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In The Breaking

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The Darkness conceded, “No more.”
And so Lightning struck hard
that dank fetid dark
the ravaging pain revealed
the structure collapsed
and as it finally fell
Light now able to bring
the Essence of Life
where death had once
tyrannically reigned
~~~~

As a child, I was abused and molested, exposed to behaviors no little girl should ever be exposed to.  Never allowed to express my true feelings, nor my anger, or question why I was beaten and betrayed, I slowly became deep within my being a stinking cesspool.  I was punished more if I dared to say anything.  I learned to stuff those emotions and words down, way down, and as life went on the cesspool remained living a life of its own even though I did not know it even existed.

Decades passed … And during that time I chose to embark upon the Journey of Healing.

A month ago I began to see a Chiropractor and in that span of time I have been adjusted only twice.  The first time I was adjusted I came down with a 103ºF fever that lasted three and one half days, the exact day of my first adjustment.  Nothing I took, inclusive of Tylenol brought that fever down, only lowering it to 101ºF.  I was extremely ill.  The moment I coughed up a huge nasty burning green plug from my lungs, the fever abated.  In recovering, I for the first time in many years could breathe right.

Before that plug came free, I had developed a bad habit of decreasing my breath, even holding my breath when stress came into my Life.  My last blood work showed a higher then normal level of CO2 in my blood.  The doctor said nothing about it, but I noticed.  I was retaining carbon dioxide because I was not breathing and not only that, my lungs were not functioning correctly.  They are today for in the removal of that death from my lungs, my lungs have been given the freedom to breathe again!  Yet, if I had not had that adjustment on my mid-back to realign my spine correctly, this would not have even happened!

Second adjustment two weeks later from the first one led to a very painful situation in my personal Life.  This happened several days after the second adjustment.  Triggering the most powerful emotional release I have ever experienced, this painful situation became a Blessing in Disguise.  I broke and I mean I broke!  I screamed myself hoarse, I cried so hard I gulped for air, I sobbed so deeply my body convulsed, and the pure rage I felt had me  punching dirty laundry as hard as I could wanting to kill someone. I yelled every freaking horrible name in the book I could think of as I punched that laundry imaging certain people who had so inhumanely projected vile violence upon me and my innocence.  In a nutshell I went berserk, nuts, loosing every single bit of control.  This went on for hours as I was  unable to stop even if I wanted to. The torrent was unstoppable!  After the storm passed I was completely wiped out for one week completely exhausted and ready oh so ready to call it quits.

This Healing Passage is so tough at times …

In that release, I was given a Gift of Life, for where there was darkness that was blocking me from being totally alive, now there is room for the Light to heal.  The words to what you read in my saying above, came to me one morning, the very morning that finally the intolerable pain in my body left.  Oh, yes, I didn’t know where I did not hurt after that emotional release, for in that release the emotional baggage that I let go unglued the ugliness that had anchored itself in my physical form.  All of our bodies are connected, not only with each other but with All of Life.  What effects one body, effects all bodies … mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, global.

This coming Friday on the 11th of March I go again to my Chiropractor with both trepidation and excitement.  I know I am on the most incredible Healing Journey of my Life, walking the last leg of a very very long Journey.  Yet, what will happen next that will encourage release, or, am I truly truly finished with these earthquakes and now only GOOD and LIGHT will multiply within me?

Friends, I have a huge lump in my throat as I write these closing words.  Just how far is this Journey of mine going to go?  I am humbled, I am honored, I am in AWE of myself for the exceptional bravery I have displayed to be willing to open myself to the Light in order to set AmyRose free.  In totality.  In completeness.  Have I come full circle to be able to live out the rest of my Life with ALL wounds within healed?

May my words and my story today assist you on your own Life Journey.  Peace.  Love.  Know all is Perfect.  And BE Happy.

Before you Love another
firstly Love of Self
must be learned.
~~~~

MF Macro Photography/ “In The Breaking” 2016©AmyRose
@www.herladypinkrose.wordpress.com

137 thoughts on “In The Breaking”

