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Scars Of Deep

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lr-1276

When scars of deep
wake you from a deep sleep
 pillows found drenched
as leaking eyes weep
dry those aching eyes
and hug that breaking Heart
knowing those scars of deep
will again fade
when Beauty is found
in the Joys of Life
~~~~

MF Macro Without Tripod Photography/ “Scars Of Deep” October 2016©AmyRose
@www.herladypinkrose.wordpress.com

As some of you know, I did not have a very good childhood.  I do not speak of this much for I do not believe in living in the past.  Yet this morning I was awoken very early with tears upon my pillow thinking of a time in my past that was extremely painful.  Instead of staying within that memory, I chose to get up drying my tears in the process and actually physically hugging myself.  I refuse to feel sorry for myself for I know without a shakable doubt, that all in my Life has been and is being used for Good.

So today I deliberately seek out Beauty and Joy.  I encourage any of you with painful pasts to let them go, know somehow that there truly is a Higher Good orchestrating throughout your Life.  We may not readily see it nor understand it, yet I know that I know, all things eventually work together for Good.  Please embrace Beauty and Joy with me this day!

Much Love,
❤ ❤ ❤

90 thoughts on “Scars Of Deep”

  5. You were conned out of a burden free childhood and at times this all comes up I am glad you are embracing your inner child but are also such a strong woman and always focused on keeping your eyes forward. Embracing you too, Amy 💖

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    1. I’ve promised myself I shake off this haunting, Erika. I don’t understand why this memory resurfaced but I know there is one. I know I am being used for Good yet the process itself was and still is at times, very painful. Bless you, dear friend. I do Love you! ❤

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      1. As Sylvester posted lately. We often think we are through, we learned the lesseon, we could let go. But then things are coming up for what reason ever and we see that there is still something left. But as you know there is a reason and it will lead you towards the place you are supposed to get. Love you too, my dear Amy 💖

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    2. Sometimes, dearest friend, the knowledge of what I lived through is almost too much for my tender Heart to bear. I deliberately surround myself with my gardens this day and get to blogging when I am ready. ❤

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      1. I am so sorry you had to go through so much. You found your way to detach from it and give your soul a break. And you know that here are so many who appreciate you so much for who you are – no matter what happened in the past! We love the Amy of today whatever made her this soulful person!

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      2. I Love the Amy of today, Erika, and I know it shows. All who come here validate my Life which is so important as you well know. I cannot turn to family for they hide their heads in the sand so it is those like you who assist me to get through and smile again. Do you know the Gift in all this? You are!! ❤

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      3. I hear you, Amy! It is not always the people who we think are supposed to give us the necessary ground again. But when you are turning your head towards the light the people you really need for a certain purpose always show up…. a divine gift, indeed 💖

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  6. The act of loving yourself is the truest form of good you can bring to this world. One at a time, each of us, loving ourselves through pain and regret, sadness and longing, instead of using addictions (any kinds, food, gambling, t.v., drugs etc…) to numb and abandon ourselves from those emotions. To live is to feel deeply, both the joys and the sorrows. It is how we hold ourselves in the dark that gives us courage in the light! Enjoy the beauty surrounding you and I will do the same. Love the falling of those flowers, your image gives beautiful detail to your poem and sentiments.

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    3. Carrie, you deserve a thoughtful response in turn from me to such words of utter kindness and wisdom. Oh yes, to Love oneself that is where one starts in order to Love others. Being taught but hate and pain as a child I did not know what Love was until much later in my Life. I was told no teachers but only to seek Within and listen to my Heart. Having only God as my Guide, I have been brought to Love and in so doing, have as a result reached out to so many here through my blog. Yet when the painful memories arise as they did this morning, they still are so painful. I still do not have the understanding as to why they arose but I am confident I will be shown. Thank you for leaving such a beautiful comment and for viewing my work. My photogrpahy mirrors who I am through the opening of my Heart. And many a time my wisdom sayings found here are words I hear and live. Bless you from the bottom of my Heart. (((HUGS))) ❤

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      1. Thank you for feeling so inclined to be so honest and write so deeply. I am sorry your childhood was filled with pain and hate, so troubling. It is clear that you live your life from a loving place and understand the gift of bestowing love from a tender honest place inward to yourself and outward as well. Thank you.

