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Forgiveness

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LR edited (1 of 1)-4

Not forgiving
for times long past
brings only hell
to the one
not forgiving.
Life’s too short
and too precious
to stubbornly insist
unforgiveness sticks.
~~~~~

In 1984, I had a NDE.  Much of what I experienced while in that state has been wiped from my memory.  One very strong Pearl of Wisdom I was given that I brought back with me and now today am sharing with you, is not to go to our deathbeds with unforgiveness on our Hearts.  We will regret it if we do.  We not only hurt ourselves by creating hell while still with breath, but we will be tortured at our Life Viewing that the opportunities we were given to forgive, we more times then not out of pride, refused to do.

In my humble opinion, it is not worth holding on to unforgiveness.

MF Macro Photography Without Tripod/ “Forgiveness” 2016©AmyRose
@www.herladypinkrose.wordpress.com

99 thoughts on “Forgiveness”

    1. Hi, Erika! You’ve been missed! Maybe in writing this the one I had in mind, will finally let go so life can be lived. The hell I have witnessed all (core issue) from unforgiveness. Bless you for this wonderful comment! ❤

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      1. Thank you, dear Amy! I missed you all too!
        I understand you well. We are stabbing ourselves and blame the other one for it. Forgiving is such a relief! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, dear Amy!

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  3. Hiya Amy.

    I have one where I will not forgive. This doesn’t play on me. I do know it plays on the individual I will not forgive.

    The only time there is ever thought on the matter is when I see some posts such as this. Reminders now and then to examine feeling are not bad things. Most of them I just blow right through. Yours, I pause and share.

    Forgiving in this instance would be exactly the wrong thing for me.

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    1. Gary, I can honestly understand where you are coming from. I have had horrific things happen to me at the hands of people who had only one thing in mind, and that is, to hurt me and hurt me deeply. I’ve learned that by forgiving (not forgetting) frees me from the anger that boils within. It also doesn’t mean that once you forgive you allow that person into your life. Oh no! I want nothing to do with those who hurt me, nothing, and I will not allow them into my personal life whatsoever. And this includes family.
      I am only with this message sharing with all here what I was told in my NDE and because of it, I began a very long, very intense Journey to forgive those who hurt me. Years and years worth. I thought I had forgiven and then another layer of rage surfaced which I had to deal with, to examine, and then again to let go and forgive. It takes a huge effort on our parts to forgive. And yes there have been instances people have deeply hurt those I Love, and still to this day I tremble and I want to go into rage but I won’t. My Heart is still, and my mind knows that somehow, someday, somewhere, those people will experience what was done to me and to those I Love for them to understand the wrong they committed. That is MY PEACE. (((HUGS))) Amy ❤

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    2. I’m sharing something with you that is very personal. My husband has not been able to forgive others and himself while in Vietnam fighting the war, and as a result, he continues to not forgive others or himself. He creates hell. He lives in hell. He won’t let the past go and as he gets older I see his mind just going. Living with someone who is in such torment is a far cry from easy, and there are times if it were not for the circumstances in my life, I would have given up on him and left. I know up close and personal the havoc unforgiveness causes. I know.

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      1. I’m not a Vietnam vet but I got one in the family. Mine’s mindset is different than yours. I recall with laughter because the man made us laugh about attending his weekly meetings.

        I’m not comparing them and I am wondering what that different thing is that allows one to, ahhhhh compartmentalize for lack of a better word in the moment that makes the coping different.

        I understand and appreciate everything you’ve shared.

        I don’t hate either. Hating is a wasted emotion. The ones being hated almost always don’t even care.

        Maybe laughter is the best medicine. So how how can poignant laughter be found for your guy?