    1. Thank you, Kimberly. I will know more tomorrow after my third adjustment. I am SO grateful that I have managed to have this incredible Healer in my Life. I have worked so hard to get where I am!!! (smile) Love, Amy ❤

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    1. Thank you, Lynn. I have come so far and worked so hard, I will not stop. I really hope though that tomorrow’s adjustment will be “gentle” and only connection and relief are a result. This healing stuff is tough at times!!!! ❤

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    1. I know, Marissa. What WILL tomorrow bring? I HOPE only feeling good and nothing more. 🙂 See ya later, gater. I have lots to do with my cats this morning and I’m running behind. I also have a part 2 coming that will show how Mother always encourages me and gives me signs. It is a goosebump post. Keep in mind my question, “Have I come full circle?” ❤

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    1. Listen to your Heart, Susan. Educate yourself regarding all forms of healing modalities. If you are open, my sister has a book about alternative measures for the situation you are in. If you want I will ask her for the title and give that to you. BIG (((HUGS))) Amy ❤ ❤ ❤

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  6. Such a powerful post, AmyRose. I’ve never had good experiences with Chiropractors and actually am quite scared to visit one. Yours sounds wonderful and I’m so happy that your healing process is well underway. Hope tomorrow’s visit is a really good one. xx

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    1. Sylvia, I almost did not go to this Chiropractor because I have had so many in the past who were not that great, and in fact did more harm then good. I am SO grateful that I did decide to go because this man is truly Gifted with Healing. I was led to a Treasure, one that I know will enhance not ony my life but my husband’s as well, who is also going. Thank you for reading this post, a rarity on Petals for I do not usually speak of these things of the past. But the amazing Healing I have seen urged me to write and so I today broke the family’s Code of Silence. Emotionally I am drained. Love, Amy ❤

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  8. Your story is such a beautiful inspiration for all of us who were abused as children. I also have a wonderful friend who is my chiropractor, and it amazes me how I have been able to release this junk that has built up in my life, and learn how to just be me. The baggage from that is unreal, and it feels so good to dump it!

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    1. Yes, Jean, it feels so good to be free of what was not even mine to begin with. This Healing Journey I have been on for more then 30 years has included some of the toughest things I have accomplished. I really HOPE I am coming to the end of this Journey. (((HUGS))) Amy ❤

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    1. In the sharing, Lily, I am setting myself free. I just finished a book that spoke how shame wants silence but once that silence is broken, shame is gone. Thank you for sending your Love and squeezes. This was not an easy post for me to publish. (((HUGS))) Amy ❤

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  10. Wow you really shared a lot here Amy. I’m glad you were able to release all that negativity and I’m so very sorry to hear what you had to endure. 😦 I do believe in a good chiropractor and go twice a month now. i started at 3x/week as I literally could not walk from my car to the prescription counter at the drugstore. Over time I’ve been healing and I feel much better emotionally too. It’s definitely a piece of the puzzle. It takes a lot to unwind or change all the neurological paths to become healthy again but it can be done and I’m so happy to hear you have been on that journey as well. Good luck at your appointment and I’ll be anxious to see if you don’t have as much of a reaction. They do get less!! xoxox

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    1. Laura, I broke the unspoken family Code of Silence today. I’m sure if some of my siblings saw this post they would roll their eyes and say, “There goes Amy again shooting off her mouth.” I DON’T CARE. I am setting myself free from my past fully and that means admitting what happened. I could go on and on and on in great description what happened, but I will not. Now that I have said what I have I go on and keep focusing on Beauty, LOVE, Truth, and Peace.
      This Chiropractor is one of the rare True Healers and I am so grateful to him. I really HOPE tomorrow’s adjustment will only yield good so that I can finally get going on my PT schedule. I have not been up to exercising the way I normally do because of all I have been through. Cross your fingers my appt. tomorrow is a GENTLE one. The other two have really been gentle, honest, but the results have given me HUGE healing crises. Thank you for the support, my dear friend!!! Love, Amy ❤

