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Self-Realization

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Self-Realization comes with it
Wisdom accrued with age
as the one who realizes
on the Self-Realization Path
what was thought to be known
is not quite known after all
~~~~~

Photography/ “Self-Realization”/ February 2017©AmyRose
http://www.herladypinkrose.wordpress.com

The colors in the skies lately have been mouth dropping spectacular!  I took this image from my kitchen window looking at our backyard.  It was nearly dark but what I saw had me running for my camera.  Am I ever glad I took the time to tip toe (aka running) through my babes who were gobbling up their snackies here and there on my kitchen floor.

Over this past weekend, hubby discovered that a belt on my rug shampooer was broken, so he repaired it for me.  Thank you, Hubby!  Then I was told he was going to help me shampoo the rugs!  I almost fell over.  Finally, hubby offered his help to clean!

Eagerly I positioned the shampooer ready to get the process going, when I heard, “Honey, I’ll hold the electrical cord for you.  I don’t want it to get in your way.  You have enough to do.”

Eagerness turned to complete disbelief.  Please tell me I misheard.

Astonishment plain to see on my face I replied, “You told me you were going to help me.”  In turn hubby said, “I am.  I’m holding the electrical cord so it doesn’t get in your way.  I’m also going to watch you because I don’t know how to shampoo the rug.”

If I had a nickel for all the times I’ve heard, “But I don’t know how” from this man, I would be a rich woman today.

The “look” from me clearly said …. sarcasm.  Thank you, Mom-In-Law, (again for the zillionth time) for not teaching hubby how to clean.  OH what you have done to me!

Now in past times I would have stood there arguing with him.  Not this time.  I knew better then to try to move a dead weight boulder.  So instead I turned the beast on and began to shampoo our rug.

Suddenly, I heard hubby’s voice again, “Start over there”.  I looked up to see him pointing to the other side of the room as I was ready to start shampooing in the set pattern I was used to.  I’ve only been doing these rugs for these last fifteen years or so.

Ya think I know what I’m doing’?

Hackles rising, my dander up too, now I was pissed.  I turned the shampooer off and said, “Do not even dare tell me how to shampoo this rug!  Here, YOU do it since you can stand there and tell me how to shampoo.”  I took a few steps back and folded my arms across my chest with a huff.  I stared at him without flinching.  Backing down immediately hubby relied, “Ahh no, you go ahead. I really don’t know how to do what you are.”

Sigh from me.  Another look as I shook my head with disgust.  I walked to the beast to continue the job as hubby, as any well trained gentleman would, held that damn electrical cord.

How had I managed to shampoo all this time without his valuable assistance?

Several times he attempted to direct me where to shampoo and how.  By the third or forth time he did so the “look” that came his way said ONE more time, Buddy, and I walk off the job.  Message received and no more Boss Talk.

There we were, me working with a machine that weighs a good 40 pounds and hubby holding the damn electrical cord.  Occasionally I heard, “Oh, Honey, you are such a hard worker.”  Hmmmm … and you just noticed this now after 33 years of marriage?

Excuse me but I don’t brown nose and anyone with a brain would know that who claims to know me!

However, I must give credit where credit is due.  Hubby did do the “running” for me.  In other words he would dump the dirty water and fill the clean water for me.  The entire time I shampooed that rug, I stayed calm, did not fall into anger, (except that one time with the hackles rising).  This is the way hubby is and hopefully one day he will actually manage to jump in “realizing” that machine is too heavy for me to manage.  And HE will shampoo the rug for me.

Yep, I’ve gained some “wisdom” down this road called Life.  LOL

❤ ❤ ❤

68 thoughts on “Self-Realization”

      1. LOL Frustrating is it not? I’ve learned to balance by cleaning what I must and IF I can tolerate the unclean I do that too. I don’t mind cleaning. It’s just that I have so much “other” to contend with and hubby knows it. Sighs. MIL did some major damage. BIG (((HUGS))) ! ❤

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  2. Oh what a scam! I’m glad he did the running, but I think I’d lose my mind if my husband said he’d hold the cord. Why bother? lol With a 40lb machine, the cord would be the least of my worries! At least you can get a work out… gotta look for the silver linings… I must say, The Mister vacuums better than I do. He’ll move all the furniture — I love that. Of course, he isn’t the one who does it all the time, so when he offers, I do rejoice 🙂 I should maybe call my MIL and thank her, huh?

    That sunset is marvelous! What a great capture!