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    1. Doing my best to chase the goblins away, Brenda. As I told another friend, sometimes it is so difficult to bear what I lived through as a child. This memory came unpremeditated, and with it was such heart pain that was excruciating. As I am out in my gardens today that pain will be washed away and the understanding of what I saw will come as well. My weekend IS beautiful!! Much Love, ❤

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    1. Bless you, Dan. I’m about to go to my gardens as they are telling me time to do final pruning on most of the Roses and flowers. The sunshine and Beauty will chase the ghosts away. (((HUGS))) ❤

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  9. The blue popped out to me the minute your post appeared. So calming and smoothing. Of course I may be a bit prejudice since I love blue…lol. It’s hard going through everything when bad memories appear out of nowhere. Glad you hugged yourself. Sending more virtual hugs ❤ Love you ❤

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  10. Awwww big hug for you this morning, Amy. ❤ I know how that feels as I deal with it frequently. I've chosen to move forward as well and not dwell in the past. That's for me and my therapist LOL. But seriously, we are what we think….I want to think positively and try to make the most out of the time I have left on this rock.

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    2. You are both brave and smart, Laura, because the cesspool of painful pasts will only destroy you. I don’t stay here long, believe me, and I have yet to understand why this memory popped up but I will. I live and I live to the best of my ability!! BIG (((HUGS))) ❤

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    1. Thank you, YellowCable. I embrace all aspects of myself and sometimes the past does bubble up in order for me to heal more. My next post will balance out the sadness and have you laughing! Monday I think …. 🙂 ❤

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  13. Sending you the biggest bear hug I can give!! I understand your childhood…I had one of my own. And you arenxorrsct…it makes us who eenare…it took makes us able to feel other’s pain. Much love beautiful Amy…much love ♡♡

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    1. BIG (((HUGS))) in returen, Lorrie. I don’t understand yet why this particular memory bubbled up but I will. The key to all this is to get back up and continue to focus on the Beauty of Life. And you are so right …. my past enables me to understand others’ pain. Much Love to you ….<3

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    1. As of today I am laughing, LeeAnn. I started videotaping myself for one reason this evening, and before I got even 3 seconds into it I fell into helpless laughter. The harder I tried to stop, the more I laughed. And I was trying so hard to laugh quietly because the man, my husband is watching the news and no way do you interrupt that man watching the news, a very serious business. I’m laughing as I write. And because my allergies are so bad I laughed myself into an asthma attack. It was worth it. I feel lighter then air!!!!! ❤

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      2. I don’t laugh enough. I’m very tempted to put this video on my FB page because in viewing it you cannot help but laugh!! It’s hysterical!!! Oh man, I am a nut. Seriously, I laughed at myself and am thinking of showing this video just to get others to laugh. I may even put it on my blog. LOL OMGOSH, I’m rolling here with laughter!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

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    1. I don’t think anything is haphazard, John. It is only we who think it is. There is a pattern one that we always don’t see or understand but it does truly exist. What I deemed cruel one day I knew on another to be a Lesson for me to apply myself in a New Way. Life is complicated to say the least. 🙂 ❤

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  20. I’ve been reading books by Brene Brown recently and found it incredibly eye opening not only for myself but for our countries, our culture, our way of life. Just recently my past has returned to haunt me briefly and I realize now it has returned because I truly had not finished with it. Facing my shame I feel has been the hardest thing I have ever done, but if we don’t face it, it cannot heal. She is a brilliant author and more importantly, quite inspiring.You might want to look her up. The whole world needs to heal, it is weeping loudly and it is desperate for change.Lots of work to be done. May your day be loving and softly painted with joy. Blessings to you….VK ❤

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    1. I know of Brene Brown’s books and in fact have several of them. Yes I understand how this world needs healing in such a desperate way for I both see it and feel it. With childhood abuse comes shame, for the child is always made to feel guilty or as if there is something wrong with them that they deserve this treatment. Creating self-worth from out of ashes has been and still is, one of the most challenging things I have ever undertaken. May your day be Loving as well, VK!!! Mine certainly was! Thank you!! ❤

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  26. Wonderful advice dearest Amy.. Those who often go through their painful journeys are often the ones who emerge through being encased within their cocoons , who learn how to fly free and enjoy the beauty of the moment to surround them ,, Long may you keep flying Amy and sharing the joy of your love of our Earth Mother. xx Hugs Sue

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  27. Alice Miller, has said that most people’s childhood is a halocaust. Many pretend it was good, however, most are in denial when they say that.
    I think there is merit to what she said. Her own son, says that his childhood was that, this, from the child of the founder of “Family Systems Therapy”.

    While it’s essential to heal our past traumas, sometimes, crying and feels the pain can be the way to get over them too.
    I think whatever is the intuitive thing to do at the time is the healing choice. And that changes so it’s important to listen to that still small voiceless voice of intuition which is the guide.

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    1. I pretend nothing, Genie, and for this reason my family avoids me like the plague. I have been determined to rise about the atrocities and learn what Love is, and that is exactly what I have done and am doing. I listen to only One Source and that is Within. 🙂 ❤

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    1. Funny you should say this today because I just told someone it is yes best to forgive but it is also important to give voice to the hurt that person caused you. Locking up feelings is toxic. I pay a heavy price for voicing my feelings but I refuse to keep them tightly locked up. No way! ❤

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