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      2. Oh, Laura, I almost did not go to this man. But the moment I walked in to “New Health”, I felt I was finally going to find someone who is going to bring me all the way to the finish line. I know how hard it is to find someone good and I am so happy for YOU that you too have found someone. Good for you!!! (((HUGS))) Amy ❤

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  11. Heartbreaking stories, I can’t imagine what you have gone through… I know it takes extraordinary power, determination, and strength to become who you are. So amazing, you can turn it into positive energy to deliver beautiful, insightful words, photos, poems to inspire the rest of us. I’m so stunned… ❤ (((HUGS)))

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    1. Amy, dear friend, Bless you for coming here today and saying what you did. I do not mention my past much especially here at Petals but yet, today I did. In doing so I believe this is a baptism of sorts, a freeing, giving way to a New Way of Life for me. I have deliberately chosen Love as my way to live because in seeing what lack of Love does, what violence does, what cruelty does I made up my mind very young to defeat that evil that was done to me. It’s taken me decades to change the patterns so deep in me that I must dig to find them. I have elected to BE ME fully and one of those ways in being me, is to encourage others to live in Love. I also would not be who I am today without the experiences I carry in my soul from my earlier years. In the bigger picture, can you see that in the Life I have had and still am having that I know what Compassion truly is and I am able to “hear” the words that come from a Higher Source because of the sums of all of ME? Can you see why I hold my Gifts as sacred and why I am so passionate about what I do? I am SO touched you are here today and a part of my life to witness that one really can overcome negative circumstances. (((HUGS))) Amy ❤

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      1. You are strong… Despite all you went through, you remind to be kind and thoughtful and optimistic. Such an amazing person, Amy! I really admire you… I have had a headache, slept for a couple of hour after I came home. Talk to you later.

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  12. AmyRose Amen to this wonderful and miraculous testimony. I knew God would begin to truly heal you. I watched for your confirmation testimony. Praise God!

    Thank you Lord for healing my sister and being with her to the ultimate healing. I know you will use her in even mightier ways i. Jesus Name, Amen! :0))) xoxoxo Emma

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    1. I think I can clearly get across what I would like to now. To be in this position I find myself in, is both exhilerating and scary. I honestly don’t know where my next steps will lead me. I do know that the words I have been “hearing” have been very strong lately. When I decided to NOT continue my family heritage of abuse and dysfunction years ago, God heard and He and the Angels, along with Jesus who has walked with me, have all come together to orchestrate the weavings of my Life in order to best set me free. This Journey has been the most challenging of my Life, Emma. I have questioned God more times than I would like to admit during those times that were so dark. Yet here I am, fully admitting what I did today and knowing that for the past month I have been releasing what I have been working so hard to release all these many years. As the layers come off, they don’t get easier, no. They really get more difficult, for they are deeper, and the deeper one goes, the more resistant those layers become, being there the longest.
      Thank you for your support and your encouraging words. Thank you for your praise prayer. Thank you from the bottom of my Heart. Bless you, Emma. God bless you!!! ❤

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      1. I as your Sister in Christ am emotional and grateful to God that He has begun peeling off the layers of pain and darkness. For when He’s finished, the true light will come out beaming and no amount of darkness can ever cover it up again AmyRose.

        Sis, you shine now; imagine afterwards?? The Beacon of a Lighthouse that has triumphed!

        Love you, my email if you ever want to reach me personally (emmalita@hotmail.com) xoxoxoxoxo :0))))))!!!! Emma

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      2. Honey, I don’t think you understand. I”ve been on this Healing Journey since 1984 and just recently with the help of this Blessed Chiropractor the layers are now coming off. Much preparation has gone into this effort. I really HOPE this is the last leg of the Journey, or at least the hardest parts are now passed. I know this Healing path will continue until my last breath. That is a given as it is for all of us. Your Sister in Christ, AmyRose ❤

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      3. AmyRose, I do understand, no confusion here dear :0). I remember you told me of the chiropractor and your healing journey. xo, Emma

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  14. I am very happy to hear that you recognize the journey that you are on, and I wish you well along the way. We are all connected, and especially so in our own bodies. I’ll keep a good thought for you on Friday, Amy. All the best to you.