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      2. He’s forgotten how to laugh, Gary. He just won’t forgive himself for killing. You have no idea the tears I’ve cried over this. Yet the Wisdom I have says neither I nor anyone else can help this man forgive. He and he alone must find that place within. I honestly don’t know why some can cope and others cannot. I believe it depends on the psyche. I must be very determined for I have not given up. I hope to one day see that smiling laughing man as I did when we first were married. I know it can happen. It’s as though he feels guilty for feeling good and being happy because he killed.

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      4. Hence, hell is created. Thanks, Gary, for the support. People don’t see the agony this man is in. I just won’t give up hope that some day a Higher Invention will happen and he will realize how precious life is and let go of all this guilt. I in no way understand what it feels like to kill and I do not wish to. Believe me, I do all I can to stay far away from him some days and to stay connected to Mother Nature and my camera to regain a breath of fresh air, to get reCentered, and to maintain my Peace, which is not easy to do while walking through fire. (smile) I must be working on my Wings this life. 😉 ❤

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      5. I don’t know. You might be on to something. You keep encountering a Fire Fight. I am so under qualified for this specific area. Finding a way to end the “Fire Fights”. No good for anyone.

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    1. Yes it is, Morgan, and in my opinion, it takes a courageous person to forgive someone who has hurt them very badly. I know it took me years to forgive some. Forgiveness is also a journey, different for each person. Love you! ❤

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      1. Forgiveness is a powerful thing, not only for the one offering it, but for those receiving it as well. (it is the crux of the Dark Fey story which will come to light in Book three!) 😉

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  6. I just had an experience yesterday with ‘unforgiveness’. I won’t launch into the whole story but…sheesh, I thought I was bad when it came to holding grudges. This guy had me by a mile and I didn’t even know he was upset with me. He certainly didn’t have a very good reason. Lovely picture as always!

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    1. I unforgiveness is like acid, Marissa. It burns. And when you come into the path of it, you feel it. I’m sorry you experienced this. Now perhaps you may understand that you were given an experience to really see how bad holding grudges is and what it does to a person. Please let yours go, dear friend. It’s just not worth it. You will free yourself in so many ways. That I do know. And by far it is not easy to forgive. Only the big and and the brave do so. I have every confidence you can. Love, Amy ❤

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      2. Be easy on yourself, Marissa. This is not easy stuff and it is a journey spread out over time. It took me decades to forgive my parents and that I do believe was the toughest one for me. Just know that when you make the decision to change the way you feel inside, it will happen. There is so much freedom when you do finally let go. (((HUGS))) ❤

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    1. A-ha! The conspiracy continues. Now I find YOU in my spam. What do you know? True words you speak, dear sister. Yes forgiveness gives freedom that leads to Peace. Have a restful and Peaceful day!!! ❤

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  9. This topic always brings up mixed feelings, not so much for me but in general. Some things do seem unforgivable. For these situations, I like to think of it as releasing instead of forgiving. It’s semantics really, yet forgiving can feel like letting someone off the hook for a horrific act. No matter what we call it, letting go of the anger, resentment, pain, etc., is the goal. Excellent reminder of the freedom that comes with letting go. 💜

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    1. Whatever name you put to it, Ashley, you are right, it is a letting go of the “grudges”, the anger, the hate, and in doing so your life becomes more Peaceful. I also agree there are things that seem impossible to be forgiven. I’ve lived through several of those and I can also think of certain things in past history that to me I honestly don’t know how people can forgive. This is not easy to do, and it took me years to forgive certain people. To this day my knee jerk reaction sometimes is to take back that anger, but I will not allow it to enter my Heart, for once I do I again am poisoned. (((HUGS))) ❤

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  10. Forgiveness can happen in many ways, Amy. I once wrote a letter to someone who damaged me. I never sent it. I tried to understand where the hurt originated, and I came to know that. But, I was able to forgive in my own spirit and move on. I still don’t have a relationship with the perpetrator, and that’s okay. For both of us.