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    1. Joey, hubby was brought up in an era that taught housework was “woman’s” work. His mother did everything for him including making his bed. What I have undid in the years we have been married has been like cracking my head against a brick wall. It’s vexing! Yes he does a LOT … taking care of our vehicles, repairs, taking care of the lawn, does all the errands including grocery shopping, and yes he does cook dinners for me … And to talk to MIL would be a bit difficult for she is beneathe one of my gardens as in ashes. LOL My brothers were taught the same way and yes I really feel for their wives. I’ve gotten to the point either my house goes dirty or I do the cleaning. Now he will lift heavy furniture for me. 😉 ❤

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      1. I do like a man who will run errands! Sounds pretty traditional. We’re pretty traditional too. What if he didn’t have a wife? I suppose he’d have to live in a pig sty or hire help, hm? Mine doesn’t cook. He can cook well enough to sustain life, but I prefer to eat well 🙂
        We neither one have fathers as traditional as your hubby. I think I’d have to go back to Grandpa…Grandma always said Grandpa would never make it without a wife 😛

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      2. We went through a really bad time and I moved I to an apartment. For 9 months. The entire time hubby did not clean so yes he would rather live in a pigsty versus cleaning. That is how much damage MIL did. Sigh.

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    1. I know he can change but he does not want to. He knows I will not live in dirt so yes I will clean. He does a lot of other things, Susan. Really. This one area he is stubborn as a mule thanks to MIL.

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      3. Harry was born in that generation, too. But since I have had all that what has going on he has learned to do some decent meals made all by himself. AND he is so proud of himself.

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    1. Scott, trust me on this, I would have loved to give a hard enough knock on the head to make my husband see these colors. He is exasperating when it comes to cleaning and organization. I have stopped even trying to get him to move to clean up his messes or even hint at what needs to be addressed. I get nowhere. So I do what I can and live as best I can within the confines of his messes. Sighs. Yep, I’m out of my comfortable zone all the time. Such is the way of much growth. 🙂 ❤

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    1. SOOOOOOO happy you laughed, Gigi! This man is incredibly stubborn and it seems allergic to cleaning. Vexing, exasperating, oh yes, YET he does have his attributes by running errands, including grocery shopping and he cooks dinner. Clean? Forget it. His mother’s teachings are so deeply engrained in him. I’ve given up with anger, cause it gets me nowhere. And yes I know how to turn a story around so it is damn funny!! How do you think I keep my sanity???? LOL LOL LOL ❤

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  8. Oh boy! You have the patience of a sin, my friend. I would have wrapped that cord round his … *and breathe*

    Reminds me so much of my own struggles with the husband. Do we blame them, or their mothers?

    Beautiful image too, Amy! Wowzers! Those colours. Like nothing I’ve ever seen before!

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    1. Amanda, if only you knew the times I would have loved to konk that man on the head! His mother did him a great disservice by spoiling him and inadvertanly she hurt me. Never once when she was alive would she even listen if I even began to say anything … just OH AMY! In a voice that said I don’t want to hear your whining. Darn good thing I have a good sense of humor and know how to look the other way. IF I knew this about him, that he refuses to clean and he does not know how to organize OR prioritize, I would not have married him. His personal habits are very frustrating for an organized, neat person like me. And I thank you about this sunset. It was SO worth getting. I’m stunned by the colors in the skies lately!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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  10. That’s a beautiful photo, Amy. There are a bunch of things I don’t know how to do, and a bunch of things I could figure out, but probably wouldn’t do the way my wife would like. Shampooing the carpet is one of those things. The wood stove is another. There, she is convinced that I would burn the house down 🙂

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    1. There are a lot of things I don’t know how to do either, Dan, which hubby does. He really helps out a lot because he is the errand person including groceries and he cooks dinners. If I did not have the incredible responsibilities with what I do with these cats, things would be different. But they aren’t. He was a Mamma’s Boy which is not a good thing for she stifled his growth in so many ways. Moms mean well but they can go overboard leaving their children dependent and needy. Both hubby and I have come a long ways, believe me. And oh, before these cats came along, I really did do all the cleaning without thought of hubby doing it. That’s just the way I am. Now? Totally different story. 🙂 ❤

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    1. Amy, I cannot tell my hubby anything. He will only do something when he wants to. I ask him to fix something and it takes forever. I was elated he fixed my shampooer! He is a major procrastinator. You are lucky you have a hubby who listens. 🙂

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    1. Thank you on the funny, Alok. It’s a challenge to get humor in writing. It’s so much easier for me to tell a funny tale. And yes I did get lucky on those colors. It was as though God deliberately put them there for me to see. I was astonished to see them! ❤

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  13. Amazing photo Amy 🙂
    You are right, it demands a lot of will, for anyone to be willing to learn to do something new . I have heard from some men, that they are scared to try to help their wives, because they would do the things in a different way and then they would be blamed for that too.
    Good, that you found a way to go on.
    Love ❤

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    1. Some men have been so deeply engrained that housework is “woman’s” work, Irene. Hubby knows I’ll do it so he excuses away. It’s annoying and it could really get me upset but I will not allow it to. He does his part in his own way and what he does do I’m very very grateful for. 🙂 ❤

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  14. Oh Amy, the beauty from your kitchen is amazing. To live in such paradise must be testing you constantly 😀
    Mind you, the cord holder is a miracle too. After many, many years I finally saw that my wife (now ex), was exactly what I needed to step past my fears. She did everything that could possibly nudge me past them, all the while I ranted and raved that she was the curse of the female gender of this world 😀
    And as I understood my journey, of all the people on this planet, she was the one that loved me the most, helped me go past so much pain, and allowed me to find…me. Initially I resented it because of all she did…but in truth it was done so that I could ‘see’. And I even got to ‘see’ that I had in fact done exactly the same thing for her…in fact, we were the exact requirements for the job for each other, which left me stunned when I realised how beautifully it all fits together. Made me realise the magic of our creator, and just how beautiful the pain in this world is. And I mean that last statement…without this journey we would be very lost 😀
    May your sunsets and cord holding gentleman, be the blessings that they are 😀 ❤

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    1. What I LOVE most about my view out my back windows is there are no wires, no poles … just Nature. I am Blessed beyond all measure to have that view because my front view is riddled with wires and streets.