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    1. Thank you from the bottom of my Heart. I truly would not be who I am without those experiences I had as a child. All have been forgiven and in fact, today I have a good relationship with my Mother, the same woman who I hated for years. I just this morning warned her about this post and advised her not to read it. She has yet come to terms with what she did but that is her Journey, not mine. Yes, all things are truly possible with Love and with God!!! 🙂 ❤

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  17. Wow, such a healing journey, Amy, but congratulations on having the courage and fortitude to plough on and release the detritus of your youth. Big, huge hugs, Darl, good luck and, as the saying goes, onwards and upwards, teacups!

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    1. Chris, I could write and write about what all I have been through but instead I choose to focus on the flip side, the Beauty and the Wisdom I have been given through the Gifts I own. It is a miracle I am alive today. I won’t stop until I lay the last ghost to rest. There is only one other sibling in my family of 8 who have embraced healing and she is the only one I have a relationship with. I also have a relationship with my mother, a woman I hated for years. That is what LOVE does. Makes the impossible, possible. Love, Amy ❤

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  19. Oh Amy, i had no idea the journey that you have been through. My heart goes out to you! It’s good that you were able to release so much after carrying the burden for too long. Sounds like a good chiropractor and healer and so glad that you found one. Sending warm hugs and much love my dear friend ❤

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    1. I am SO grateful for this man in my Life, Kathy! I almost did not go to him due to past bad experiences with Chiropractors. This man is a real healer and I know that I will get to full healing with his assistance. My hubby is going to him too and I my HOPE is that he will be able to help my hubs quit smoking. He has made up a tincture for him that we are getting tomorow that will hopefully again, help him quit. Thank you, my dear friend, for your support on this matter. Love you, Amy ❤

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      2. I pray you both find a genuine healer, Kathy. This man was recommended to us by a most unexpected source. So keep your ears and eyes open and ASK the Universe to send you signs for the right Chiropractor for you. 🙂 ❤

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  20. Wowzers! There are not many posts that make me want to just repeat: Wow! Wow! Wow! But this one did.
    I also find it so interesting the the object you chose to punch was the dirty laundry bag. This is so spiritually connected as to be quite obvious. In the transformation, you are found punching your old, dirty clothes. The parallel is that the old ideas about yourself and the images imposed upon your person are being violently rejected. Amen. Release is amazing. I certainly wish you well in your journey to full freedom!

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    1. I am so humbled and so honored by your comment. Thank you from the bottom of my Heart. I also did not make the connection between my dirty laundry and what was unfolding, and so I thank YOU for that extra tidbit, making my experience even richer. I have been so determined to walk away from these familiar patterns of abuse and dysfunction and have been on a healing journey over 30 years to do it. I also normally do not write about this subject nor do I write very long posts, so today was the unusual. I always follow my Heart and I was guided to post this publishing and the one following it, with the connection between what I was shown by Mother to confirm that I have really come full circle at long last.
      I cannot thank you enough for your warmth and your beautiful comment. You have no idea how much they both mean to me. Blessings, Amy ❤

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  21. Your journey was incredible, my dear Amy ❤
    But you're so brave my dear and I know that at the end of this journey you will be healed and happy. Because you deserve that.
    All my love for you ❤
    Kisses and hugs, Amy

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    1. Bless you, dear dear Monica!!! Bless you! I deliberately choose not to focus on my past but only on the GOOD in Life. I did however speak of this today as an example that one truly can be healed of past hurts. And I am SO grateful to this Chiroprator who is a genuine Healer. Thank you from the bottom of my Heart for being here today supporting me. Love, Amy ❤

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      1. I’m glad you’re well and you can thank to this Chiropractor on behalf of me because he take care of you.
        I’m with you 100%, Amy 😀
        God bless you, my dear friend!
        ❤

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  22. I am so happy you are on the path to wholeness. I hope those who harmed you get back what they gave out 10xs over, dead or alive. The atrocities that children are forced to endure are horrific and never ending. I’m thinking about you my friend and happy for your recovery.