    Just wanted to share. This is a powerful and important post. Thanks. ❤️ 💛 💙 💜 💔

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    1. Good for you, Van! I am proud of you for finding the way that works for you to let go the pain caused by another. As I say forgive but don’t forget. I also say once you forgive that does not mean you must allow that person who hurt you into your life. No. Most of my perpetrators are nowhere near me, and that is the way it will remain. Others, I have taken the huge decision to allow them in my life, BUT if I see any kind of behavior that is meant to hurt I call them on it. I don’t recommend this for everyone. Thank you for your heartfelt comment. Bless you, Van. (((HUGS)) Amy ❤

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    1. Unforgiveness is like poison, an acid that just rots away anything it touches. The only way to move forward is to let go and forgive. So not easy when atrocities have been done. I myself did not understand this concept many years ago until I put into practice, to forgive. Thank you, Monica, for your added thoughts. Bless you! ❤

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  12. Such truth in your words of inspiration.
    Forgiving allows me to let go of the past and live in the joy and sunshine of today.
    Hugs Amy.
    Ruth

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  13. This is something I’m working on in my life. Oddly enough I was just expressing this to a friend of mine. I love what you said here: “We not only hurt ourselves by creating hell while still with breath…” Those are such powerful words Amy! Well written and beautiful photo to accompany the words. 🙂

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    1. Laura, only with courage and time can one forgive. It is a journey. It took me years to forgive certain people and I still have moments I’m tempted to get back into the anger. It’s not easy to do. I encourage you to let go when you can, dear friend. Remember it is a process so it just won’t happen voila! I am so touched by your comment and everything you said that I have tears in my eyes. Bless you with all my Heart. (((HUGS))) Amy ❤

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      1. Thank you so much Amy for sharing. I’m just trying to “be” instead of anything else. It’s when I don’t have expectations or hold onto anger when I can allow forgiveness to enter my heart. BIG HUGS BACK!

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  14. Beautiful picture and such true words. I have had to do that over the years. They are not in my life but I have forgiven them because I agree that it is like poison to hold onto to the anger. Sorry for all the hurt you have experienced. Hugs ❤

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    1. Kathy, thank you for your compassion. I’ve been thinking about something lately, questioning what I do here. My “quiet conversation” told me I am qualified because I have walked or am walking what I say. There are countless lessons that come out of hurt. No I’d rather not be hurt but that is a part of Life that ALL of us encounter. Life is complex and at times makes no sense yet when all the dust settles you can see straight again. Thank you for your wonderful comment! I really hope your pain level is down by now and that you had a good day!!! (((HUGS))) ❤

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      1. Yes, you really walk the walk and your words are so true. I agree that it is better to not be hurt but life is that way. Yes, my pain level is down but we go back tomorrow to see him…lol. Thanks for asking my dear friend!!!! Hugs, Amy ❤

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  15. Very nice, Amy. I always remember a visiting priest who had to give the “forgiveness” sermon. He pointed out that we benefit from forgiving others. He added: “forgiving them doesn’t mean you have to invite them to dinner.”

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    1. Sounds to me like he is a very wise man, Dan. Most of who I have forgiven are not in my life, nor do I plan on having them around. It’s not my idea of fun to pick scabs off of healed wounds. Hope you had a good day today! 🙂 ❤

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      1. By recognizing & understanding the nature of our suffering
        we can truly cultivate compassion, Amy.
        Pain & suffering can be important teachers.
        Aware of the suffering in ourselves & others helps us live in such a way
        that transforms suffering into happiness. As Thich Nhat Hanh says,
        “no mud, no lotus”

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      2. That is exactly what I thought you meant, David. I’ve been really thinking upon what you said. I know for a fact that without the suffering in my Life it would have been impossible for me to cultivate Compassion. I understand what it is like to suffer so therefore my Heart is able to embrace someone who is suffering.