      Now to what you wrote about relationships … yes you are right on. The traits that irritate me the most in hubby are the exact things I need to address in myself. That takes a big person to admit because initially one tends to finger point … oh not me, never! LOL Right! I’m not responsible for hubby’s Lessons, only mine, so I have taught myself to focus on myself. Oh yes there come times when my patience is literally gone and I do say things. To live with a man who does not mind messes just about drives me nuts … me the neat and orderly sort. I do, he talks. I’m action, he procrastinates. I go, he sits. But turn the lens around to me and yep, those attributes point at me as well. God certainly does have a sense of humor. When we dated I was “blind” with “love” so did not see. When the rose colored glasses fell off I was aghast and very scared … WHO did I marry? Now I look back and can laugh.
      Thank you for sharing some of your Journey with me. I really pray that a day comes that hubby sees, Mark, and knows that there is really a better way to live life then in pain and fear. In the meantime, I am Heart who Loves All. (((HUGS))) ❤

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      1. Enjoy the journey kind lady. We will always mirror what we are…and even in those around us 😀
        Oh, and I’m jealous, out on my balcony is a lovely set of wires that go right through the middle of my ‘sunset’ shots…I’m tempted (sometimes) to accidentally burn the poles down 😀

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      3. That’s strange. No one else seems to have a problem. On every post except for those with comments closed, you will easily find many many many comments and under all those you will see where you can leave a comment. But first you have to click on the post in order to open it. 🙂 ❤

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      5. I’m not seeing this. You have to click on the title in order to get into the post. Once that opens you have to after reading the post scroll way down through many comments keft by others until you see a comment box that says Petals of Roses.

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  18. I understand your frustration with the era that raised us on gender-based division of labor, Amy. And the excuse that one cannot perform a task because “you do this so much better than I do”..that just doesn’t work after a while. I rallied so very hard against the stereotype for many years, won a few battles, compromised a lot. Then I had kids, and fell back into traditional roles as a stay at home mom. When I went back to work, it was tough to regroup. Now, in retirement, we share a lot more of household chores, but it seems, the ultimate responsibility is still mine.

    Note:The MIL expected so little of her 3 sons, it all fell on the 1 daughter, who rebelled, became a rocket scientist who hires household help. ☺

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    1. Aw, Van, I hear you, I really do! When first married it just was the thing to do, as I was taught. I honestly didn’t mind. Then life got complicated and I just couldn’t do it all myself. What some mothers did (do) to their sons is so wrong and really brings great harm later in life. I LOVE the idea of the rebel who hires household help. I did actually try that but the services did not clean or rather would not clean as I do so I fired them. Good luck getting good cleaning help! My Heart really goes out to you for only one who walks in someone else’s shoes understands. Since hubby has been retired the burden of responsibilities have shifted and he does do a lot. Just not cleaning. He’s allergic. LOL ❤

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      2. Yeah me too. Cleaning has got to be the most thankless job around and what is sparkling clean sure does not remain that way. I cannot remember a thank you coming my way for cleaning. Huh.

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    1. LOL Thank you, Helen. Men! Honestly! You’d think they were allergic to a dust rag or the vacuum. *sigh* But! Hubby really does a lot to help out … just not cleaning. And for this shot … thank YOU!! I could not believe the colors in the sky that evening! And just out my window!! Thank you, Mother, for the Gift!!! ❤

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    1. Um, yes this cleaning issue can get on my nerves IF I allow it to. I’ve learned to be responsible for what I can in this home and not fuss about the other stuff. There is no sense loosing energy over something I do not “control”. 🙂 ❤

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  23. Lovely photo Amy, and it’s a shame that many men are not taught how to clean or help in those ways. However, my dear husband always pulled his weight, until his health meant that he was not able. Now, he’s frustrated watching me rushing to complete everything myself, and feels useless. Nothing is exactly as we would like in this world is it? You are very patient though I think! Hugs xx

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    1. Oh, Chris, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. Life is so unfair sometimes as I well know. No, life is not exactly how we would want but we do gain wisdom, and strength, and grow from those difficult aspects of our lives. At least I know I do. My hubby does do all the errands, a great help, and he cooks our dinners as well as cleans up the kitchen afterwards. His definition of clean is not mine so I usually make sure the countertops and stove and sinks are really clean. Some Mom’s really do harm their children. And oh about that patience … I’m learning. 🙂 BIG (((HUGS))) ❤

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