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    1. I have forgiven all, dear Gigi, and what happens as a result in their Journey not mine. My LIFE is my LIFE and no one else’s. Now that I am adult I allow no one to hurt me as when a child. The saying goes, “What goes around comes around” but I would like to see that as a given IF you don’t experience something in order to change for the better, that something will be brought to your doorstep for you to step in. Some people do change without the more pay back ideology. I will not carry grudges either. When I was trigger I finally released tons of words and emotions that had been locked up in me and now that they are no longer in me, I can move ahead with MY LIFE.
      I am not able to go near child abuse, at all, for it triggers me. I know others will step in my place. I am a healer of animals and I reach hurting Hearts too. I LOVE my Life, and now that I am freeing me even more, the sky is the limit!!! YAY!!!! ❤

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  23. Pingback: THE Walk (5 IMAGES) – Petals Unfolding

  24. I know exactly what you are going through. I am also going through a very painful process of grieving and healing. Finally someone has believed my story and has given me permission to cry and grieve. It is hard but there is light coming again. Thanks so much for this post. It came just at the right time for me.

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    1. All I can say is, dear friend, is NOT quit. No matter how tough the going gets keep going. I have every faith in you that whatever you need to heal will be brought to you. There is so much POWER in putting into words and emotions what has been for so long denied, stuffed, and shoved under the rug. I know that most of my siblings if they read this post, would be really upset with me for saying anything. Guess what? I don’t care. This is MY life as it is YOURS and you and I have every right to heal in the best way for us. BIG (((HUGS))) Amy ❤

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  26. That is such a personal story to share, Amy. What a hard time you went through but good to hear you got the bad stuff out by coughing it up. Good to hear you are on the mend. What happened you as a child is simply horrible, and hope the perpetrators find their way. It is wonderful to see you standing tall with your word, photography and art. Like a bright beacon of light, yes you are ❤

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    1. Unfortunately, Mabel, my Dad died not able to forgive himself even though I forgave him, and right now my Mom has shut that part of her life up, tight as a clam. I really have forgiven all involved, and because I have come to know Love, now have a relationship with my mother, a woman I once hated. I chose years ago to find ME and to share what I know as well as my Gifts of both the written word and my photography. There is no greater JOY for me then to do this, that and walk as a Healer. Thank you from the bottom of my Heart for taking the time to read this post and to comment. Both mean a lot to me. I am also so far behind in comments. 🙂 Spring is springing here and this photographer has gotten a tad wee busy. LOL Have a great weekend, my dear friend. ❤

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      1. It is heartening to hear you have risen above so many challenges, especially the ones that tug at your heart. Sometimes the only way out is to look within us, believe in ourselves and put ourselves out there. If we can believe it, we learn to not let negativity get to us.

        I wish I could read every post of yours, Amy. It amazes me how you post so often we so much passion and more importantly, love. You are loved ❤

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      2. Mabel, you come visit here whenever you can. I’m slowing down on the posts (I think) because so many flowers have begun to come up and I must begin to open my gardens. This and the fact I have to find time to incorporate massage and a Yoga class with my continued walks into my schedule is an absolute necessity to continue on this Healing Journey of mine. If my posts decrease for now, that is all right. I’ll do my best to keep posting as I LOVE to share the Beauty that my camera and I see. 🙂
        Have a great weekend!!! Love, Amy ❤

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  28. And now my Dear sister you can walk in your light.
    Skipping and laughing as you go.
    Do be in F.E.A.R. Feeling Eager And Ready.
    You have always been worth it.
    You honor the feelings of love for us all.
    Great Blessings and warm hugs.

