Clinging Precariously to a Fragile Existence

Before I write what IAM about to, my Intention is for you to look very closely at this photograph. Click on it or touch it to see the “large version”. I want you to look at the spider. When I took this picture, this spider actually tensed, hugging the petal that She was sitting upon, hunkering down as close as She could get. Do you see this? This Spider either saw me, heard me, felt me, sensed me, and in so doing, fear of survival came into play, and She tensed, ready for “action”.

Just think about that for a moment. Spiders do have “feelings” and they are “intelligent”. It may just get you to think before you kill one. They are known in Native American Teachings as the Creator, creating from the Web of Eternity. There is a lot more to spider then at first glance. I have seen spiders go into survival mode when I approach them, and it is not until I reassure them that I mean them no harm, that I visibly see them relax. So, with that BEing said……..

That Spider on that Rose represented me in these past few weeks. I found myself clinging precariously to a fragile, and I mean fragile existence. The extreme high velocity and frequency of the Energy that tore through this body/mind was as though I had Niagara Falls in me. It just did not stop! It tore at me, relentlessly pouring and pouring and pouring in me and through me.

I could not stop moving. As in my article titled “Time”, due to me chasing my tail, time became out of my “control” and speeded up as well. All in me, all around, was a frenzy, and that included my cats. This frenzy would not stop. Week after week, this continued, with every morning me awaking, putting my “energy feelers” out, and groaning, because that intense onslaught of Energy was still happening. Honestly, did someone put amphetamines in my drinking water or something?………..

That is exactly how I felt. As though I was speeding my butt off, unable to stop moving, regardless of how exhausted I truly was!

With this “high voltage energy” came to the surface thoughts and actions and words that shocked me. OMG! This was ME??? Criticism, skepticism, anger, judgment, doubt, hopelessness, despair……..I couldn’t stand BEing me! It was awful! I was a walking trash can! ME?????  No matter what I did, these patterns surfaced again and again, driving me up a wall. I didn’t understand. I was acting in horrible ways, thinking terrible thoughts, stinkin’thinkin’, Inc! This could NOT be me, for I have worked so hard at improving self.

Yes, me!

And in that knowing, I released. Old patterns. Deeply buried within me. This was the purpose of this Energy, to scrub me clean so that I can advance to the next level. I saw all these things, and finally, I just surrendered. Fighting like a Tiger against the process, I became my own worst enemy. I probably could have shortened the process, if I had just let go. I didn’t take my own advice. I too am still learning, as you are and the rest of the world as well.

Well, as I was swirling out of control, falling falling falling in the water falls, real fear was stark and so in my face. I had NO hold on anything. There was no place to hide. None. Zip. Natta. OH GOD! No-thing!

I took ACTION yesterday. I didn’t realize this ACTION would actually break the free fall, yet now today, I KNOW it did. I began to sing, sing my silly songs that I sing all the time, yet, the singing had stopped due to this process that was pulling me apart! And when you are surrounded by all these negative emotions, believe me, singing is the last thing you want to do.

When I first began to sing, it was a real battle. No! I don’t want to do this! Yet, I pushed through. Exhaustion was so prevalent last night as I cleaned up the kitchen, to the point I didn’t know how I was going to get done what was set before me. And then SING when I could barely take the next breath? Yes. Sing I did.

And when I took my shower, “something” guided me to sing at the top of my lungs in the hot steam. Hubs really wasn’t too thrilled about this and complained he couldn’t hear the TV. But, I kept singing LOUD and in so doing, I broke up the cement that has been in my sinus cavities for weeks now, AND I got the stuck energy in me moving in order to move these negative old patterns up and OUT!

It worked! Oh, Sweet Jesus, it worked! Finally, something worked!

And I wouldn’t have “known” about this “fix” to the “energy blues” unless I had taken ACTION.

I woke up today, for the first time in weeks, without feeling that rapid razor within, scraping scraping scraping. I awoke to PEACE. Even my cats are at PEACE today. Even as I write this the quiet within is Manna to my Soul! OH for the JOY!

Those of you who are experiencing the rapid relentless high frequency energy within, and you find yourself acting or thinking or saying things you really REALLY thought were no longer a part of you, try to SING! Just try it. And in so doing,  you just may release all those deeply buried old patterns that very sneakily “hid” but now……….uh uh, they are now BEing seen due to the increased Light……..YES! Their days are truly numbered.

SING!

My GOD! For the first time in weeks, I can breathe. I feel PEACE. IAM PEACE. Why? I released a ton of old baggage and through INTENTION, all that baggage is now LOVE. If I can do it, so can you. IAM no different from you. IAM sharing what I discovered with you with HOPE that my “A-HA” will enable you to release the old that is screaming to BE RELEASED!

I Love you SO much! Thank you for reading my words, and may they BLESS your LIFE!