        Thank you for taking the time to further expand upon your thoughts. I really appreciate it. May you have a very Blessed weekend. Peace, dear friend. Love, Amy ❤

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  19. Beautiful words Amy and I love the picture. The flowers really speak to me. When I travelled to Bali over 3 years, I had an experience with forgiveness, mostly realising I needed to forgive myself and in doing so I was able to rid my body of physical pain. For such a long time after the trip because it was such an intense time, I felt like I was feeling the after effects of an NDE although it wasn’t an NDE as such I went through.It’s made me want to live every day… really live. Lots of love, Lisa

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    1. Sometimes, Lisa, forgiving ourselves in the most difficult to do. Yes in letting go that in of itself can create a state of Bliss. I’ve experienced exactly what you speak of. Thank you for sharing a part of you. I am honored. Love, Amy ❤

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  20. your verse, your photo …. so lovely and true;
    wouldn’t it just be glorious, if we could all just get along!
    I read something 2-3 days ago, that sticks in my head – it said – we aren’t punished FOR our anger and rage ….but that we are punished by Our Anger and Rage. that fascinated me. and sunk in!!
    your post on Forgiveness. is a great, reinforcement. 🙂 hugs, cheers, love and peace Amy!!

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    1. Ah, yes, Debi, so true. The inner tormentor truly is the worst and it can send one tumbling into madness. I’ve seen it both in my personal life and what is happening in the world today. There is no better way to live when one attains Peace, yet in attaining that Peace, it is a constant effort at times to keep it. Thank you for adding your thoughts. I really appreciate it. ❤

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  25. Agree with you on not holding on. If we do, we hold sort of a grudge and that can eat at us and wear us down. The least can we do is let go and move on, focusing on what makes us beautiful and what makes the world around us beautiful. Beautiful photography as always 🙂

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  30. I agree totally, Amy. Forgiveness is so misunderstood. It’s not that we condone what happened, but we will not allow that transgression to poison our moments. Wonderful post. ❤

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    1. Forgiveness is usually associated with “religion” and that is just not the case. I’m glad you understand and I truly thank you for leaving such a wonderful comment. May you have a great weekend!!! ❤

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  34. I am sometimes too forgiving and have to say I am getting stronger as I grow older, Amy. I have two brothers who think I say “I’m sorry” too much and allow people to walk over me.
    I came up recently with this new idea: letting go is my best choice. In letting go of hurts or transgressions, doesn’t mean the forgiving part is necessary.
    Maybe I am wrong but by forgiving someone, it places power on the pain, instead of placing power in being Peaceful.
    When you have a chance, you can help straighten me out, if I am wrong. I value your journey and what you have overcome, Amy. hugs xo ❤

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    1. Robin, I still am breaking the habit of saying I’m sorry too often. My family tend to use me as a door mat and I have been breaking this pattern where I feel guilty. No! I owe no one an explanation or the words “I’m sorry” just to keep the peace, or me thinking again I messed up. Now before I say those words I stop myself. And really assess the situation. The more I do not say “I’m sorry” in situations that do not really call for saying those words, the stronger I get with confidence that I truly was not in the wrong and have nothing to be sorry about. Now, when I act or say something from a place not of Love, I know it and that is when I do apologize, following it up with something like …. I’m just so blazing tired my mouth got the better of me. We caretakers and those of us who were taught to people please automatically say, “I’m sorry” too often, thereby shifting the “blame” onto our shoulders without cause. I just did this the other day, dear friend, so I am still learning. One of my brothers from out of the blue, who I have not heard from in many months, sent me a very generic text. Immediately I felt guilty for not staying in touch and found myself saying “sorry” and felt obliged to explain why I had not stayed in touch when I wasn’t even in the wrong. My Life is so demanding right now that I really do not have the time to deal with dysfunctional family, no do I care to, yet here I was apologizing. My family has no real interest in what I do. So, we learn, we grown, we fall, we get up, assess why we fell, and try not to repeat the fall again. It’s a process, a journey, and it isn’t easy because instinctively we just want to say “I’m sorry”. In catching ourselves before we say those words we grow. (((HUGS))) and I hope I’ve helped. Love, Amy ❤

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