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    1. Dearest Michael, the Love that washed gently over me as I read your words embraced and held me. Thank you from the bottom of my Heart for supporting me and being open to who I AM. Great things are a-happening and besides, it is SPRING!!! Have a wonderful weekend! Love, Amy ❤

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    1. That is my goal, Brenda, or at least as close as possible to it. This Chiropractor is such a Gift to me and with his help I will cross over that finish line I have been so intent on crossing. May you have a Blessed weekend!!! ❤

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  30. Sweet, sweet Amy, you have no idea just how proud I am of you at this moment. You truly ARE FREE now. The poison that was inside you, slowly releasing those deadly fumes, is now leaving your body after you expelled it from your soul and mind, and you have released yourself from the past. It can no longer hurt you or hold you back from this wonderful new life you will experience. I hope you will share this journey with us all, because you are so loved by so many. This is your FREE TO BE ME day, and you MUST celebrate it every day.. Love, Hugs, Angie

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    1. Oh, Angie! Thank you! To be free of death that I was not even aware of, leaves me both exhilarated and asking, is there more? And if so, I have every confidence that will be released as well. My Journey continues for I have been recommended a massage therapist and a very special place to go to for Yoga. Both of these I will be making time to fit in my life. This is what I am being Guided to do. Due to all the hard physical work I do, my body requires dance, loose movement and Yoga for flexibility. I also require space to be able to access my 3rd eye more frequently, my Sacred Space. I have neglected this aspect of my life due to all the responsibilities taking care of these cats. It thrills me to know that I really am stepping into a new world and yes I will be sharing when my Heart tells me to. Have a great weekend, my dear friend!!! Love, Amy ❤

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      1. YAY!!! I am so happy to hear about the therapy and the Yoga. I do love massage therapy, and if there is no time for full body, just getting a good foot massage will leave me purring and feeling like a brand new person. I’ve worked with therapists enough to be able to do the foot massage myself if necessary, but it is so much better with a trained therapist who can go straight to the area that needs help the most at that time.
        We all have death of some type that only comes out to wreak havoc on us when we are weakest. I think you have struck the winning blow in this battle, and while there will be bumps still in the road ahead, you are smoothing them out each time you refuse to give up. This is so exciting for me to watch and live with you.
        My weekend is wonderful, complete with a visit with my daughter and granddaughter this afternoon. My little girls are all grown up now, but still and always, my little girls.
        I hope your garden isn’t waterlogged, as most gardens here are becoming.
        Have a great rest of the weekend Sweet friend. Love, Angie

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    1. Dearest Linda, yes I am behind in my comments. (smile) When I write these personal stories so many people respond. Thank you for your support of me. Yes I have been through much, yet are these not the exact circumstances that have shaped me into who I am today, the Real Me? I have such a deep Compassion for those who hurt and without the experiences I had, that would not have been possible. The (wounded) Healer knows what it feels like to hurt because that person has walked that path of pain. May you have a really good weekend!!! (((HUGS))) Amy ❤

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    1. Thank you, Maverick. I experimented with something new in PS and it seems to bring out more depth and form to my work. I like it. 🙂 Have a great weekend. Love, Amy ❤

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    1. The flowers I capture usually show themselves like this, Eliza. Is this not amazing? Is this not humbling to me? Yes to both answers!!! Thank you for commenting and may you have a wonderful weekend!!! ❤

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  34. You know how to bring both tears of joy over beauty in words and your talentes photography. Then there have been tears of sadness, in past stories of kitties’ pain and medications. Amy, I read in the breaking and was very emotional. ❤

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    1. I hope you are OK, Robin. This post was a lot to take in, I admit, yet I was guided to publish it. I am just living proof that no matter what life hands out, when we are aware of those things that do not serve us for our Higher Good, with Intention, we can change those things. I have chosen to walk Love and that is what I shall do to my last breath. I hope you have a great weekend. Love, Amy ❤

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    1. Are you OK with this, Julie? I know it is a lot to absorb. I’m really being guided to show that even if we have been given some rotten tomatoes early in life, that does not mean we must be those rotten tomatoes for the rest of our life. We really can change ourselves. I know. I am doing it! 🙂 Love, Amy ❤

