ journey, to whomever it belongs to. And I suppose in this life, we all have to tread this path somewhere.
    And I love your ‘snow caterpillars’ following each other on the hand rails above. Fantastic! 😀 ❤

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    2. I’m very sorry to hear about your emphysema, Mark. I’m an ex-smoker too and made darn sure I exercised consistently to get all the gunk out and to keep my lungs clean. Not to be able to breathe easily must be a nightmare. As for the journey, I’ll pass on your well wishes. That means a lot, dear friend. It’s so easy to pick up “habits” just to relieve stress. It’s far more challenging to get ourselves into a gym and stay there, or run, or jog, or hike. I’m Blessed my lungs are as healthy as they are and I know it. I abused my body too long. It took me years and years to get mind/body strong and sound and I’m still doing it today.
      Snow caterpillars …. I didn’t even think of that until first Eliza said that and now you. How cool! Now I see them! 🙂 ❤ Much Love to you this day! ❤

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      1. Thank you kind lady, and much love to you also. And believe it or not, the Emphysema was also a blessing…I got to ‘see’ something that still to this day blows me away. But I had to look at my fear of death first, then I got to see a journey…moving into death and the ‘let go’ and the initial release of this world…absolutely incredible. I’m not sure if you’ve read it, but it is under the heading up on the menu bar on my blog called ‘The Death’. Everybody looks at it and dodges it…but it is the most amazing journey 😀

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      2. I will be sure to read it. I had a near death experience so I no longer fear death. Thank you for pointing me to this writing. I look forward to it. And how true what you speak of here. Sometimes from out of the blackest cloud comes the greatest light. Huh. That’s good! 💖🌹💖

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      4. My experience is so difficult for me to put into words because what happened just transcends this world completely. I’ve spoken of it here and there and even if it happened in 1984, I still stumble in my humble attempt to describe what I can only coin as Complete Love. ❤

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      5. Most certainly Amy, I totally understand about not being able to put it into words. Even my blog post does not ‘touch’ the truth of the experience, quite simply because there are no words to describe that experience…it is beyond this world and its ‘restrictions’…literally. But as you said…never forgotten. And maybe that is why it is so hard to put to words, it is so that others can ‘see’ that you have had an incredible experience, and begin to ask questions of themselves , and their beliefs. We no longer need to believe…we ‘know’ what is there…we have touched that incredible love, and there isn’t a thing in this world that could change that :D.
        May you ever be a part of that beauty Amy, and share that love you have found within, as you do ❤ 😀

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      6. You are such a dear friend. My day got away from me and I never did finish your article. I did read a good part and yes I do plan on finishing up with it. Your Loving words that I just read settled my Heart this night, for I have had a great loss to me personally for reasons I am not being told. It seems we are living in such a time that what is no longer viable in one’s life just goes. At least that is what I am seeing in my life. This loss hurts deeply for it involves a treasured friendship. I have much to ponder this night trying to figure out the whys this friendship has come to an end of which I have not been told. Endings always bring new beginnings. Take my NDE … what had been life up to that time ended for I came back a changed person. Sometimes I even think I am a walk in being so vastly different from the person I was. I can tell you this. I came back with the Message not to go to your deathbed with unforgiveness on your Heart. As I’ve worked diligently in forgiving over the years I’ve discovered there are layers to forgiveness. Like an onion …. layers come off only for another one to be observed. Interesting.
        Now off to my bed to hold my Bella who has had a very challenging week. We think she threw a clot having as a result some type of ischemic event (a stroke) but due to fast action and LOVE … she is getting baby aspirin … I am seeing her making progress right before my eyes. She still has yet to forgive me for flying off to the Vet with her but hopefully after tonight I can coax her into letting go and just saying …. We’re OK, Mom. (Smile) So Much Love to you, dear dear Mark. I will honestly focus and ask Heart if it is truly possible for me to articulate my experience in Heaven. You have put a Seed in my Mind, you! 😉 ❤ ❤ ❤

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      7. It is a very profound change, and does create vacuums where before rested what you thought was your life. It needs you to step into what you are now becoming, and as you said, peel the layers of the onion away, to find the beauty within. And that does take years to do, as each step shows you more of what you really are within and takes a little time to adjust as they can be quite profound steps…and as spirit said to me…if we got it all at once we would never understand it, because it takes ‘experience and understanding’ to ‘see’ the truth in what we are becoming ❤
        Go with the beautiful love you were shown Amy, it will always hold you in its warmth wherever we may go on this planet kind lady. It has touched you so that you may become that love (in whatever you do), which will touch others, to let them see another way ❤ 😀

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      8. I just finished reading your article on death and will be leaving a comment when my WiFi is back on. Hubby is switching routers, putting a new one in. I’m on data on my phone answering this but I prefer being on my laptop to comment. Our experiences are very much alike in many ways. I’ll tell you why soon. 💖

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      9. And just saying this much … this is a lifetime journey in order to right the wrong thinking for lack of a better way to phrase this. I’m still learning from my experience in 1984. I’m also trying to convey to my mom there is no need to fear death but she is not hearing me. It will rock my world when she leaves because of my humanness and missing her. Yet I know where she is and look forward to join her as soon as this life is completed. Yep. 💖

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      10. She is just afraid of death Amy, as most people are. You and I ‘know’ that is a beautiful step and are no longer afraid. She won’t want to hear you, simply because her spirit within needs her to ‘feel’ something in her let go of this world. She needs to see something within herself. Just be the love that you are and be there for her, a more beautiful love you cannot give, it is unconditional.
        And yes, it is hard to see those we love pass on…and we are still human with all those attachments so that we too can ‘see’ our journey and feel what they mean to us. And in the end, be healed also ❤ 😀

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      11. How I wish I could persuade my Mom there is nothing to fear about death. Not gonna happen though. She is fighting so hard to stay alive and it’s getting to the point I would love to say, please, Mom, enough. But that is her decision. Not mine. She’s not going down without a fight. And you know how that goes, more then likely. I pray for a quick release for her. We’ll see. I know not her life plan either so …. I can still pray though. ❤

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    1. Good for you, Tom! I’m proud of you! The horror of withdrawal remains with me to this day and that fact alone keeps me strong not to go back to my habits. Some days it is so tempting when life pounds away, but, no way no how, I’ve worked too hard as you have to throw all that away! Stay strong!! Much Love to you! ❤

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  14. So many lessons within this story dear Amy.. And one I hope the man sees now with clearer foresight.
    I have had experience of knowing someone with a similar habit… Getting them to see the Devil called habit is the first big hurdle..
    I feel the man is understanding just what a devil it can be…
    And I admire his mate.. So much..

    Love and Hugs dear Amy.. and see you have more snow… xxx ❤

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    1. I’ve learned that no one but the person who is chained to a destructive habit can see it for what it is. Until that time comes Tough Love by the Loved One is employed as well as living by example. Yes the man is finally seeing and that is the most important step to healing. For in order to heal one must see that which is to be healed. All of our snow is basically gone now and from what I hear warmer temps are here to stay! Oh yay! Bless you for your admiration. The mate who listens to her Heart knows what this man can do. Understanding is key for her. Much Love to you this day! 💖🌹💖

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