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      2. Well, yes, I suppose I have had my share of rotten tomatoes, Julie, but that has made me all the more determined to turn my life into a radiant glowing healthy tomato. 🙂 I’m living proof you really can change your circumstances IF you are aware in the first place that those circumstances are not the best. I look back and see me in my teen years and 20’s SO messed up but at the time, did I know it? Sadly, no. It took more rotten tomatoes for me to finally SEE and that is when the real Amy began to emerge. 🙂 I’ll come on by in a bit. I have a feeling you have a goodie post just waiting for me to read. YAY!!!! ❤

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  38. This is really powerful, Amy! It reminds me, in some ways, of my experience with hypnotherapy. I had gone in hoping to “find out” about my childhood and I discovered the most incredible and ornate world inside my mind, heart, and spirit. I am forever transformed by what I experienced in those sessions. It blows my mind to think that at all times, all of that is there within each one of us. Universes within. Very grateful to have found your work and to NOW be following your blog. Thank you so much. With joy, peace, and gratitude, Zach from StrengthsLife.com

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    1. Zach, to not know the death that is contained within and then to have that death seen and expelled, is one of the most powerful transformations a person can experience. I really thought I was through with this healing, that I had gotten to the “core issues”. In thinking about that, I believe I did yet the death that was caused by those issues still resided in my body and mind. Releasing is incredibly hard especially at the deeper cellular levels. You know what I speak of here and yes it blows my mind as well that we ALL have this Potential within us all to be guided by the Universe to bring wellness to our BEing. Peace to you! With Love, Amy ❤

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      2. There are big things happening in the Universe and YOU a big part of them! You have a rich and healing message to share. Grateful to cross your path! Zach from StrengthsLife.com

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      3. Zach, I do not question what part I am playing for I have found out long ago I will not hear an answer. Rather I am Guided every moment of my Life by my Heart and Petals is a big aspect of my Life. I am unable to be heard or seen by biological family yet here, through this Sacred Ground I call Petals, I reach many. This brings such JOY to my soul beyond compression or expression. What you see here is who I AM. I have just come through a huge transformation and it is going to show in both my words and my photographs that are coming this week. In editing some images just today tears came to my eyes frequently for I felt and knew I truly was walking on Sacred Ground through my ability to tap into Mother as deeply as I do. This humbles me greatly. I really am in awe of me.
        I do so hope you are here this week, for this week at Petals will mark a huge milestone for me. There is no name to this milestone, it is just What IS. ❤

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  39. You are on an amazing journey to be free to live the rest of this life in pure love, dear Amy ❤
    Blessings for your healer, I really hope, that both you and your hubby will find your ways to become totally free.
    You have long lived your life in love, which have helped you to survive so far. Your lovely cats have been helping you to be able to help and heal old wounds, which they are so great to do. Their love are an amazing help to survive and go on, also in tough times.
    I'm so happy to read, that you had the experience and needed healing to set yourself free from your past, my friend.
    Your post are very touching and I needed a little time for consuming before commenting. I feel so happy for you and now I got an understanding for, why it felt so difficult to get through to you to be able to send both you and your lovely beauties love and healing. Back then your beauties were more open for receiving than you were.
    I send you all my love and wish all the best for you.
    Much love ❤ Irene

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    1. Please let me know, Irene, if now you are able to get through when you send energy. There was stuff blocking the way it seems and hopefully that stuff is all there is. Thank you for taking the time to read this post which was a lot to incorporate, I do admit. I really feel this is a huge turning point in my life and where I go from here, I do not know. My Heart does though. 🙂
      Hoping you are well and your mother is doing good. Have a great weekend, and please take care of you. Love, Amy ❤

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      1. I will let you know in few hours Amy. It is past midnight here now and I have time and possibility to send you healing now. You will receive answer by email.
        Your post hit me in several ways, why I needed a little time.
        I’m so happy for you to get released from all this, now time to be you, dear friend.
        Much love ❤ Irene

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  40. I am grateful to see your light shining so brightly here. I was taught that what we heal in ourselves, we are healing for the whole world. Thank you for the important work you are doing. in lak’ech, debra

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    1. Debra, I too believe as you do. This is what mainly keeps me going when the going truly gets difficult. I see you have “wisdom” that you impart as well, so yes I followed you and will be back over to your blog later. I have several Mayan books, but put them down because they felt “off”. Most books I pick up feel that way. (Smile) Your Jaguar friend, Amy ❤

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  41. That’s one of the most profound things I’ve ever read. How you’ve had that pain held in, marking physical places, these things do not surprise me. Nor am I surprised by your chiropractor freeing them. But I am surprised and delighted at your candor in writing about them, in sharing your experiences. So brave.
    Wishing you continued healing and freeing, my friend. xo

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    1. Thank you, Joey. I do not speak of my past often, nor of the hardships I have in my life to this day. I have chosen rather to look at the Beauty in my Life. My Heart guided me to write this post and in so doing, it was scary, very. My purpose was multi-faceted in that, I wanted to show vulnerability, and I wanted others who know pain as I do that they are not alone, and I wanted others to know that no fate is written in stone and that with LOVE you can truly change your Life! I’ve been walking this Journey a long time, my friend, and to have this kind of huge release brings tears of Gratitude, Relief, and JOY. I’ve worked so hard for this!
      If there is one thing you know about me now, I am honest and I will speak of things that most still sweep under the rug. This is the ONLY way to heal oneself. Peace, Joey! ❤

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  42. Sorry for being absent from here Amy, and huge hugs for being so brave and sharing this with us…I am so sorry that you had to go through this but like I have told you many times before, you are inspirational! ❤ ❤ Much love always…may you always find that strength in your tears…

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    1. Hi, Ted. Yes, thank you I do realize this. I’ve had several “spiritual awakenings” yet none to date as soul shaking and deep as this one was. I am still to this day attempting to gain the weight loss involved in this awakening. Many years of dedicated blood, sweat and tears have gone into these events. Whoever thinks healing is a joy ride thinks wrongly. To embrace the results of the healing journey yes is great JOY. 🙂 ❤

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      1. It is as if one needs to be almost completely decimated before a rebuilding on a strong foundation can start. Some people ‘get it’ and others, for whatever reason, do not experience so much pain that the awakening is not needed. I know it may seem abstract to some, but for me it is as concrete as oxygen, sight, tasted touch hearing and on and on..Take care

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  45. My heart breaks for you but you’ve known hope. I hope you can get your hands on this. I got it from the library:

    The last best cure : my quest to awaken the healing parts of my brain– and get back my body, my joy

    Xxxx
    Diana

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    1. Diana, I am so grateful for this recommendation. I bought the book at Amazon. I am so determined to go all the way on this Journey of mine that I started in 1984. I’m finally at the core, the most difficult. I know this book will assist me greatly. Bless you! ❤

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      2. Diana, I just received my book today and I already have my nose in it. I never associated all my diagnoses with my childhood. Where I live the docs are not that great. If they ate here, I have yet to find them. I am so grateful for your recommendation!

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      3. Hey, so good of you to let me know. (The childhood trauma questionnaire blew me away, actually.) You will like the book more and more. It’s awesome how practical she kept it, while explaining all the neurological underpinnings.

        Love,
        Diana

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      4. I’ve already seen the questionnaire and my mouth dropped open. OMG. I am going through this book with a fine tooth comb learning and applying everything I possibly can. I am SO determined to obtain health fully! Love, Amy ❤

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  46. Hi Amy. I did not want to bother you with this my comment to recall all the horror of your childhood memory. I’ve read this your post many times and it really bothered me. How is it possible to treat the child like that.
    Recently I read one blog where the author write about this kind of adult behavior against kids and this woman trying to help people to heal their pain and fear. (https://gentlementalannie.com/about-annie/)
    Sorry, for reminding you not pleasant things.
    My best wishes to you,
    Alexander.

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    1. Thank you, Alexander. I will check out this link. I am very touched by your concern … Bless you! Yes I lived through something unimaginable, yet it happens too much, so much more then any of us are aware of. There is a deep sense of shame to even share this kind of information among the “survivors” so they opt not to talk about what happened to them. As you can see by what I wrote, I have said goodbye to shame. What happened was not my fault at all. ❤

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